Storytime with Rachel F Hundred

When inspiration is foggy and made worse with outside disruptive commentary.

A couple of weeks back, I noted the difficulty in getting back into the writing habit after time away caused by other work commitments. It can feel like a slog, a chore, deeply uncomfortable. It is even more uncomfortable when your muse is just not cooperative.

When I struggle with writing I usually allow myself to simply write what I want to write rather than making myself write something that I have planned. Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn’t.

It definitely has worked this past month to kick start my writing. I’ve half-written an original story, written the poem Weeds, made some progress on Another Dimension, and I’m almost done with my Big Moxie Challenge fanfic which is supposed to be posted before the end of the month. But for some of these things it has been a struggle.

The original intent for the Big Moxie was a completely different idea centred on a follow-up to The Familiar’s Wizard. I had begun to write it back in July but when I returned to it this past week, I had very little inspiration. I set it aside and thought to write a third story in my Teen Wolf series which begins with The Case of the Missing Werewolf. It also did not go well. I finally hit on an old idea and that has gone better. I’m probably a good four thousand words off completion though so who knows if I’ll actually make the deadline since I am working full-time tomorrow and Tuesday. It won’t be the first time I’ve failed to make the deadline. I can still post it, it just won’t count as a successful challenge submission.

On the topic of failing to meet deadlines, I have given in and shifted the likely publication date for Another Dimension to the end of the year. It’s always disappointing to fail at a deadline. I was so confident at the beginning of the year that I could make the original August date. The problem is once I lose the thread and rhythm of the story, I find that it is incredibly hard to get back into it without having to back to the beginning.

The other issue has definitely been a lack of a cooperative muse. It doesn’t matter that I have a story plan, if the Muse is not playing, the narrative feels forced. I’ve ended up disappointed with what I’ve written and need to take a step back and reassess. Unfortunately this feeling has been compounded by negative comments over at AO3 on the other stories in the series.

Typically I am open to constructive criticism. I know my writing is far from grammatically perfect, and I can appreciate that there are always things to improve in story construction, character drawing, and narrative; my works are not deep and meaningful prose with a lot of subtext. My aim always is to tell an interesting story about characters that I love and enjoy, and I hope others enjoy the story too. So constructive criticism is something I can take on board. But it can definitely be disheartening to receive comments which walk that thin line between something that could be argued to be constructive criticism but which really just comes across as a negative trolling dig at the writing or myself as the author.

Some might say that’s part of writing. Not everyone can enjoy what you write. Reading is subjective. There are popular books I’ve read which I just have not enjoyed even as others extol their virtues and vice versa. So occasionally getting a comment on a story which essentially boils down to ‘I’m not enjoying the story’ is to be expected. What I never understand is why someone leaves a comment on an early chapter which does this, but then continues to read and continues to leave negative commentary on later chapters. If I don’t enjoy a story, I simply stop reading it.

Sure, when your job is to review (whether full time or as a side-hustle on BookTok/BookTube), I might understand someone forcing themselves to push through a book to leave a review. But on a fanfic, I really do not get the impulse. It is not as though the fanfic writer has been paid by the reader for the story.

Normally I ignore these types of comment. Where I have approval of comments switched on, occasionally I just won’t approve them. I actually switched on approvals on my AO3 version of A Marauder’s Plan because there was a commentator who clearly disliked the story and was making negative comment after negative comment, chapter after chapter. Even today some other commentators still reply to those comments spelling out their own bemusement at why that person had continued commenting when they clearly disliked the fic.

Unfortunately when I’m trying to write the next story in a series (or continue writing on a work in progress), negative commentary is very disruptive, especially if I’m already feeling insecure about the story. That’s essentially what has happened with Another Dimension. Struggling with my muse, feeling insecure, and negative comments just at the wrong moment. So, taking a big step back from the story for the time being and focusing on other stories, other writing like the Big Moxie.

It is not what I had planned, but I think the story will be better for it, and maybe my muse will be coaxed back.

End Note: Please like, comment or share if you enjoyed this writer’s log! If you would like to buy me a coffee in support of my original writing, check out my Ko-fi or my subscription/donation page.