Storytime with Rachel F Hundred

Part 1: Under the Ice

‘You seem unusually cheerful today, Doctor Weir.’

Elizabeth smiled at Carson Beckett as he slid into his seat at the table in the make-shift conference room. They’d situated it at the back of the dome that had been erected over the Ancient Antarctica outpost. The end wall ballooned outward in a graceful arc; the right and left walls were plasterboard painted a pale green, the smell fresh and lingering. It did nothing to relieve the cold of the room. The final wall had a door which led back out to the rest of the dome; storage areas off to the right, mess off to the left, and the main security entrance and elevator shaft directly ahead.

She was about to reply to Carson when Rodney barrelled in juggling a travel thermos mug of coffee, his laptop and a stack of folders. ‘Sorry, sorry. Important work.’

‘You haven’t missed much, Rodney.’ Elizabeth assured him.

‘I was just telling Doctor Weir she looked cheery.’ Carson explained, the Scots lilt in his accent making Elizabeth smile more.

‘Cheery? Is that a word?’ Rodney’s eyes narrowed on her suspiciously. ‘Why are you cheery? Did they approve sending me more of the equipment that I requisitioned because…’

‘Rodney.’ Elizabeth interrupted. ‘Can we focus before Colonel Dixon joins us?’

Carson smiled at her sympathetically as Rodney harrumphed and opened his laptop.

‘So what does have you in such a buoyant mood this fine day? If you don’t mind my asking?’ Carson said. ‘Have you talked with your young man recently?’

With anyone else, Elizabeth might have objected to the prying but in the short time since Carson had joined the project, Elizabeth had come to appreciate that he was genuinely interested in people and had no hidden agenda. She felt a twinge of guilt because she hadn’t actually talked to her fiancé for days. She’d call Simon soon, Elizabeth promised herself. She smiled at Carson to cover for her pause in replying. ‘As it happens I talked with the President last night. He’s approved a temporary assignment of SG1 to our project and…’

‘Wait!’ Rodney looked up from his laptop sharply. ‘Sam’s coming here?’

‘Yes.’ Elizabeth said letting some of her irritation at his interruption bleed through. ‘As you requested, Rodney. I believe you’ve wanted to consult with her on the database issue since you ran into difficulties.’

It had led to a heated exchange between her and O’Neill because Sam’s appointment as SG1 leader wouldn’t be formalised until she’d performed an off-world mission and that had been delayed with Elizabeth’s request being granted by the President.

Rodney flushed and reached for his coffee with one hand, the other jabbing through the space beside him. ‘Yes, yes, I requested her assistance and once she’s here, I’m confident that together we’ll be able to come up with some brilliant plan to solve the firewall problem and…’

Elizabeth simply stared him down.

Rodney’s voice trailed away but his expression took on a speculative gleam. ‘You’re just pleased because Jackson’s coming here.’

She thanked God for all of her diplomatic experience which had long ago schooled the automatic urge to blush out of her system. ‘You’re right,’ she said instead, taking a moment to enjoy seeing Rodney startled because of her agreement, ‘I am pleased Doctor Jackson will be joining us. His archaeological and Ancient knowledge is vital to translating and understanding what we find here.’

She’d requested Daniel almost from the moment the project had been approved. It hadn’t been a surprise that Jack O’Neill had turned down her initial request but she’d been surprised that he’d continued to block her, claiming with Anubis resurfacing that Daniel was needed where he was. It wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate that viewpoint or that SG1 as a team had contributed significantly to keeping the world safe but SG1 had already been altered with the various promotions of its two military members; surely he had to see that her project required Daniel’s skills as a priority.

What hadn’t surprised her was the way the old boys’ club that was the American military closed ranks around their newest General. Neither Hammond nor Maynard had disagreed with Jack, leaving Elizabeth on the outside. No matter how much respect she’d built for Jack personally, and those who served in the Stargate programme more widely, it reminded Elizabeth of everything she’d ever hated about the military.

It hadn’t helped that Colonel Edwards who had led the engineering team had also been obstructive. She had clashed with him a few times on priorities and in trying to convince him that Rodney’s engineering designs were better than those Edwards was working with. Dave Dixon who had been assigned to head up the military support and protection detail for the project had ended up running interference. She’d been relieved to see Edwards go once the Ancient structure had been made safe, the elevator built and the protective dome constructed on the surface. Dixon was more than capable of overseeing the erection of the other outbuildings.

She actually got along OK with Dixon. He had a good sense of humour and a very down to Earth attitude that she appreciated. But they had also had moments when they’d knocked heads and butted up against each other – usually over matters of military protocol. Dixon had issues with Elizabeth treating the military guys as fully part of the project but Elizabeth was keen not to have a ‘them-and-us’ division. As far as she was concerned the military personnel were as much a part of her team as the civilian scientists.

But they’d sat down and talked about it and she did allow his point that if Dixon gave one order and she contradicted it, it would confuse their staff. She’d appreciated less that Dixon had compared their relationship to being Mom and Dad to a bunch of kids to make his case. She repressed a sigh and wondered where Dixon was; the Colonel was usually very prompt. She glanced at her watch.

‘You did say that SG1 are only here temporarily right?’ Rodney settled back in his chair, his hands wrapped around his thermos mug. He looked smug.

Elizabeth shot him another annoyed look because she knew that he knew that she wanted Daniel for a lot longer than a temporary assignment. ‘I’m certain that once Doctor Jackson is here, he’ll see the benefit of staying with us in the long term.’

The temporary assignment the President had forced on Jack would give Elizabeth time to convince Daniel to agree to a more permanent position, and she was determined not to waste a moment of it. Daniel’s current contract was with the Air Force but she could offer him a better deal under the banner of the International Oversight Committee which governed the Antarctica project. Most of the civilian scientists brought on board had contracted with the international body rather than with the United States Air Force or the equivalent of their own country’s Stargate program.

Rodney shook his head. ‘I think if you think they’re ever going to let him agree to leave SG1, you’re delusional.’

‘Well, I’m looking forward to meeting them all.’ Carson said brightly. ‘I’ve heard a lot about SG1 since I joined the project.’

Rodney rolled his eyes. ‘They’re people, well, not Teal’c who’s, you know, Jaffa, but people! I don’t know why everyone gets so star struck around them.’

Elizabeth exchanged a knowing look with Carson.

‘I’m sure they’re grateful that you’ve never given any sign of being star struck, Rodney.’

‘Exactly! Wait. What?’ Rodney began heatedly.

She was thankful when the door opened and Dixon entered. ‘Colonel.’

‘Apologies.’ Dixon tossed his folders onto the table and sat down at the opposite end from Elizabeth. ‘I’ve been held up finalising travel arrangements for SG1 and General O’Neill.’

‘General O’Neill?’ Her lips tightened as though to prevent more words escaping her but Elizabeth was already disappointed that she’d been surprised into talking.

Dixon nodded. ‘President ordered a visit apparently. He’ll be arriving in four weeks for two days to coincide with the end of SG1’s assignment. He’ll do his normal meetings with you face to face and also spend time with the troops to boost morale.’

‘And he’s going to sit in the chair, right?’ Rodney said before Elizabeth could respond.

‘I’m sure the General will spare the time.’ Elizabeth assured him.

‘Actually, that’s not on the table right now.’ Dixon said, pulling the lid of his pen and sitting forward.

‘You do realise that O’Neill has the strongest gene we’ve been able to find to date and is the only person probably capable of accessing all the data in the system?’ Rodney’s voice rose with every word.

