Storytime with Rachel F Hundred

Eddie Diaz brushed away a dead leaf from the headstone and placed the small bunch of daisies on the ground.  His fingers drifted over the writing, barely touching the script.

“Evan Buckley, Beloved Uncle & Brother, Beloved Buck.  Gone but never forgotten.”

Maddie had refused to add ‘son’ to the words.  Buck dying had reignited Maddie’s anger at her parents for their emotional negligence and coldness towards her brother. 

She had also refused to add ‘soulmate,’ because she was angry that Eddie, Buck’s soulmate, had never stepped up and owned the bond between them fully; had in fact walked away from Buck, abandoned him as surely as her parents had done; as she had done herself in the final weeks of Buck’s life.

Eddie couldn’t blame her for her anger towards him.  He was angry at himself too for not having the courage to break free of his parents’ expectations, of his screwed-up relationship with Shannon and his own insecurities, and simply love Buck.

His hand drifted to rest on the spot where under his clothes the words ‘or, you know, you could have mine’ were black and aching.

Eddie could remember the burn of the writing and Buck’s eyes flying to him as his hand went to cover his own heart and…the ambulance had exploded in a dramatic counterpoint.

After their shift, Eddie had followed Buck back to Abby’s apartment, and they’d agreed to platonic; to friendship; to having each other’s backs.  He’d watched as the flicker of hopefulness in Buck’s eyes had died, shifting into a weary acceptance.

Would Buck have died if Eddie had found the courage to embrace their soul-bond beyond friendship?  What if Eddie hadn’t walked away from Buck just like everyone else?

By the time Buck had died, Eddie hadn’t even known Buck was working for a different firehouse.  He hadn’t known Chimney had arrived back from searching fruitlessly for an absent Maddie who had ran to get help for her post-partum depression, and driven Buck out.  Chimney had forced Bobby to decide between them.  Ultimately Bobby hadn’t made the choice himself, Buck had apparently stepped forward and taken the hit again – an emotional punch to match the physical one Chimney had given him months earlier.

Eddie had been too caught up trying to pretend he was fine not being at the 118, doing a desk job so he wouldn’t scare Chris and…

And distancing himself from Buck because he knew if anyone was going to make him face up to how stupid he was being it was Buck.  Not that the distance had stopped Buck. 

He closed his eyes.  He could hear the final voicemail repeating in his head, knew he only had to press a few buttons to hear it again out loud.

“Hey, Eddie.”

Buck had sounded so sad.  Eddie had ignored his texts and voicemails, knowing if he’d responded he would have caved so instead he’d ghosted him just as badly as Abby. 

“I’m not sure you’re listening to my messages anymore…at least you don’t have a ‘fuck off, Buck’ message like Chimney still does, but…Chris called me and I have to try. 

He told me he hates how sad you are; he says you’re not sleeping?  He said he doesn’t know how to tell you he didn’t want you to stop saving people, he just was scared.  He’s…he’s going to talk to you about it, Eddie.  I just…I just wanted to give you a heads up.”

Eddie took a deep breath, tears pressing at the back of his eyes again as he remembered the desolation in Buck’s voice.

“I miss you.  Bye, Eddie.”

The last message from his soulmate.  The last time he’d hear Buck’s voice. 

He and Chris had talked, had cried together, healed.  Eddie had gone to the firehouse to ask for a transfer back to the 118 and he’d been in the middle of arguing with Bobby when he’d felt it…

The painful wrench of losing his soulmate as Buck died, sharp, and sudden and gone.

He’d died saving a little girl from her manic brother who’d set a fire in their home and found a gun somehow.  Buck had stepped between her and a bullet.

Direct hit to the heart.  It had torn through the words printed over Buck’s skin, ‘you can have my back any day.’

Almost a year had gone by and losing Buck still felt like a raw wound that would never heal.

Eddie swiped at his tears and got to his feet.

He had to get back home, get some sleep before he had to collect Chris from school.  He’d transferred to 136, unable to work with the 118 after…after.  He reached out to the headstone.

“I’m sorry, Buck, I wish…I wish a lot of things, but mostly I wish I’d had the courage to truly be your soulmate,” Eddie murmured.

He stepped away from the grave and stopped at the sight of the old woman standing just behind him.  She was dressed in a smart black coat with knee high black boots.  Her silver-haired bob, pale skin and green eyes gave her an ethereal ageless look.

Eddie froze.  He hadn’t realised she was there, hadn’t heard her approach.  His heart pounded in his chest as he wrestled back his shock.  It was rare someone got the drop on him.

