Storytime with Rachel F Hundred

When life is a series of unfortunate events

So, I ended up having the worst luck right at the end of July.  I won’t bore you with the details but let’s just say that three opportunities falling through, a burnt hand, injured ankles, delayed projects, and suddenly incurring more unexpected expense was part of it.

It’s hard when you have a run of bad luck to look past it to the bigger picture and remember why you’re doing what you’re doing; that there are always obstacles to be overcome in any challenge.

I’ve definitely had to look for the positives in the past couple of weeks and there have been a lot of reflections.

Reflection #1 – My Planning Is Working

It took a bit of a hit through the unexpected issues which sucked out time which I’d previously set aside, but I accomplished a lot in July.  That’s definitely something to celebrate and a practice I’m determined to keep up. I possibly need more flexibility in my plan for dealing with unplanned issues.

Reflection #2 – Giving myself grace

I’m much better at giving myself grace.  It’s hard, but I’m recognising more when I need to step away from the plan and simply rest.  I’m learning to forgive myself in those moments more.

In some ways, I also think the universe is giving me grace.

I lost three opportunities in one day.  It was really tough to hear as one by one each slipped away.  And with each of them went the security of some additional income which would have been welcome given some unexpected additional expenses in July, from a fridge packing up to having an unexpected payout for a new passport to needing a new laptop and phone…

The above might not seem like the universe giving me grace but more like it wanted to test my resilience and mettle, yet…I know taking on any opportunity would be challenging for my health.  I’m still not fully back to where I should like to be with managing my critical illnesses.  If I was working part or full time outside my own projects where I control my environment and time, I’d certainly be challenged with that.

Maybe the universe is telling me its not time yet.

Reflection #3 – It’s OK to feel bummed

Despite my reflecting that maybe the universe is enforcing more time for me to get a handle on my health, I also acknowledge that when life gives you lemons, it’s OK to feel bummed that you have lemons before you start thinking about the lemonade.  It’s even more OK to feel especially bummed when you don’t even get lemons.

All of the challenges in July were, well, challenging.  I’m not going to pretend that losing three opportunities in one day was anything less than totally awful and it was a day that completely and totally sucked. 

Reflection #4 – Picking yourself up is a skill

You can’t wallow in feeling awful for long.  There are things to do, other opportunities to make happen.

But it’s not easy to move on from that feeling and focus on other things, not to get too disheartened by rejection and disappointment.  There is also a very fine line between giving myself grace and allowing myself to wallow.

Picking myself, dusting myself off, seeing my wounds bandaged and seeing them heal…each step is a deliberate step away from wallowing.  A mindful step away from wallowing.  And each step is not easy to take.

But you have to learn whatever lessons there may have been and move on.

Reflection #5 – Every cloud has a silver lining

For all there were challenges, there was also some wonderful things to celebrate.  I had my first donations through this website in July – people who want to support me and give me the opportunity to write. 

I’ve had so many people comment and like on my writing over the past month. I’ve had new subscribers every day.

Every donation, subscription, comment and like is an expression of belief in me which is just something I treasure immensely.

And it means that for all that I am challenged by a series of unfortunate events, I know that I’m on the right path with my writing – I just need to believe in myself and keep going.  I can hold onto these silver linings as I step forward.