Dixon glared at him. ‘I realise, Doctor McKay, that Colonel Carter has rightly raised the issue of whether it’s safe for the General to sit in the chair as there is uncertainty over whether the Asgard removed or repressed the Ancient knowledge that was downloaded into his head.’

‘I see,’ Elizabeth murmured, ‘the Colonel’s worried that the knowledge will start to overwrite the General’s mind again?’

‘There’s absolutely no evidence that…’ Rodney began furiously.

‘Yes.’ Dixon stated cutting in.

‘That’s just…’

‘A valid concern, Rodney.’ Elizabeth asserted forcefully. Rodney sometimes missed the human element in his thinking. ‘We can’t ask the General to take part in experiments with Ancient technology if it isn’t safe for him.’

Rodney scowled at her.

‘Colonel Carter has contacted the Asgard requesting verification that it’s safe.’ Dixon said mildly. ‘We should hopefully have a response by the time the General gets here.’

‘Why didn’t you say so before?’ Rodney demanded.

Dixon looked at Rodney, didn’t say a word and looked back at Elizabeth expectantly.

‘Let’s move on, shall we?’ She suggested. ‘As we’re talking about SG1’s visit, perhaps we should just cover that now?’

‘Sure,’ Dixon said, ‘they’ll be arriving in McMurdo tomorrow night at twenty-two hundred. I’ve arranged accommodation for them in the officers’ quarters…’

‘Why not the project accommodation?’ Elizabeth interrupted, trying not to feel like the military was trying to make SG1’s visit as difficult as possible already.

‘Apart from the fact that they usually stay in officers’ quarters,’ Dixon said dryly, ‘the project accommodation at McMurdo is in a block not exclusive to us. Teal’c is Jaffa and would raise questions with civilians not associated with the project. Knowing SG1 I suspect that they’ll make use of the overnight barracks here anyway once they’re completed.’

‘I don’t agree on the matter of Teal’c and civilian accommodation,’ Elizabeth argued calmly, ‘I understand that he has been given permission to live off base now and I think we should extend the same privilege to him here.’

‘Even if that is the case,’ Dixon rejoined, ‘Colonel Carter is not a civilian, and as team leader she has requested for SG1 to be housed together.’ He held up a hand when he realised she was going to argue. ‘I suggest you raise the matter with her when she arrives.’

Elizabeth made a note to do just that.

‘I propose SG1 will meet with you at breakfast and fly in with you the morning after they arrive?’ Dixon finished.

‘That’s acceptable to me.’ Elizabeth frowned. ‘Obviously Colonel Carter’s work assignment and Doctor Jackson’s are evident but what about Teal’c?’

Dixon shrugged. ‘You should discuss it with Carter. If she and Jackson can spare him, I’d appreciate his input into the security arrangements.’

‘If she and Jackson can spare him? It’s not like he understands advanced physics.’ Rodney said scathingly.

‘Teal’c has an extensive knowledge of the Ancient language that he developed in a time loop.’ Dixon bit out. ‘And besides that…’

‘Gentlemen.’ Elizabeth placed her hands down flat on the table. ‘Perhaps we should move on?’

They discussed other agenda items for another hour before Elizabeth finally turned to Carson. ‘I believe you have an update for us on the gene therapy?’

‘I do but I’m afraid it’s not good news.’ Carson said. ‘The formula is unstable.’ He paused. ‘I need a stronger genome to act as the base for the treatment.’

‘Huh.’ Rodney tapped his screen apparently reading Carson’s last report. ‘You used your own as the base the last time?’

‘Yes,’ Carson said, ‘the only people with genes equal to or stronger than mine according to our last results was,’ he checked his own notes although Elizabeth was sure he didn’t need them, ‘a Major Lorne and General O’Neill himself.’

‘Why aren’t we using O’Neill’s again?’ Rodney asked, frowning.

‘The Asgard placed a marker on his genome to prevent tampering. It’s entirely possible that it will make any gene therapy unviable.’ Carson explained.

‘But we don’t know that for certain?’ Rodney pressed. ‘We should have tried with the strongest genome first.’

‘Aye but if the Asgard have…’

‘If, buts, maybes,’ Rodney waved away Carson’s concern, ‘all I’m saying is we should try.’

‘And all I’m saying, Rodney, is that if the therapy fails with General O’Neill’s genome I have no way of telling whether it would be down to the Asgard marker or the strength of his genome.’ Carson said firmly.

‘Oh.’ Rodney wagged a finger at him. ‘That’s actually a good point.’

‘So why don’t we try next with Major Lorne?’ Elizabeth suggested, stepping in.

Carson sighed and nodded. ‘It can’t hurt to give it a go.’

‘I’ll have Lorne’s CO make the request.’ Dixon said, making a note on the pad of paper in front of him.

‘Can’t you just, I don’t know, order him to do it?’ Rodney protested.

Dixon didn’t bother looking up from his pad of paper. ‘No.’

‘Rodney,’ Elizabeth stepped in before he could say anything, ‘Major Lorne has to formally give his permission for his genetic material to be used in such a way especially given the international nature of this project. Let’s move on.’ She turned to Dixon. ‘I’ve requested Major Lorne be transferred to the project to provide support. Where are we on that transfer?’

Dixon finished his note and met her gaze. ‘It’s been declined.’

She sat back. ‘For what reason?’

‘A moronic one no doubt.’ Rodney sniffed.

‘Lorne is currently heading up our 302 squad. We have a shortage of 302 pilots.’ Dixon stated briskly. ‘They and the Prometheus are our first line of defence. The President has agreed with Generals Hammond, O’Neill and Vidrine that there should be no transfers until we have the 302 reserve pilots trained.’

Elizabeth tried to ignore the tension that had settled into her shoulders. ‘I see.’ She folded her hands on top of the table and took a calming breath. ‘What about the gene testing?’

‘We’ve completed testing on all permanent Stargate personnel, military and civilian.’ Dixon confirmed. ‘Less than 1% of our current staff have been identified with the genome. In total twenty-one military personnel including General O’Neill and Major Lorne. Five are already assigned to you. In regards to the others, three could be reassigned as support to the project and their transfers are in progress, five have no transferable skills. There were nineteen civilians identified including Doctor Beckett. Five are already on staff; the rest have been previously dismissed as applicants to the project staff for various reasons by yourself and Doctor McKay.’

‘I’d like to review those decisions.’ Elizabeth said, ignoring Rodney’s look of horror. ‘I’d also like all the military names and skill sets.’

‘The information will be emailed to you later today.’ Dixon promised. ‘You should also know that we’ve received permission to begin testing wider than the programme. The Marine Corp is up first as they are being assigned as the protection detail for the Atlantis expedition. We also have a small group of people who are TDA with us but who haven’t been tested; we’re securing agreement with their various COCs now.’

Elizabeth swallowed down hard on the admission that she hadn’t realised that decision had been made. She nodded crisply instead. ‘I’ll also chase the rest of the IOC members for their testing results.’

The meeting wound up soon after that and when Dixon quietly asked her to remain behind, Elizabeth agreed swiftly, waving Carson and Rodney out of the room before settling back to regard Dixon inquisitively.

‘I wanted to make you aware that I’ve received new orders.’ Dixon said without preamble. ‘I’ll be shipping out when SG1 and the General return to the SGC. My replacement is Colonel Sumner and we’ll begin the transition period ASAP.’ He paused. ‘Colonel Sumner is a highly decorated Marine. He’s also confirmed as the military leader for any potential Atlantis expedition.’

‘I see.’ Elizabeth felt the bite of frustration that she hadn’t been included in the discussion again; she had hoped that she would have been given a lot of input into the assignment as she would have to work with the military CO closely.