“That’s quite a wish,” the woman said mildly.    

Eddie grimaced.  “Excuse me,” he muttered and took a step to the left to get past her.

She raised a hand and his body just stopped.

Goosebumps raced over his skin, the hair at the back of his neck raised in atavistic warning. He stared at her.  “Who…what are you?”

“I’m the one who cut his thread,” she said with a sharp smile. 

Death.

Eddie shivered.  He didn’t believe in curses and jinxes and the supernatural, regardless that the magic of soulmates was real.  He was a pragmatic man for the most part.  Yet his body wouldn’t move despite him willing it to and he just knew she was telling the truth in a visceral way that made no sense except to the most instinctive part of him.

Death stared back at him calmly.  “I heard your wish.  You know most soulmates wish to join their loved ones.”

Eddie swallowed hard.  He loved Buck, he loved him, but he knew the other man would never expect Eddie to wish to be with him, not when there was…

“Really, Sister, you’re surprised that his love for his son anchors him in the here and now?”

A figure moved into his eyeline.  Another woman.  Shorter than Death, slimmer in build with Asian features.  She had long silver hair pulled back from her face into a braid, the same ethereal gaze but her face was kind.  She was dressed in a vibrant orange cheongsam shot through with silver thread and matching slippers.      

“It does so only because you weave it that way, Sister,” said a third voice.

A third woman joined the others.

Eddie took in the curvaceous figure of the African woman who had opted for comfortable jeans and a pale green sweater with the word ‘Mama’ embroidered over the chest.  Her silver dreadlocks framed her face and cascaded down her back while her pale green eyes looked back at Eddie from behind silver-framed glasses.

Eddie shivered under the weight of their combined attention.

“You’re the Fates,” he said out loud.  “Nona, Decima and Morta.”

“Mortals have called us those names and others,” Morta murmured, nodding.  Her silver bob barely moved.

“What do you want with me?” asked Eddie, trembling despite his need to pretend a bravado he didn’t feel.

“Our Sister is correct,” Nona said, folding her arms over the sweater.  “Your wish is unusual.”

“You ignored your Fate,” Decima said.  “Your free will chose a path for you, Evan and your son that was against our design.”

Eddie swallowed at the charge.  He couldn’t deny it.  He’d ignored his soulmate, walked away from him. 

“You see now the cost of your decisions,” Morta said. 

“Buck was never meant to be with the 133 that day,” Nona murmured.  “In truth, he was never meant to leave the 118.”

“That wasn’t my choice,” Eddie said tightly.

“You chose not to accept the gift of your soulmate,” Decima said firmly, her gaze catching his forcefully.  She wiggled her fingers and Eddie drew a sharp breath as he Saw the happy fate that would have woven if he’d told Buck that he was happy with Buck as his soulmate, that they could build something new together.

He closed his eyes.

He, Buck and Chris as a family.  Love in their lives and in their hearts.  Peace.  Comfort during hard times.

The images faded.

He opened his eyes and found that he was crying.

“When you walked away from Evan, he felt adrift,” Decima continued.  “He believed he was unlovable and unwanted by everyone.  After all, hadn’t his soulmate, the one person who was meant to love him, also rejected him?”

Eddie flinched.

“Howard Han’s jealousy of Buck, his need to hurt him by denying him his place at the 118, forcing Robert Nash to make a decision on the matter, drove the point home,” Decima concluded.

Eddie swiped at his face, startling as he realised he could move again.  “I get it,” he said, “I screwed up.”

Nona’s expression softened.  “Many people made choices that led to Evan’s thread being woven into something different than what was planned.  His sister, Howard, Robert, many others.  Evan had choices too, Edmundo.  He chose to put himself between the girl and the gun.”

“He would never have chosen otherwise,” Eddie stated with certainty.  “Even if we’d been together.”  He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face again.  “I just…if I could take back my choice I would.”

The three women looked at each other.

Morta cocked her head.  “I alone cannot undo the cut.”

Nona nodded.  “And the thread I created is still part of the weave.”

“But together we can unravel the weave,” Decima murmured.

Eddie’s heart felt like it was trying to beat out of his chest.  Were they…  was this…

It was impossible.

Wasn’t it?

“You can do that?” asked Eddie, trying not let too much hope into his voice, into his heart. 

“We can,” Decima said.

Morta frowned.  “The question is whether we should.”

Decima tilted her head.  “The weave was changed for many because Evan is not here to save the lives we believed he would.  But is a darker weave than we would have woven enough reason?”

