Storytime with Rachel F Hundred

…I just won’t be reviewing it.

For the past seven weeks, I’ve woken up on Thursday mornings, grabbed my breakfast, and parked myself in front of Agatha All Along like it was a Saturday morning cartoon and I was a child in pyjamas again. Some weeks I parked myself more eagerly than others because the week before had delivered a tremendous show and I wanted to watch more. I’ve enjoyed my Thursday morning ritual.  I was a little sad this morning to know that it’s over. 

Since I don’t have a show to watch, let me write instead about why I’m not reviewing The Penguin (2024).

Batman was my first comic book hero crush.  I remember being a young child and watching old re-runs of Batman (1966-68) with my mother.  I loved the campy nonsense of watching Adam West and Burt Ward fighting crime in Gotham.  I loved the sassiness of Julie Newmar’s Catwoman.

I adored Michael Keaton’s Batman.  Batman Returns (1992) is one of my favourite movies of all time.  I loved Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman.  I found Danny De Vito splendid as Penguin.  The whole movie is just a fantastic dark comic book movie.

I happily watched Batman: The Animated series (1992-1995) and Batman Beyond (1999-2001) whenever I could catch them.  

I enjoyed the Nolan’s The Dark Knight trilogy (2005-2012).  This rendition of a more grounded realistic Batman was incredibly well-done.  Christian Bale delivers every time in his performance.  The second of the movies is the stand-out in my opinion, but as a trilogy it gives a great arc to Bruce’s journey.

I watched the early DCEU as eagerly as I watched the MCU for all I wasn’t a particular fan of the tone chosen by Zack Snyder – even if I prefer his Justice League (2021) cut.  I enjoyed Batman v Superman (2016), loved Wonder Woman (2017), and dragged my family to see Aquaman (2018) twice because I really enjoyed the hell out of that movie. 

I mourned the DCEU as it started to crumble with project after project just not landing with audiences, sometimes for very, very valid reasons.  Both the second outings of Wonder Woman and Aquaman failed to live up to the promise of their first films. I’m disappointed that I’ll never get to see Ben Affleck’s own take on an individual Batman movie.

All of which is a lengthy preamble to say that the reason why I’m not watching The Penguin (2024) is not because I prefer Marvel over DC, or hate the Batman franchise.  I’m eagerly anticipating James Gunn’s reinvigorated DC universe.

So, having explained that it’s not because of fandom preference or bias, what is the reason?

When it became clear that the DCEU was in trouble, it was not all that surprising that the studio decided to go in the direction of putting out movies which were outside of the universe.  Fandom immediately designated them ‘Elseworld’ projects as the comics had also once upon a time issued out stories which were separate to the main canon.

The first of these was Joker (2019).  Without a doubt, the movie is right to be critically acclaimed.  It is a dark treatise on societal corruption and its influence on individual human behaviour.  It is evidence that movies rooted in comic book lore can be more than just fantastical adventures.

I did not enjoy it.  I see all the reasons why it is acclaimed.  I just found it too dark for my tastes.  I’ve avoided the sequel completely as just something I have no interest in watching.

You may already see where I’m going with this.

But I did enjoy Matt Reeves’ The Batman (2022), even if it was still a little too dark in tone (and in actual lighting in places), and a tad too long.  In many ways, Reeves is simply deepening Nolan’s grounding of the comic book elements even further into how they might exist in a real world setting.  The story itself came across as a homage to film noir.  The performances were great. Again, it was critically acclaimed, and I can see why. 

Like many I did come away from the film in awe of Colin Farrell’s performance as Oswald Cobb and I wasn’t surprised when a television series with the character front and centre was announced.  I originally did not plan to review it though because I knew I’d found the tone of The Batman too dark.

Still, I did hunt out and watch the first episode back in September.  It was beautifully directed, nicely written, and well-produced.  Its quality is undeniable in these respects assuming it retained that through the rest of the series.  I’m still in awe of Farrell’s performance and believe that he should get an Emmy nomination for it.  But the show’s premise of organised crime and a gritty exploration of Gotham’s underworld is just too dark in tone once again for me to force myself to watch week after week.

I generally avoid gritty realistic dramas.  I wince when there is a lot of violence, although I recently learned that setting such a scene to a pop song of my youth makes it a lot more enjoyable to watch.  I outright loathe horror. I have to be in the right headspace and mood for anything that ticks one of these boxes.

I prefer my movies to have heroes who prevail against the odds, where the bad guy loses and the good guy wins, and there is fun, banter, and adventure along the way.  I grew up on Spielberg’s original Raiders of the Lost Ark trilogy (1981-1989), watching Saturday afternoon television with my Dad in the form of The A-Team (1983-87), Airwolf (1984-86), and Knight Rider (1982-86), and being indoctrinated into the Doctor Who, Star Trek and Star Wars franchises by my Mum.  I segued all of my parental influence into avidly watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1997-2003), the Stargate and NCIS franchises as an adult making my own choices.  

Yes, there are often dark themes explored in these movies and shows, sometimes the characters go through terrible events and traumas, and there is often pathos to go with the witty banter among characters. But there is also typically a happy ending or a hopeful note to their stories which means more often than not, I will enjoy watching them.

Reviews are something I do because I enjoy doing them.  They don’t bring in a lot of traffic to my website and I’m not going to make a living from them.  They are a ‘nice to do’ on my list of priorities.  So, if I really don’t enjoy a television series or a movie, I’m not going to put myself through watching it. 

Do you need to enjoy something to review it?  I’m sure you don’t.  There are plenty of reviewers out there on the interwebs who review regardless of their own personal preferences because it is their job.  Sure, if they’re working for themselves whether as a blogger, or YT channel, they may end up calling a time-out on a television series they dislike, but they still will generally make a best-efforts attempt.  I almost called time-out on The Acolyte (2024), but even towards the end, I still had hope of something better emerging in the storytelling than we got.

For me, the idea of forcing myself to watch something I fundamentally don’t enjoy, even if I appreciate it as a creative and artistic endeavour, seems like a bad mental health choice.  And that’s ultimately, why I’m not reviewing The Penguin as brilliant as I think it is conceptually.