Dixon nodded, a hint of a smirk playing about his lips. ‘General O’Neill thought you might appreciate seeing Sumner’s record. Sergeant Harriman should have emailed it to you now.’

Elizabeth’s lips twitched. Maybe she and Jack didn’t see eye to eye on everything – Daniel – but at least on some matters he could be remarkably accommodating. ‘I don’t think I met Colonel Sumner when I was at the SGC. Do you know him?’

‘Yeah,’ Dixon gathered his folders, ‘my advice for what it’s worth? Marshall’s a good soldier but he can’t play poker for a hill of beans.’ He gave her a half-salute and left before she could question him further.

She should get back to her office and read the file, Elizabeth determined, rubbing at her forehead and the beginnings of the headache that had begun to throb. She had a feeling the record she was about to read would be her worst nightmare.

She squared her shoulders and got to her feet. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d had to prove herself and it wouldn’t be the last; but she had the ear of the President and the support of the IOC. If the military wanted to challenge her; fine. She could handle it.

o-O-o

Sam hated Antarctica. Loathed it. She still had the memory of climbing to the top of an icy crevasse and staring out at the unremitting white with horror, knowing it spelled certain death for her and the then Colonel. Of course, the Stargate programme being the Stargate programme certain death wasn’t all that certain and they’d been rescued. But then there had been the incident with Aiyana and almost dying again, and the latest escapade which had seen them leaving Jack O’Neill frozen under the ice.

Who the hell liked Antarctica?

‘I like it here.’ Rodney McKay said, digging into his food.

Sam paused, fork almost to her mouth and glared at him over the table in the make-shift mess. It was too cramped and sterile. Dozens of tables rammed into a miniscule space with no décor except unremitting white walls and the dome wall. It felt cold.

‘Uh, sorry? You realised you asked that question out loud, right?’ Rodney waved his knife at her, an almost guileless look on his face.

Sam contemplated stabbing him for a moment with her fork before she took the high road and stuffed it in her mouth. The food was terrible and she almost gagged.

‘I know,’ Rodney said unsympathetically, ‘that curry should come with a warning.’

Sam chewed, took a long gulp of water and chewed some more before she swallowed. She contemplated the rest of her meal with a sense of foreboding.

‘I’ll swap with you, Colonel Carter.’ Lieutenant Aiden Ford offered from his seat beside Rodney.

‘Thank you, Lieutenant. But I’m fine.’ Sam said with a smile.

Rodney shot the young Lieutenant a dirty look although Sam couldn’t work out whether it was for offering to swap lunches or just for existing. Sam knew Ford a little from the SGC and she vaguely remembered that he’d been reassigned because he was one of the few Marines at the SGC with cold weather training. He was a young guy; handsome with a milk chocolate skin-tone that reminded her of Teal’c’s son. They’d all ended up sitting at the same table because it was the only one free.

‘So what about you, Lieutenant?’ Sam asked, scooping up some more food tentatively. ‘Do you like it here?’

Ford grinned at her. ‘Yes, ma’am, I’m afraid I do.’

‘Huh.’ Rodney shot Ford another look. ‘You might not be a complete waste of space since you agree with me.’

‘McKay.’ Sam remonstrated. She rolled her eyes sympathetically at Ford who continued to grin.

‘Don’t worry, Colonel,’ Ford said brightly, ‘we’re all kind of used to him now.’

It was Rodney’s turn to roll his eyes. ‘As I was saying, the only way around the security wall is going to be the chair. We’ve tried everything else.’

Sam winced around another mouthful of tough beef. She sighed and poked at her meal. She needed the calories. She felt cold despite the thermal underwear and layers of uniform she wore.

‘And we need someone with a better gene than Doctor Scared-to-sit-in-the-chair here.’ Rodney gestured with his knife at Doctor Beckett, the other person at the table.

The dark haired Scot glowered at him. ‘Thanks very much, Rodney. I do have better things to do than play light switch for you all the time.’

‘Yes, yes, important genetics, blah blah blah.’ Rodney dismissed the other man’s work with another sweep of his knife. ‘The fact is that we could find the answer to your genetics therapy in the database only it won’t give up any more information because you refuse to sit in the chair…’

‘It’s not his fault, McKay.’ Sam said firmly. ‘And I’m not sure even the General is going to be able to convince the chair to give up the firewall around the rest of the database.’

‘Thanks, lass.’ Beckett smiled at her warmly.

Truthfully, she was impressed that the Ancients had managed to protect the core of the database so well although since it was also the core that held access to the weapons systems it was a big issue, and ostensibly the reason why she’d been assigned to the Antarctica project along with the rest of her team.

She glowered at her meal. Her team wasn’t so much a team right at that moment, Sam thought despondently. Teal’c had lasted a week before he’d come to her apologetic but determined to return to the SGC. She couldn’t blame him because the Jaffa didn’t really have anything to do in Antarctica; her own work was tied up too extensively with McKay’s, and the Ancient language ability required for translation surpassed Teal’c’s understanding so he couldn’t help Daniel. In the end she had acquiesced to Teal’c’s request to leave despite her selfish wish for him to stay. At least he had asked, Sam mused grimly.

Daniel had all but disappeared on her. She hadn’t wanted to ask him for a report because it seemed too formal but when Sam had tried to track him down a couple of times just to see how it was going he had been distracted and not all that forthcoming. It was just Daniel, Sam reminded herself briskly. Daniel, who got distracted by wondrous finds all the time and who could get buried in his work and ignore the rest of the world for days. He had done it all the time to the Colonel; she shouldn’t take it personally.

But she did.

She wasn’t unaware that Doctor Weir had requested Daniel’s permanent assignment to the project, (and despite former permission to call her Elizabeth, Sam was determined to think of her as Doctor Weir while she tried to steal Daniel). The President had stepped in and decided SG1 as a team would spend time on the project temporarily. Jack had been apologetic when he’d told Sam about the assignment as it delayed her formal evaluation and appointment as SG1 leader. It smarted that she’d had no choice in the matter, more than it should after spending her adult life in the Air Force and being subject to the whims of her command.

It wasn’t the orders, Sam thought defensively. It was the situation with Daniel and she probably wouldn’t be so bothered if she didn’t know Daniel was as eager to participate in the project as Weir was to snaffle him. She also wasn’t unaware that if they did discover the location of Atlantis, the lost city that they had in many ways sacrificed Abydos for, Daniel would want to join the expedition. Sam believed the only way to stop Daniel outright leaving SG1 for the expedition was to go along with it.

Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad, Sam considered. She liked the idea of exploring an Ancient city, was excited even, but…and there was a big but, she couldn’t see Atlantis being somewhere easily accessible. The city was lost and it was lost for a reason. Presumably it was hidden in some remote part of the galaxy since no-one had stumbled over it already. Which meant it was going to be a long mission – months away from home, away from Cassie. Janet Fraiser’s death was too raw for Sam to contemplate taking that kind of assignment and leaving Cassie alone regardless that Cassie was ostensibly in college and independent. Sam resented being away in Antarctica despite being able to remain mostly in contact through the odd call and email, and knowing Jack was checking on Cassie.

There was also the fact that Rodney would hold the position of Chief Scientist on the expedition. Sam didn’t begrudge Rodney it – she even agreed that with his skills and experience he had more than earned the position – but it would mean that her own scientific work if she and SG1 were assigned would be subject to his scrutiny. As much as their working relationship had improved leaps and bounds from the first time they’d been forced to work together, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to stomach ostensibly reporting to him.

The past few weeks had been bad enough and she was technically there as his equal at his request. Weir’s leadership style was hands-off it seemed in regards to the science department; Rodney was left to run it and reported to Weir through daily meetings. Sam herself had agreed with his view that as the database project was one of many he reported on, it made more sense for Sam to continue working the problem than being tied up in their meetings. But it did leave Sam feeling out of the loop.