“The weave is wrong as it is,” Nona countered.  “It is in our power to unravel and remake.”  She looked over at Morta.  “Evan was created to save people; to love people; it is his purpose.  A bright gold thread in the weave.”

They exchanged another look.

Eddie held his breath.

They turned back to him, eyes glowing with inner light.

“If we give you this second chance, what will you do with it, Edmundo Diaz?” asked Nona sternly.

“I’ll accept your gift,” Eddie said immediately.  “I’ll be the soulmate Buck deserves.”

“Then I make his thread whole again,” Morta said.

A bell tolled in the distance.  The air grew heavy.

“And I un-weave what was done,” Decima intoned.

Another bell.

And Eddie suddenly couldn’t breathe.

“Begin anew, Eddie,” Nona whispered.

There was a faint sense of a kiss upon his forehead and…

o-O-o

Eddie gasped awake, scrabbling upright and pushing his covers to the floor to rid himself of the sense of being restricted, restrained.  He closed his eyes at the sharp bright light of the sun streaming in through the blinds of the window in front of him and…

What the hell had just happened?

He took a deep breath as he swung out of bed to sit, eyes squeezed shut, and his head pounding.  His body complained in a way it hadn’t done for years, a way that had been all too familiar in the first year after his return from service.

Eddie lifted his head and opened his eyes.

The sight of the bedroom he’d shared with Shannon in Texas filled up his vision. 

He blinked.

It was impossible.

But then…

Hadn’t he just been in Los Angeles?  In the cemetery wishing he could have Buck back and do everything over?

The memory of the three women sent a shiver down his spine.

Had they unravelled time?  Had they given Eddie his second chance with Buck?

He instantly looked down at his bare chest and the lack of writing over his heart.  He grieved the absence of the words as he pressed his hand against his skin.

Eddie checked his phone and grimaced at the old model.  Luckily, he’d ignored every single piece of security advice and reused his passcode for years.  He took in the date. 

October 2016.

Shannon had left him almost a year before.  He was already working two jobs and he’d start another by the end of the year to pay for a procedure Chris would need.  It would take him another year to make the decision to leave.     

Eddie had started with the 118 in September 2018 after completing a six-month intensive fast-track course.

Buck would take the year long programme starting in January 2017 and he’d start at the 118 the following January in 2018.

Eddie sprang up and paced.

Could he?

Could he?

Could he go to LA and join the Academy at the same time as Buck?

He came to a halt at the window and stared out at the backyard.

He couldn’t stay in Texas.  Not without losing his mind.  His relationship with his parents was already rocky, beset with tensions from their expectations and his choices in the wake of Shannon leaving, but it had only turned truly fractious when they had suggested they take custody of Chris and he’d responded by moving to California.  From there it had been a slow slide into estrangement.  He’d stopped speaking to them entirely in the wake of Buck’s death.

Los Angeles then.

Nobody would question it if he admitted it was to pursue a soulmate. 

The healthcare would be better for Christopher too.

Eddie checked the time.  It was too soon to call California.  In the meantime, though…

“Daddy!”

Eddie smiled at his son’s childish shout. 

Christopher.

o-O-o

The first thing that Eddie did was apply to the Los Angeles Fire Department.   Chris sat beside him at the dining table drawing a picture as Eddie filled in the online application.

He remembered being incredibly nervous the first time, unsure if he’d be accepted.  Second time around, Eddie filled the online boxes with confidence.  He breathed a sigh of relief as he pressed send.

He’d only just squeaked in before the deadline for the January cohort.

He wondered if Buck was sitting nervously wondering about his application back in Los Angeles.  He’d tracked down Buck’s social media but apart from a couple of photos of Buck in the gym when he’d first arrived in LA, Buck hadn’t actually posted much.

He frowned.  He didn’t want to stalk Buck on the internet.  He wanted to be with him.

He closed his laptop.

Chris peered at him, wide eyes blinking innocently behind his glasses.  “Did you finish, Daddy?”

“All done,” Eddie assured him.  He’d talked to Chris that morning explaining in simple terms that he’d dreamed of his soulmate and agreeing with Chris that they should go find Buck.

Chris looked down at his drawing.

It was of the beach and there were three figures – one which Eddie figured was him, a smaller second which Eddie figured was Chris, and a third figure which was just adult-sized.

“Is that Mommy?” asked Eddie gently.

“It’s your Buck,” Chris murmured. 

Eddie felt his heart ache with how good Chris was.  He reached over and dropped a kiss on Chris’ forehead.  “Thank you, Chris.”