Then there was the whole complicated situation with Weir and Daniel. It irked Sam that Weir didn’t feel the need to let Sam know what Daniel was working on; as his team leader Sam felt elbowed out of the way and disregarded. But it wasn’t all Weir’s fault, Sam thought, determined to be fair. Daniel was equally to blame because he didn’t seem to feel the need to let her know as his team leader what he was doing either.

All in all events were conspiring to unsettle Sam in her new role as SG1 leader. When she’d first been given the position, Jack had responded to a few things as though he was still leading the team and he’d seemed so reluctant to put them on mission rotation that she’d wondered if Jack doubted her leadership abilities despite promoting her. She’d just wrestled that out of her head when they’d been sent to Antarctica and the last few weeks had eroded her confidence. What SG1 needed, Sam mused, was a couple of off-world missions just her, Daniel and Teal’c; it would get them all used to the new dynamic including Jack.

‘…and you’re not listening to me at all!’ Rodney snapped, startling Sam out of her thoughts.

Sam took in his annoyance; his red cheeks and thin lips, blue eyes glaring at her across the table and shook her head. ‘Sorry. What were you saying?’

‘Lots of very important things…’ Rodney began.

Beckett gave a quiet snort of contradiction which had Ford grinning again.

Rodney glowered at them both before he turned back and scowled at her. ‘I asked you when the General was arriving?’

‘He’s scheduled to come out next week.’ Sam replied, bemused to realise she’d managed to eat half the curry while she’d been busy wool-gathering.

‘Good,’ Rodney scraped the last of his meal off the tray, ‘we can get him to sit in the chair then and…’

‘No.’ Sam snapped the word out without thinking. She flushed as the men at the table all looked at her with varying shock and concern.

‘What do you mean no?’ Rodney shot back, leaning forward across the table.

‘I mean no, McKay.’ Sam said evenly. She put her fork down. Her stomach churned uneasily. ‘You know we’re waiting on the Asgard to confirm that he can sit in the chair without reactivating the Ancient knowledge.’

‘I don’t see why you’re so concerned,’ Rodney began brusquely, ‘if the chair activates the knowledge that’s a good thing. He can take down the firewall and get us all the access we need!’

Sam stared at him. ‘You do get that the knowledge overwrites his brain and kills him?’

‘So?’ Rodney protested, gesturing at her impatiently as though she was the one who didn’t get it. ‘If it does, we throw him back into the stasis pod and deep freeze him until the Asgard can do whatever they do again.’

Sam stood up abruptly, hands already curled into fists, anger bubbling through her. She took a deep breath; she couldn’t hit Rodney; she couldn’t. Well, she could but she was better than that. She stepped away from the table.

‘Hey, are you finished? Can I have your jello?’ Rodney called after her.

Sam ignored him. She could hear Beckett’s quiet ‘Rodney’ and Ford’s awestruck ‘wow, you’re lucky not to be wearing that jello,’ before she got enough distance for their voices not to carry. She hurried out. She needed to get some air, Sam decided briskly.

Sam headed for the entrance to the dome and the small room to the side which housed an oversize cloakroom; she pulled on her overcoat and gloves. The guard cautioned her not to wander too far from the front door as she left and she nodded briefly in acknowledgement. She walked a circuit around the dome before coming to a halt.

It was eerily beautiful, Sam conceded, taking in the endless shades of white and sharp angular landscapes. The sky was bright blue and there was barely a cloud. But it was bitterly cold and it felt like she couldn’t get warm.

She really hated Antarctica.

Sam tilted her head as she heard an incoming helicopter and turned to watch its approach. She admired the pilot’s competence and skill; it evidently wasn’t one of the regular pilots because she had flown with them all and she’d had to stop herself from wanting to reach out and grab the controls every time despite not being qualified to fly helicopters. Whoever the pilot was, he was very good because he set the helicopter down as though it was a feather. Sam wondered if she could request him. She loved to fly with someone who knew what they were doing.

The passenger door opened and a familiar figure jumped out, ducking low out of the range of the rotors before slamming the door shut and hustling over to Sam’s position by the wall next to the entrance.

‘Colonel Carter!’ Dixon beamed at her broadly.

‘Colonel.’ Sam smiled back at him, some of her tension draining away. She pointed a gloved hand toward the departing chopper. ‘Who’s the pilot?’

Dixon’s smile widened if that was possible. ‘John Sheppard. He’s with us TDA from the McMurdo squad.’

Sheppard. The name sounded familiar. Sam searched her memory banks and recalled that most of the records for helicopter quals were held by a Sheppard. If it was the same guy…she wondered briefly what he’d done to annoy someone enough to get assigned to McMurdo. Presumably reassignment wouldn’t be an issue.

Dixon nodded as though he could read her mind. ‘I was thinking 302 programme for him.’

‘We need more pilots.’ Sam agreed. They’d lost so many during the battle with Anubis.

‘I think he might make a good squadron leader since Mitchell isn’t going to return and Lorne’s needed back at the SGC.’ Dixon said. ‘It’s a good thing you’re doing giving Mitchell a goal but I can’t believe that kid thinks he’s going to recover enough to join you in SG1.’

‘Cam’s more stubborn than people give him credit, Colonel.’ Sam shrugged. Dixon’s words reminded her that she hadn’t been the one to initially agree to it; that had been Jack. She couldn’t deny Cam the opportunity – he was her friend as well as someone who had saved her life – but she had her doubts about how two Lieutenant Colonels were going to operate in the field.

‘Should fit right in then.’ Dixon grinned. He motioned at her with his own gloved hand. ‘So, I’m guessing McKay or Weir; which one is it?’

She stiffened a little at his words. ‘Sorry?’

‘When I have to get some air it’s usually because one of them’s pissed me off.’ Dixon explained cheerfully. ‘So, which of them was it for you?’

Sam blew out a breath in an almost laugh. She knew the guard wasn’t close enough to hear them but she still felt awkward responding, as though she was telling tales out of class. ‘It’s OK, Colonel. I was just…’ she struggled to explain herself.

‘Uh-huh.’ Dixon shifted, leaning up against the wall beside her. ‘Elizabeth’s a great lady; very good at her job, and I give her props for how much she’s achieved here and with the wider preparations for an expedition in the time she’s had. But she’s a civilian when all is said and done, and I’ve noticed occasionally she doesn’t understand the concept of chain of command.’

Sam looked at him curiously.

‘I mean, she understands the theory of it but I figure she just doesn’t think it applies here because it’s her project.’ Dixon opened his arms expansively to take in the base. ‘She thinks anyone assigned to her is assigned to her and she’s in charge. So when I turn up and find one of my guys moving stuff for the scientists rather than taking inventory like I ordered, I’ve learned to take a deep breath, remind myself she’s not military and she doesn’t mean to undermine me. And when that fails to keep me from being pissed, I take a walk.’

It was distinctly comforting to discover that Weir wasn’t purposefully disrespecting Sam’s position as Daniel’s team leader if she did the same kind of things with Dixon.

‘And I don’t think I have to explain McKay.’ Dixon said with such an aggrieved tone that Sam laughed. ‘I don’t know how you work with the guy.’

Sam thought about Rodney’s words at lunch and made a hum of agreement. ‘Neither do I sometimes.’

‘So it’s him?’ Dixon’s gaze sharpened.

‘Yes. No.’ Sam sighed; her nose wrinkling at her own apparent indecision. She moved back and forth, trying to get warm. ‘Rodney was just being Rodney.’

It was the truth. Rodney wasn’t a team player and his social skills were horrifyingly absent most of the time; he didn’t get the bonds that developed in a team and why Sam would be upset at his suggestion.

‘I probably should have taken a walk before he suggested we could freeze the General again if the chair triggers the downloaded Ancient knowledge.’ She shook her head trying to dislodge the memory that flashed up of Jack’s frozen face.

‘I’d suggest sending McKay to Antarctica except…’ he made another gesture at the surrounding ice.

Sam laughed again. She guessed there was always Siberia again.

‘So if you needed to take a walk before McKay stuck his foot in his mouth it was probably because Weir’s totally bogarting Jackson,’ surmised Dixon, ‘right?’

Sam bit her lip and nodded. ‘You’ve noticed? It’s not just me being weirdly territorial?’

‘Not just you,’ Dixon assured her, ‘and honestly? You should see me when Alex does the same thing with Balinsky.’

Another laugh bubbled up because Alex was Balinsky’s partner; they’d been together for years.

Dixon nudged her shoulder with his. ‘You OK now?’

‘Yes, sir.’ And she was. She felt lighter for Dixon all but forcing her to share her worries.

‘Hey, it’s Dave when it’s just the two of us.’ Dixon said lightly. ‘We SG team leaders have to stick together so anytime you need a friendly ear…’

Sam felt a tug of gratitude at his recognition of her status. ‘Thank you. I appreciate that.’ She shivered. ‘I think it doesn’t help with everything else that I hate being here.’ She confessed sheepishly.

‘Who can blame you, kid?’ Dixon said briskly. ‘If I’d died almost as many times as you and Jack have on this ice, I wouldn’t step a foot on it, I tell you.’ He motioned towards the entrance. ‘Well, I should probably get down there. I have a meeting to discuss how my handover with Sumner is going with Weir.’ He sounded gleeful and Sam couldn’t blame him for enjoying the knowledge that he was going home soon.

‘I think I’ll stay out here a little longer.’ Sam said. Dixon gave her an understanding smile and ambled off leaving wide footprints in the snow.

Sam rubbed at her cold nose. It was time to track down Daniel and have a conversation where she asked him if he could please update her occasionally and pretend she was his team leader. It was the responsible team leader-y thing to do.

But it could wait five minutes more.

Part 2: Taking Flight

It wasn’t as though Rodney didn’t understand that he’d upset Sam at lunch a few days before. He did. He’d known as soon as the words came out of his mouth that it had been the wrong thing to say. The last time Sam had given him that particular look, he’d been telling her Teal’c was already dead.

He hadn’t cared that time – well, hadn’t cared but he had regretted that he’d probably scuppered any chance of having sex with Sam ever – and as much as he tried to tell himself he didn’t care this time because he’d been right, theoretically speaking, he did care. And not because he wanted to have sex with Sam, although he did and possibly always would want to have sex with Sam, but because he’d thought they’d become friends of a kind, or at the very least, that Sam had come to recognise and appreciate his intellect and abilities. He should have remembered how crazy and unreasonable she got about her team.

He’d walked out of the mess carrying the blue jello she had left behind much to Carson’s disapproval but he hadn’t actually eaten himself. He’d left it next to Sam’s workstation with a plastic fork; a silent olive branch that he had thought was accepted when she’d eaten the jello.

Only she hadn’t had lunch with him since. She’d disappeared every day right around their usual lunch hour before he could ask her. Rodney glowered at Sam’s empty workstation. OK, so he hadn’t actually apologised (and he wouldn’t because he was right, damn it), but hello! – jello!

‘Doctor McKay,’ the small Czech guy with the glasses and wild hair, whose name Rodney could never remember, called over to him, ‘do you not have special meeting with Doctor Weir now?’

Special meeting? The memory surged back into his head; Elizabeth on the helicopter that morning reminding him about the meet and greet with the new military CO.

Fantastic.

Just what he didn’t need; an hour or more wasted trying to get to know some military moron. He sighed heavily and tapped out the instructions to save his work. He left the laptop behind but kept his mug with him and headed out of the lab to the elevator.

‘Ah, there you are, Rodney.’ Carson smiled at him happily. ‘Doctor Weir asked me to come and get you.’

‘I remembered!’ Rodney said defensively. And he had. Maybe the funny guy had prompted him but Rodney had actually remembered himself.

Carson hummed and said nothing. He fell into step beside Rodney and they entered the elevator.

‘This is a complete waste of my time.’ Rodney muttered.

‘Colonel Sumner will be in charge of our military friends, Rodney. It’s important we get to know each other.’

Rodney shot him a look and pointed a finger in his direction. ‘You sound like Elizabeth.’

‘Maybe I agree with her. If I decide to go with the expedition then I want to know the people I’m going to be with.’

‘If you decide to go?’ Rodney’s head swivelled round to stare at Carson.

He liked Carson. Carson was remarkably unstupid even if his specialities were in medicine and biology which everybody knew was all voodoo. He also appreciated that while Carson was often exasperated by him – and Rodney wasn’t entirely sure at times Carson liked him – it never seemed to stop Carson from being his friend. It was rare for Rodney to make a friend so easily but Carson had arrived in Antarctica with the view that everyone he met was a friend and Rodney couldn’t find it in himself to disillusion him.

‘Why wouldn’t you come?’

‘I’ve told you before Rodney, my Mam isn’t well.’ Carson replied.

Had Carson told him about his mother? Possibly. And possibly Rodney had ignored what was useless blathering about someone he had no interest in. He was a bad friend, Rodney considered with chagrin. But seriously? If friendship meant having to listen to someone go on about his mother’s various ailments – oh, and some of the conversation had obviously entered his subconscious and stayed there because he remembered bunions of all things – then maybe friendship wasn’t something for Rodney.

And he wasn’t bothered if Carson didn’t come along on the expedition, Rodney thought harshly. He didn’t need to have a friend accompany him. ‘I don’t see why Dixon has to leave.’

‘You don’t even like Dixon.’

Rodney fidgeted. ‘He’s not a total idiot.’

‘Ah, praise indeed then.’ Carson said dryly.

The elevator lurched to a halt and Rodney made a mental reminder to look at the maintenance log.

‘I’m sure Colonel Dixon will be pleased to get back to his bairns.’ Carson continued. ‘I understand all four of them are under the age of ten.’

Kids. Jeannie. Rodney scowled as the faint twinge of guilt assaulted him. He’d meant to call his sister before heading to Antarctica but he’d been too rushed travelling and it never seemed like the right time. When he got back to the States, Rodney decided; he’d call her then.

Elizabeth smiled as he and Carson entered the meeting room. ‘Gentlemen.’

Rodney couldn’t help noticing her smile was tense. ‘Doctor Weir.’

‘I’d like to introduce Colonel Sumner.’

The tall man at the table had risen at their entrance. He radiated soldier in every line of his being with his regulation buzz cut, square-cut jaw and piercing blue eyes. He shook Carson’s offered hand and Rodney belatedly held his out to shake too.

‘I’m looking forward to working with you.’ Sumner said although his smile never made it to his blue eyes.

Carson slid into a chair beside a grinning Dixon. ‘Is this us?’

‘We’re just waiting for Doctor Jackson to join us.’ Elizabeth said resuming her seat.

Rodney grimaced. It wasn’t the first project meeting she’d invited Jackson to attend. He knew Elizabeth was trying to establish what she believed would be her executive expedition committee; him as Chief Scientist, Carson for medical, Sumner for the military and Jackson for the soft sciences and humanities. Rodney maintained that she was delusional about Jackson.