His son bit his lip and looked back at him anxiously.  “Do you think he’ll like me, Daddy?”

“I know he’s going to love you,” Eddie assured him.  “He’s our Buck.” 

Chris nodded.  “And he won’t leave us like Mommy?”

Eddie’s heart ached for an entirely different reason.  He shifted to place his hand on Chris’s arm.  “Mommy loves you.  She left because she needed to be with Grandma like I said, and…and Mommy’s struggling with everything she’s feeling so she can’t talk with us right now.”

Chris was silent as he processed Eddie’s words.  They’d never really talked about Shannon’s departure, beyond Eddie assuring Chris she’d gone to look after her mother but that she would return one day.

“Feelings are hard,” Chris sighed heavily.

“They are,” Eddie agreed.  “But I want you to know that it’s not your fault she’s gone or that she hasn’t talked to us in a while.”

With hindsight, Eddie could even acknowledge it wasn’t his fault either.  Shannon had ultimately made her own choices, and maybe he hadn’t given her the support she needed, but she’d chosen to walk completely away rather than work it out; to not even contact Chris.

“But for the record, buddy,” Eddie said, “I don’t think Buck will ever choose to leave us once we find him.”

Chris clambered out of his own chair, reaching for him and Eddie pulled him into a hug.  “I can’t wait to meet him, Daddy.”

Eddie kissed his forehead again.  “Me either.”

The sound of a car pulling up in front of the house had Eddie peering out of the window beside him.  He repressed the urge to sigh.  It was his parents.

Chris beamed at the sight of them and started squirming to get down.  Eddie placed him back on the floor but held onto him.

“Don’t forget, mijo, Buck is…”

“Our secret,” Chris nodded solemnly.  “I won’t forget, Daddy.” 

Eddie smiled at him and got up to answer the door. 

o-O-o

Five weeks later, Eddie knocked on his parents’ door briskly and entered.  “Mom?”

“Eddie!” His mother bustled out of the kitchen wiping her hands on a towel.  She kissed his cheek, but Helena Diaz’s attention was already gone – assessing the empty space beside him.  “Christopher not with you?”

“He’s at a playdate,” Eddie demurred.  “I was hoping to speak to you and Dad.”

His mother’s gaze assessed his expression with concern, but she nodded.

“Edmundo,” Ramon Diaz appeared, stepping out of the small room that acted as his home office.  He walked over to greet Eddie with a pat on the arm. 

His mother ushered them both into the den and went for drinks.

“You wished to talk to us?” His father said brusquely.

“Let’s wait for Mom to come back,” Eddie said, “I’d rather not say it twice.”

His mother arrived back with a tray filled with mugs of coffee and a plate of cookies.  She set it down on the side table and handed them their drinks.

“Is this about Christopher’s hospital visit?” asked his mother.  “I told you we should have rescheduled so I could come with you and…”

Eddie cleared his throat and set his coffee down.  “We’re moving to California.”

Silence.

His mother blinked at him, shock all over her face.  His father’s mouth dropped open and shut again; he swallowed.

“You’re chasing after Shannon?!” His mother’s voice shook with fury.  “Are you mad?”

“I’m not chasing after Shannon,” Eddie said firmly. 

He leaned forward in his chair, hands clasped in front of him.  He’d considered a multitude of ways to break the news, to stop his relationship with his parents from spiralling and he hoped he’d found a way.    

“I’ve already seen a lawyer, I’m filing for divorce on the grounds of abandonment,” Eddie stated.  “Shannon should have the papers by the end of the week.  She has a month to contest it with the courts here.”

He’d also sent a letter to Shannon at her Mom’s old address a week before explaining his reasoning on the divorce.  He’d also tried to give her a route back to Christopher remembering how much she’d hurt over leaving him when they’d reconciled in his old life.  He was half-surprised that Shannon hadn’t called him even if it was just to protest that he was making another decision for the two of them, but he had heard nothing.

His parents were silent.  His Mom sank down to sit beside his Dad on the sofa.

“Eddie,” his mother began before she stopped, uncertainty written all over her face.  She darted a look at her husband.

“We cannot blame you after what she has done, but divorce is a big step, Edmundo,” his father said quietly.

His mother nodded.  “We thought you were still in love with her.”

“I do love Shannon,” Eddie said softly.  “She’s the mother of my son and I will always, always care for her.  And maybe, despite knowing we’re not good as husband and wife, I would still be holding onto the idea of reconciling,” he admitted, taking a deep breath, “but I dreamed about my soulmate.”