The Air Force wouldn’t let Jackson go easily…and if Jackson was assigned to the expedition then it was likely SG1 as a team would be assigned. While Sam had accepted Rodney’s authority in Antarctica with a graciousness he knew he wouldn’t have in her place, he couldn’t see her staying out of other projects if they were on an actual expedition. Although maybe that could work out because Rodney could send her to the meetings and he could work rather than waste time with boring…

There was a knock on the door and a young Marine poked his head in. ‘Permission to enter, ma’am, sirs? I have a message from Doctor Jackson.’

‘Of course, Lieutenant.’

‘Permission granted, Lieutenant.’

Rodney and Carson exchanged a concerned look at the way both Elizabeth and Sumner had responded at the same time. Dixon placed a hand over his mouth but not swiftly enough to hide his smirk.

‘Uh, Doctor Jackson says that he regrets he can’t make it but he and Colonel Carter have come up with a breakthrough on the database issue.’

Elizabeth’s eyebrows rose and she glanced over at Rodney. ‘I didn’t realise that you were utilising Doctor Jackson on that.’

‘I’m not.’ Rodney said disgruntled. But of course, Sam was; Jackson was her team-mate. And, of course. That’s where Sam was disappearing to every lunch time; to spend time with her team-mate, coming up with brilliant ideas and saving the day. Again. He should have known.

‘It’s not unusual for members of SG1 to consult with each other when solving a problem if they’ve hit a dead end.’ Dixon inserted smoothly. ‘Jackson once told my scientist guy that some of his best breakthroughs come from using Colonel Carter as a sounding board and vice versa.’

‘I see.’ Elizabeth said dryly, leaning back and looking at him steadily.

Rodney couldn’t help feeling he was missing something in the exchange between the two. He cleared his throat and raised his hand tentatively as Sumner dismissed the Lieutenant and Elizabeth thanked him. ‘If there is a breakthrough I should really be there…’

‘I’m sure they have everything under control, Rodney.’ Elizabeth said firmly. ‘And I think it’s important Colonel Sumner gets to know us as we’ll be working together closely.’

Rodney wanted to protest again but he held his tongue at Elizabeth’s sharp look.

‘If Doctor McKay thinks it could be important, I have no issues with catching up with him later.’ Sumner said with a casual smoothness that had Rodney shifting immediately into high alert.

Rodney knew he missed a lot of things in peoples’ actions and motivations but he’d spent too many years in the back-stabbing culture of academia not to understand when someone was pulling a blatant power move. If Rodney took the out, it would be a point to Sumner; if he refused, point to Elizabeth. Rodney sighed. There was no way for Rodney to win but he knew whose side he was on.

‘That’s OK, Colonel. Doctor Weir is usually right in these matters.’ Rodney said briskly.

Elizabeth positively beamed at him. Sumner’s stern face took on a considering look and Rodney’s heart sank.

Fabulous, he thought. Power struggles and they hadn’t even found the address never mind travelled to Atlantis yet. He found his gaze tracking to Carson who looked back at him with shared sympathy; Carson was thinking the same, Rodney knew it. Somehow it made him feel better. Maybe, Rodney mused, maybe having a friend wasn’t so bad.

o-O-o

Jack knew he’d blown it with Sheppard as the helicopter took flight and winged its way back towards McMurdo. Bad strategy, his inner voice said sagely. Wrong argument, said another voice which sounded all too like Daniel. Jack wanted to ignore it but he couldn’t because the voice was right. Sheppard’s record gave all indications that when presented with an ultimatum, the Major would flip up his middle finger and do the option that no-one wanted him to do – including Sheppard himself. Jack had been the same way once; arguably still was. No, giving Sheppard an ultimatum had been the wrong move.

He was off his game, Jack thought morosely. He had been off his game since the President had insisted SG1 needed to be in Antarctica and Jack had needed to stay at the SGC. Not that he had wanted to be in Antarctica but he hadn’t wanted the distance between himself and his team as he adjusted to his new command. Jack had missed his team. He had missed seeing them every day; missed being with them. He had missed Carter’s distracting stream of technobabble and Daniel’s earnest excitement over a two-thousand year old piece of pottery. He’d even missed Teal’c who hadn’t stayed in Antarctica because he hadn’t seen a lot of him after the Jaffa had asked to go out with the other SG teams.

But he had to admit that the time SG1 had been gone had given Jack space to get used to the SGC command; to adjust to the tasks he hated and enjoy the tasks he didn’t; to get to know all of his staff rather than relying on the three people that he was closest to in the whole galaxy. Maybe, Jack considered wryly, he might even pass the President’s secret test of his command that Hammond had warned him about a few weeks before.

He had been dreading it and when the President had ordered SG1 to Antarctica, Jack had been certain he would fail it. Thankfully, a small economic crisis had delayed the President’s anticipated visit to the SGC and the secret test that would determine whether it would happen at all. He still wasn’t looking forward to it but at least he would have SG1 beside him when he faced it.

Sheppard eased the helicopter into a short climb and caught Jack’s attention again. Jack couldn’t exactly blame the guy for not jumping at Elizabeth’s invitation to join her expedition and asking for some time to think about it. Sheppard had only known aliens existed for five small hours and in that time Sheppard had also out-flown an Ancient drone and learned he had a magic gene by virtue of sitting in a chair. It was a busy day by anyone’s standard without being issued an invitation to go to another galaxy in search of the lost city of Atlantis.

Damn it. Jack was going to have to apologise and…

‘You’re asking me to give up the sky.’

Jack shifted to look at Sheppard. Flying had eased some of the tension out of the pilot’s shoulders and face.

‘I’m not sure I can do that, sir.’ Sheppard said quietly.

Sincerely, Jack realised. He recalled Sheppard’s record that Dixon forwarded to him with a plea to hire the guy. And he remembered that while Sheppard had spent time in Special Forces, he’d been foremost a pilot; sent in to insert or extract teams on the ground, not leading them in like Jack had done in his time. No wonder the kid hadn’t hustled to join the expedition.

Jack considered his words carefully. ‘If I said to you that you could save everyone on Earth, save them from becoming slaves to an alien race, but the singular price for that was your life, what would you do?’

Sheppard moved in his seat – not a squirm so much as a change of position. Jack was impressed that the helicopter remained steady.

‘And you don’t need to answer that,’ Jack continued, ‘because I’ve seen your record and I know the answer doesn’t change just because the numbers do. If you’re prepared to die to save one life, you’re prepared to die to save an entire world, no particular thought involved.’

Sheppard shot him an inquiring look that Jack ignored because, maybe, those words had been a little too revealing about Jack’s own past.

‘But here’s the same question again,’ Jack said, ‘safety of everyone on Earth, making sure they’re not slaves,’ he gestured an etcetera, ‘but this time the price is that you never fly again, would never step foot in a single plane or helicopter for the rest of your life…what would you do now?’

He could hear Sheppard’s sharp intake of breath through the headphones.

‘When you put it like that, it doesn’t seem like there’s much of a choice.’ Sheppard admitted unhappily.

‘Well, lucky for you, that’s not exactly what you’re faced with here.’ Jack replied honestly. He repositioned himself again, trying to get a better look at Sheppard’s face. ‘Doctor Weir wants you for the expedition…’

‘Because I have this mutant gene.’ Sheppard said dryly.

‘Because you have a natural ability to use Ancient technology that we haven’t seen in anyone else.’ Jack corrected brusquely. Even he didn’t have the same intuitive skill to use the technology Sheppard seemed to have. ‘This expedition, if it goes ahead and if we find the city abandoned and not filled with Ancients, is likely to need that. You could be the difference between them surviving and not.’