They stared at him again in shocked silence.

It wasn’t unusual for soulmates to admit to dreaming of each other long before they met. 

“A soulmate,” his mother murmured, tears brightening her eyes, “oh, Eddie.”

“I dreamed a life with him,” Eddie continued. “He loved me and Christopher so much,” his voice broke and he took another breath, wrestling with the remembered grief of losing Buck.  He shook his head and looked back at his parents. “I want to be with him.”

“And he is in California,” his father stated.

Eddie nodded.

His mother coughed delicately.  “You’ve never shown an interest in boys, Edmundo, are you certain…”

Eddie shrugged, “I guess I’m bi?” he said out loud.  “I just know…” he struggled to put his feelings for Buck into words.  “I just know he’s it.”

“It was the same with your mother and I,” his father said.

His parents smiled lovingly at each other.

“I’ve had a job offer from the LAFD,” Eddie said, “I start in January.”

“So soon?” his mother frowned.

Eddie nodded.  “I figure Chris and I will move between Thanksgiving and New Year; spend Christmas out there with Abuela and Tia Pepa.”

His mother made to protest but his father surprised him, wrapping his hands around his wife’s and quieting her.

“How can we help?” his father said.

It was Eddie’s turn to sit in shock.  “You want to help?” he stammered out.

His father sighed.  “I know we don’t have…I know our relationship is not easy, Edmundo,” he held up a hand, “that perhaps the fault for that lies with us as the parents.  But we only want what is best for you, for you to be happy.”  He held Eddie’s gaze.  “Your soulmate is calling to you.  Let us help you find him.”

His mother reached over and clasped Eddie’s hand.  “Your father is right.  Who else knows the happiness you find with your soulmate more than us?  It’s all we’ve ever wanted for you, Eddie.”

Eddie squeezed her hand back and nodded.  “Thank you,” he said, not quite believing how the conversation had gone.  He took another breath.  “And yeah, help would be good.”

o-O-o

Eddie slowed as he neared the house he had bought a block away from his Abuela.  He’d made a conscious decision to find somewhere other than the property he’d had previously rented.

This was a second chance, a new beginning.

He was half-surprised to see the car parked up outside his house.  He had half-expected Shannon to cancel on their meeting.  He parked his pick-up – an updated model from the one he’d been driving in Texas that he’d picked out with his Dad.

(And seriously, he couldn’t quite believe how supportive his parents had been with the move.  It was like living in an alternative universe never mind re-living the timeline.)

Shannon got out of her vehicle.  Her dark wavy hair was loose around her shoulders, her aquamarine eyes shielded behind sunglasses.  She was dressed in a loose amber sundress teamed with matching sandals.  Her jewellery, a bangle and dangling earrings, were the artistic pieces she preferred rather than gold or silver.

She looked beautiful.

Eddie took a moment to let the grief that was evoked at the sight of her settle.  He greeted her with a nod.  “Shannon, thank you for coming.”

“I wouldn’t have missed it,” Shannon said with a tight smile.

He led her inside. 

The house was a single storey, three bedrooms, two bath.  He’d sold the house in Texas and used the money to help secure their new home.  He was grateful that the home looked lived in.  The week before Christmas had been hectic but everyone in his family had pitched in.

Eddie had eschewed Durand, getting Christopher into another school closer to the house which had actually been Carla’s first choice back in his first timeline, but which had rejected Chris’ application as they’d had no places remaining.  Applying almost a whole year earlier made a world of difference.  Chris had been excited when Eddie had dropped him off.

Luckily the school also hadn’t required Shannon to attend an interview.  They’d accepted that Eddie was a divorced parent.  But once Eddie had gotten himself and Chris situated, he’d reached out to Shannon again.

And here they were.

They sat the kitchen table with fresh mugs of coffee.  Eddie expressed his condolences again for Janet’s death and Shannon accepted, grief at her mother’s passing flashing into her eyes.

“I was surprised to get your invitation,” Shannon said, her fingertips tapping lightly on the ceramic.  “You made your feelings about our marriage clear with the divorce filing.”

Eddie nodded.  “I want you and Christopher to have a relationship.  He loves you, Shannon.  He misses you.”

Shannon looked away, but he caught the shine in her eyes. 

“Walking away from me,” Eddie said slowly, “I get that, Shannon.  Marriage is a partnership and we…we only really managed that in the bedroom.”  He sipped his coffee and set it down.  “I might have wished you would have waited until I’d recovered more, had another conversation rather than walking out, but I get things feeling overwhelming and running.”