‘There’s nobody else?’ Sheppard asked with disbelief. ‘What about the guy who shot the drone thing at us? Beckett?’

‘He’s a scientist.’ Jack said in a tone he’d once used to describe Daniel; to explain why he hadn’t wanted Carter assigned to the team going back to Abydos. ‘Look, you and I both know you don’t put a guy who’s having lessons in learning how to fly a hobby plane in the cockpit of a F16 and expect him to fly it into battle.’

Sheppard glanced over at him but Jack couldn’t see past the aviator sunglasses to the eyes behind. Sheppard turned back to the sky. ‘I can’t be the only one with a military skillset who has the gene.’

‘You’re the only one with a military skillset with the gene who can fly a F16.’ Jack responded, wondering whether keeping the flight analogy going was worth it or not.

‘Literally or metaphorically, sir?’ Sheppard shot back.

Yep, definitely not worth keeping the flight analogy going.

‘Metaphorically, although in terms of the expedition itself; both.’ He fidgeted with the zipper on his jacket.

‘What would I even do apart from, you know, switch stuff on?’ Sheppard blurted out.

It was a good question. Probably not one that even Elizabeth had properly thought through. Certainly it wasn’t something Jack had thought through because it wasn’t enough, was it? Asking someone to step through the wormhole to another galaxy just to play a light switch? Jack grimaced. He knew he’d have issues with it if it were him.

‘You’d have to discuss that with Weir.’ Jack said diplomatically. ‘But I can promise that if you found space capable craft, you’d be the one flying them; the rest of the military personnel are Marine.’

‘Spaceships, huh?’ Sheppard said.

‘Maybe, we don’t know.’ Jack shrugged. ‘There’s always the city; apparently it flies.’ See, he thought hard at Sheppard, we’re not really asking you to give up the sky; not really.

Sheppard angled the helicopter over a ridge. ‘I thought that McKay guy was having me on about that.’

Jack had thought the same when Daniel had said it.

‘You said the rest of the expedition force is Marine?’ Sheppard changed the subject again. ‘How would I…fit in with the COC?’

‘Badly.’ Jack admitted. He had a feeling that Weir hadn’t even discussed Sheppard with Sumner who was Stateside for a week making team selections for the possible expedition, and knowing Sumner, he was going to be less than impressed with Sheppard’s record on obeying orders. ‘And yes, your CO is a Marine and will probably hate you.’

‘Well, I’m sold then.’

‘Really?’ Jack blurted.

‘No.’

Sheppard sent him a look of complete disbelief that Jack hadn’t recognised the dry sarcasm in his voice and Jack couldn’t blame him.

‘Sir.’ Sheppard suddenly motioned with his head towards the left. ‘If you want to take a look, you’ll see the sunset over there.’

It was a beautiful sight, Jack allowed. The golden disc of the sun slipped down along a horizon of ice, colours bleeding all over the white surface turning it into an abstract painting. The silence was punctuated by the beat of the rotors and Jack could almost understand why Sheppard liked Antarctica; the stillness, the vast landscape that swallowed up dreams and nightmares both, and left behind a sense of peace.

He’d felt the same way standing on the sands of Abydos; gold dust as far as the eye could see, the sun hot through the t-shirt sticking to his back. He felt a pang of regret that Abydos was gone; existing only on another plane of existence because Anubis had destroyed it just because he could.

He thought again of Sheppard’s record; the loss of his Special Forces team and the shrink’s view that Sheppard’s last show of disobedience in rescuing three servicemen was an attempt at redemption. He wondered if Antarctica had healed Sheppard the way Abydos had healed him; if Sheppard needed to find something he wanted to live for, the way Jack had done when he’d gone to Abydos; when he’d accepted the second chance Hammond had given him…

Sheppard’s voice interrupted his train of thinking; he was contacting McMurdo confirming approach and ETA.

They were almost back, Jack realised, the concrete blocks of the settlement coming into view ahead of them. He recalled the ultimatum he’d given Sheppard and winced again.

He cleared his throat. ‘Your transfer to my command is already in motion, Sheppard.’ He felt Sheppard tense beside him. ‘I might have lied before.’ He said awkwardly. ‘Dixon wanted you before Weir did because in his words ‘you’re the best damn pilot he’s ever flown with;’ why else do you think I was questioning you on our way out? And I might want you for the same reason.’ He waited a beat. ‘You did save my life back there.’ He motioned behind him. ‘With the drone.’

Sheppard glanced his way.

‘And because I might, maybe, possibly owe you one for that; you can have the time you need to make a decision.’ Jack conceded.

Sheppard nodded, but Jack could see the line of his jaw was tight. ‘Thank you, sir.’

‘Don’t thank me yet.’ Jack cautioned him. ‘If you decide against the expedition, you’ll be in our 302 programme but you’d probably still be expected to turn stuff on when needed.’ Sheppard would definitely be expected to sit in the chair if there was an attack if he stayed; in fact that ability of his might actually block any assignment to the expedition if the Pentagon believed Sheppard was critical to Earth’s defence.

Jack fell silent as Sheppard contacted McMurdo again for permission to land. He kept silent while Sheppard set the helicopter down on the helipad and turned the engines off; as they both removed their headgear. Neither he nor Jack made a move to get out though.

‘This expedition…’ Sheppard began tentatively, taking his glasses off. ‘Doctor Weir said we were going for peaceful exploration and…’

‘Let me guess; learning about life, humanity and the meaning of the universe?’ Jack let his lips quirk briefly into a smirk. He removed his own glasses and for the first time since they had begun their discussion, he looked Sheppard in the eye.

The younger officer gazed back at him with a sobriety that surprised Jack given Sheppard’s innate cockiness.

‘Something like that.’ Sheppard murmured. ‘What’s the real reason?’

Jack nodded slowly in approval. The file had indicated Sheppard had above average intelligence. ‘Did someone explain about the Goa’uld? About Anubis?’

‘He’s the alien who attacked us.’ Sheppard answered. ‘The one you stopped by using the chair and the drones.’

‘He’s not like the rest of the Goa’uld. He’s transformed into something else.’ Jack grimaced as he said the words.

‘OK,’ Sheppard said slowly, ‘so he’s evolved or mutated or something?’

‘Kind of.’ Jack agreed. The light was almost gone; the cockpit was in shadow and Jack could see the hovering ground crew waiting a safe distance away. ‘Anyway, long story short is that he’s still around; Earth is still facing a significant threat and…’

‘And this Ancient city might hold more weapons that we can use against him and the other Goa’uld.’ Sheppard completed.

‘Yes.’ Jack said. ‘That’s the military objective to the mission.’ And he should have known Elizabeth wouldn’t have thought to have taken Sheppard through it.

It was the reason why despite Jack’s misgivings he believed the Pentagon, the President and the IOC would overrule him on the usage of the ZPM especially as Carter had made a case for being able to power the chair with a souped-up naquadah generator she was busily creating. They had to find another way to fight Anubis and Atlantis was their best chance.

‘So this isn’t a one-way trip?’ Sheppard asked bluntly. ‘Because when Doctor Weir was talking to me, it sounded like a one-way trip.’

‘It’s not a suicide mission.’ Jack confirmed, answering Sheppard’s implicit question. ‘If you guys get to Atlantis and can’t get back, we’ll be looking for another ZPM here; you’ll be looking for one there. If that doesn’t work out there’s always hitching a lift with our alien friends or using our own spacecraft to reach the expedition.’ He held Sheppard’s gaze tightly. ‘I’m not saying there isn’t a risk that you’ll be stranded for a while, maybe for more time than we’d like, but we’re not in the business of leaving our people behind.’