“Because you ran first,” Shannon said tersely.

“Yes,” Eddie didn’t deny it.  “I won’t apologise for my service, Shannon.  The Army was more than a job for me, but I won’t deny that I used re-enlisting for another tour to cover our costs with Christopher’s health-care to escape from the problems of our marriage and the day-to-day reality of raising a child with needs.”  He held up his hand.  “I take responsibility for leaving you with the hard work, day-in, day-out.”

“Thank you,” Shannon said.  Her fingers traced the pattern on the tablecloth. “You know I never meant to stay away so long.”  She took a deep breath and met his gaze.  “I’ve half-written so many letters to you both, picked up the phone so many times.  I just…I needed to be with my mother, and I thought I would call you once I was settled and then…she was so ill.  That’s all I was able to cope with.  After she died, I realised how long it had been and…” she blinked back tears, “I got your letter…the divorce.”  She reached out a hand across the table.  “I want us to try again, Eddie.”

Eddie shook his head and she withdrew with a grimace.  He felt mean denying her, but he knew they’d already tried and she’d chosen to walk away again before the accident which had killed her.  “I told you in the letter, Shannon, that I was filing for divorce because I dreamed of my soulmate.”

Shannon sat back.  “You’ve never believed in that stuff, Eddie.”

“The dream I had was compelling, and he’s real, Shannon,” Eddie said.  “He’s here in Los Angeles and I will meet him soon.”

“He might not want anything to do with you,” Shannon pointed out bluntly.

Eddie thought back to the soulmate discussion he’d had with Buck, remembered again the wistful hopefulness dying in Buck’s eyes as they agreed to be friends.

“I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t,” Eddie said softly.  “But I already love him, Shannon, and I’m not going to change my mind about us even if he asks me to never contact him.”

Shannon took a trembling breath.  “You said you want me to have a relationship with Chris?”

“You’re his mother, and he wouldn’t be the kid he is today if you hadn’t done the hard yards with him,” Eddie said.  “I was thinking we might try to work towards joint custody and full co-parenting once you’ve reestablished your relationship with him.”

Shannon picked up her coffee and took a large gulp.  ““How can he forgive me, Eddie?  I…I abandoned him.”

Eddie smiled.  “If he was a teenager maybe he’d give you a hard time about it,” he said, “but he’s…Chris has got such a big, open heart, Shannon…”

Shannon brushed away a tear.

“…and he’s just a kid who wants his Mom back.”

Shannon took another trembling breath and nodded slowly.  “OK.  How do we do that?”

Eddie picked up his own mug as he started to lay out some options for her. 

It was the right thing to do to give her a chance, he mused later, as he waved her off and headed back inside. 

It was the right thing to do for Chris.  Hopefully, without the baggage of their marriage and Eddie’s expectations as a husband, Shannon could reconnect with their son and feel more confident in that reconnection.  Hopefully she wouldn’t feel overwhelmed again, want to run again as she had done last time…he just had to hope that things would turn out better this time round.

But even if everything led to the same outcome, Eddie thought tiredly, he couldn’t deny his son the opportunity to spend more time with Shannon; to have more precious memories of her. 

He closed the door.

o-O-o

Eddie’s heart was in his mouth as he entered the Academy changing room.  He had arrived early remembering that Buck had once told him he’d been there a good hour before anyone else because he’d set off so early because of the traffic.  He’d seen a very familiar Jeep in the parking lot and his heart was pounding in anticipation.

He paused in the doorway as he caught sight of Buck for the first time in…far too long. 

Buck looked good.  He’d already changed into the uniform and was intent on tying his boots.  He looked so young and alive.  Alive was the best thing ever. 

Eddie forced himself forward, finding his locker close to Buck’s which was a bonus.  “Hey,” he forced out a greeting.

Buck turned to him with an easy smile.  “Hey.”  He stuck out his hand.  “Evan Buckley.”

“Eddie Diaz,” Eddie took Buck’s hand and shook it firmly.  “Guess you’re here for the Academy course too?”

“Yeah,” Buck grinned, “I didn’t realise I was going to get here so early; LA traffic is so freaky.”

Eddie shrugged as he pulled out the uniform from his assigned locker.  “My old training Sergeant used to say better early than late.”

“Sergeant?” asked Buck delicately, but clearly fishing.

“Former Army,” Eddie offered easily.  “Got medically discharged over a year ago now.  I’m looking forward to being part of a team again.”  He plucked a picture of Chris from his pocket and propped it into the metal ledge at the bottom of the inner door.

“Me too,” Buck said.  “I’m really hoping this will be a good fit, you know?”

“I guess you’ve tried more than a few jobs to make that statement?” asked Eddie, relieved that Buck’s innate friendliness was making their reintroduction so easy.

“A few.”  Buck flashed him a bright smile and pointed at the picture.  “You have a kid?”

“Christopher,” Eddie said.  “He’ll be seven this year.”

“I love kids,” Buck said, turning away politely as Eddie toed off his trainers and started to strip.

Eddie hid his smile.  He quickly wriggled out of his jeans and into the durable pants of an off-duty firefighter. “I love mine.  I’m just focused right now on not screwing him up since his Mom and I filed for divorce recently.”  He wanted to make sure Buck knew he was free.

“Better happy apart than miserable together, right?” Buck quipped in a supportive tone. 

“That’s pretty much what I think,” Eddie said as he pulled off his plain white t-shirt and pulled on the LAFD version.  He reached for the boots and sat on the bench to pull them on. 

Eddie cast a look over at Buck who had sat down and was going over the induction pack they’d been given.  “Where are we first?”

“Room 2FA,” Buck said.  “Induction 101 and straight into Fire Theory.”

Eddie nodded.  “What we’re here for, right?”

“Yeah,” Buck tried to hide his nerves with another bright smile.

Eddie shut his locker and picked up his own pack. He sent Buck an inquisitive look, hoping to ask about the nervousness silently in a way that Buck would get what he meant.  He always had before, but he’d worked closely with that Buck.

“Just…” Buck blushed endearingly, “I was never a great student, you know?  At school?  I mean I did OK but not great.  I’m just hoping I do better here now it’s something that really interests me.”

“I always prefer practical hands-on training myself,” Eddie said simply as he gestured towards the door.  “Maybe we can help each other study the theory?”

Buck’s expression brightened as he got to his feet.  “That’d be great.”

Eddie reached out to pat Buck’s shoulder as they started out of the changing room.  “I promise I’ll have your back…”

“…and I promise I’ll have yours, Eddie.”

And the sting of words being written across their skin had them both freezing.

Buck stared at Eddie wide-eyed.  “Eddie…”

Eddie pressed a hand against his racing heart, unable to speak.  He’d known but he hadn’t hoped they’d get their words so soon again after meeting and…he’d keep his word this time, he promised Buck silently.

Buck shifted weight, nerves and hope warring in his wide-open blue eyes.

Eddie smiled at him gently, reassuringly because there was no way he was going to reject Buck.  “Hey, soulmate.  Glad to meet you.”

And Buck’s answering smile was everything Eddie had longed to see.

o-O-o

Five Years Later

Emergency Operator: 9-1-1, what is your emergency?

Panicked Woman: Oh, god! My son has set fire to my house!

Eddie frowned as they exited the truck. 

“You OK, Eds?” asked Buck, concern creasing his face.

“Just…” Eddie shrugged, “something’s niggling at me.”

Buck waggled his eyebrows.  “Like one of those things from the soulmate dream?”

Eddie nodded. 

A lot of things had changed from the first timeline he’d lived.  He’d put that down to his changing events so he’d meet Buck earlier having some kind of butterfly effect.  But a lot was still the same.  Once they’d gotten to the 118, Eddie had started to encounter the calls and events that he’d heard about or lived through before.

It hadn’t felt right to lie to Buck about it all.  Buck had been quiet in the aftermath of the conversation and Eddie had worried he’d ruined them again until Buck had kissed him and thanked him for coming back to him, coming back for him. 

Importantly, they’d worked out a way for Eddie to be able to justify telling Bobby to change something up or give a warning to enable them to make the world a little better.

Anonymous tips had stopped the bombing of the fire-truck, the team being accused of stealing, and Eddie getting sniped on the job; they had gotten Jeffrey Hudson, Jonah Greenway and Doug Kendall locked up.  Careful conversations had helped Hen avoid imploding her marriage with Eva, Chimney from being skewered by rebar, and Bobby from relapsing.   

But they couldn’t stop everything – and in some cases, things just happened beyond their control or knowledge or ability to step in.

Natural disasters still happened.  The pandemic still hit.  Sometimes the callouts had the same outcome no matter what they did.  (And Eddie could almost feel the presence of the Fates in those moments).

Shannon had died again in a similar accident.  She and Buck had ended up as great friends much to Eddie’s chagrin.  They grieved her loss, but Eddie was grateful that they’d had more time with her.

Maddie had still run with her post-partum depression even though both Eddie and Buck had tried to ensure she and Chim had a lot more support in the aftermath of Jee’s birth.  And Chim had still blamed Buck in the fallout even if he hadn’t given Bobby an ultimatum about them both working at the 118. 

Chimney walked past where they were controlling the hose and flow of water over the fire, giving Buck a sideways glare.

Eddie glared right back.

Buck nudged him.  “It’s OK.”

“It’s really not,” Eddie said bluntly.  He frowned and cast a look around.  He couldn’t remember the fire from the previous timeline, but then he had been working at Dispatch in the previous timeline during the same period.  Something about the scenario nagged at him…

The house fire was extinguished, leaving the family home a burnt-out husk. 

Over to the left, the smoke-smudged family talked with the police officers who’d arrived.  Their young daughter was playing with their dog on the neighbour’s front lawn.  The son had apparently run after the fire started.

Buck started to pack up and Eddie helped him.

“You still have that feeling?” Buck asked quietly.

“Yeah, but I can’t remember why,” Eddie said, shaking his head.  “I wasn’t working as a firefighter.”

“Maybe you heard it second-hand from me after,” Buck said, keeping his voice low so it wouldn’t travel to their team.  The 118 was used to Eddie’s soulmate dream intuitions but not the truth. “Or maybe you heard about it in Dispatch?”

Eddie’s head snapped around to stare at Buck.  Or maybe they hadn’t been meant to get the call at all.

And suddenly he knew exactly what the moment was.

As if the universe had also figured it out, a boy stumbled out from behind a near-by car.

Eddie spotted the weapon immediately.  “Gun!”

Buck moved to protect the girl and…

Eddie tackled them both to the ground as the sharp retort of the weapon echoed in the street.  He was vaguely aware of another gunshot and voices and…

Suddenly, he was on his back, Buck’s anguished face in his sight, marred by blood-splatter.

“Eddie!” Buck said urgently.  “Stay with me, Eddie!”

Eddie reached up with one hand to cup Buck’s cheek.  “You hurt?”

“No,” Buck answered on a sob, “just you.”

“Good,” murmured Eddie.  It was worth it to save Buck.  He would have agreed to the swap if the Fates had told him back when they’d unravelled the tapestry.  His time with Buck, with his soulmate was worth it.  Buck would take care of Chris.  They’d take care of each other…

He sank into the waiting darkness…

And found himself in the cemetery with the Fates around him.

For a second, he almost panicked as the thought that his second life had all been a dream drifted across his mind…

“Be at peace, Edmundo Diaz,” Destina stepped forward, the green of her cheongsam reflected the moonlight. “You have woven a solid tapestry; this was always part of your destiny.”

“You made the most of your new beginning,” Nona said, moving into view.  Her sweater had changed from the green ‘Mama’ to a pink ‘Maman.’

“It is not yet time to cut your thread,” whispered Morta, her black coat billowing in the non-existent wind.

“Go forward without knowledge from this day,” Nona said with a wide smile.

“And weave anew,” Destina added.

“We’ll meet again at the right time,” Morta said.

“Return with our blessings,” they intoned, fading into a bright light. 

Eddie blinked.

He blinked again and stared up at the tiled ceiling with a frown.  He could feel the bandages around his shoulder and grimaced at the sharp twinge of pain.  The smell hit him next; that all-too familiar and unwanted smell of a hospital.

A hand twitched in his before it caught and held onto him.

“Eds?”

Buck’s voice had Eddie turning to look at his tearful soulmate.

“Buck?” Eddie wet his lips, tried to get moisture into his dry mouth.

Buck was suddenly there with a straw and a glass of water.  Eddie sipped up the water gratefully. 

“Chris?” asked Eddie.

“With Abuela,” Buck said simply. “Your parents are flying in.”

“What happened?” asked Eddie, unable to remember anything beyond Buck’s blood-splattered face.

Buck eased back and slid his hand back into Eddie’s.  “You almost died,” he whispered brokenly.  “You…you got shot saving me.”

Eddie squeezed Buck’s hand.  “I had your back,” he said gruffly.  “I’ll always have your back.”

Buck smiled tremulously, a tear tracking down his face which he swiped away with his free hand.  “And I’ll always have yours.”

Eddie smiled and held onto Buck as Buck leaned in and dropped the gentlest of kisses on his lips.

The future stretched out, the Fates’ promise of an unwoven tapestry of events and life still to come echoing in his mind. 

And Eddie would weave it all with Buck, with his soulmate.

fin.