Sheppard let out a small huff of breath; took another one. His eyes were steady on Jack’s. ‘I don’t need the extra time, sir. I can give you my answer now.’

Jack smiled as he read it in Sheppard’s face. Yeah, risk your own life to save one person or to save the whole damn world: the answer didn’t change.

o-O-o

Teal’c navigated around a group of babbling scientists and picked up a tray. He wandered down the line choosing his food selection and frowning slightly when informed his favourite was no longer available. It was not the fault of the server, Teal’c reminded himself; the SGC was almost overrun with the Atlantis expedition. He chose something else. The fruit selection hadn’t been restocked and only bananas remained. He picked up the bunch and placed it on his tray. A young woman wearing the Atlantis kit behind him glared but Teal’c ignored her. He let the clerk register his meal and walked into the crowded mess.

Teal’c glowered at the Marines sitting at SG1’s usual table until he realised Nyan was waving from a table at the back. He walked swiftly over to join his Bedrosian friend; one of the first aliens they had met through the Stargate to settle on Earth beside himself and Cassandra Fraiser.

Nyan smiled a welcome at him. ‘It’s busy with the expedition here, isn’t it?’ He glanced around the room. ‘When are they leaving?’

There was a note of desperation that crept through Nyan’s voice despite the smile that remained on his face.

‘The expedition is not due to leave until tomorrow.’ Teal’c said, careful to keep his own dismay from colouring his voice.

Nyan carefully cut into his fish. ‘They were out of the turkey.’

‘Corporal Smithen informed me.’ Teal’c had chosen the vegetarian option instead. He sometimes found fish too metallic for his taste. The vegetable chilli with tortilla chips was a sad substitute for roast turkey.

‘There is a rumour that Daniel will be going with the expedition.’ Nyan leaned across the table, his eyes wide with the glee of gossiping.

Teal’c’s eyebrows rose although it was not the first time that he had heard that particular theory. ‘He will not.’

‘I guess the General will not allow it?’ Nyan asked, nodding as though to answer his own question.

‘Daniel Jackson appreciates that until a sustained method of transport is available between Earth and Atlantis, he is required here.’ Teal’c said. However, he suspected as much as his team-mate appreciated the need for him to remain behind as the expert on the Ancients and Anubis, he also would have preferred to have gone to Atlantis. He also suspected their team leader, Samantha Carter, was aware of Daniel’s preference and that it was something that she was trying to ignore.

‘I might go myself if there was a way to return,’ Nyan confessed with a wry smile, ‘I don’t believe I’m brave enough to go with no guarantee of return.’

‘You are one of the bravest people I know.’ Teal’c said with blunt honesty. His friend had stood beside him and helped him within a few hours of knowing him; had come with them back to Earth with no hope of returning to his homeworld. ‘However, I am glad you are remaining on Earth.’

Nyan beamed at him. ‘I am glad you are remaining here also, Teal’c.’ He sighed suddenly. ‘I very much miss Jonas.’

Teal’c missed Jonas Quinn too. Their Kelownan friend was no longer allowed to travel to Earth from Langara. They exchanged emails and messages during the brief moments a wormhole was open between the two worlds – Earth had resumed its discussions with Langara for naquadria supply – but it was not the same. ‘I too miss our friend.’

‘How are you enjoying living off base?’ Nyan asked, changing the subject.

Teal’c inclined his head. ‘Cassandra and her friends assisted me last weekend with painting my bedroom.’ It had been a messy but enjoyable experience. ‘I miss my room here but it is enlightening living among the Tau’ri.’

‘Is it different to how you expected it to be?’ Nyan asked, finishing his fish and pushing his empty plate away. He reached for a glass of orange juice.

‘It is.’ Teal’c said, almost surprised at his answer. He had experienced living off base as a visitor to his team-mates’ homes. During the weeks after Janet Fraiser’s unfortunate demise, he and the rest of SG1 had lived in her house with Cassandra for a time. But those experiences were not the same as having his own place on Earth; one that he could decorate as he chose, one that would be a sanctuary for him.

Moreover, it had not prepared him for casual encounters with humans as much as he had hoped. He still floundered a little without his team-mates around to smooth the way and translate the differences between their two worlds. Perhaps he would have done worse if he’d moved out of the SGC the first year of his stay on Earth; at least he had seven years of learning the culture that enabled him to avoid most errors.

They spent the remainder of their lunch discussing a new movie they both wished to see and Teal’c planned their trip to the movie theatre with great anticipation. He had been before but not just himself and Nyan; there had always been someone else along with them acting as a chaperone.

Teal’c excused himself and determined he should check in with his team-mates to ensure they had eaten. He made his way first to Daniel Jackson’s office. The archaeologist was immersed at his whiteboard checking over a translation of Ancient that was beyond Teal’c’s understanding.

‘Daniel Jackson.’ Teal’c called out to get his attention before moving to stand beside him. ‘Have you eaten?’

‘Hmmm?’ Daniel turned and blinked at him heavily. ‘Yes? There was a sandwich, I think.’ He waved a hand absently behind him. There was a wrapper on the table, Teal’c noted. There was also an apple.

Teal’c handed it to him.

‘Oh, great. Thanks.’ Daniel bit in with a crisp snick. He motioned towards the whiteboard. ‘This is fascinating. We recovered it from the part of the same part of the database Sam and I managed to get the location from. It’s Aiyana’s journal.’

She was the Ancient that had been recovered from the ice and who had healed SG1 when they had fallen sick, Teal’c recalled. Daniel Jackson had not been present; he had been Ascended at the time.

‘I would like to read it when you have completed the translation.’ Teal’c requested.

Daniel nodded and swallowed some apple. ‘She talks about Atlantis and…’

‘You wish to go there.’ Teal’c stated baldly, placing his hands behind his back.

He watched as Daniel froze briefly before subsiding onto a nearby stool.

‘Sometimes I think I do, and sometimes…’ Daniel turned the apple in his hand. ‘Sometimes I remember that the last time I thought I could do more being somewhere else, I got Abydos destroyed.’

‘It was not your fault, Daniel Jackson.’ Teal’c said softly.

‘We don’t know that for certain, Teal’c.’ Daniel replied. ‘All we know is that Ascended me told Jack to give him the Eye of Ra and then failed to protect Abydos.’

Teal’c placed a hand on Daniel’s shoulder. ‘I believe that you did all you could.’

Daniel smiled sadly. ‘I hope you’re right, Teal’c.’ He gestured with his apple back to the whiteboard. ‘I’m going to continue with this. I want to get as much done as possible to see if there’s anything there to help the expedition before they go.’

‘I will check on Colonel Carter.’ Teal’c said.

The walk to the lab was a familiar one. Teal’c paused in the doorway, surprised to find his team-mate on her computer with O’Neill sat at the end of her central bench doing paperwork. The remnants of a shared lunch could be seen in discarded trays on a side bench.

‘O’Neill.’ Teal’c said walking in.

‘Teal’c.’ Jack looked up from his folders. ‘Where were you? You missed lunch.’

‘Indeed I did not.’ Teal’c said. ‘I had lunch with Nyan.’

‘Ah.’ Jack said with understanding.

Teal’c sent a questioning look toward Colonel Carter, wondering why O’Neill was using her lab rather than his own office.

‘He’s hiding.’ Sam explained, amusement lightening her expression and making her eyes twinkle as she grinned conspiratorially at Teal’c.

‘I am not hiding.’ Jack protested.

Teal’c raised an eyebrow at him.

Jack sighed heavily. ‘OK, I’m hiding. Do you know how many meetings I’ve had to endure about the expedition since they arrived on base yesterday?’

‘I assume one too many as you are now hiding.’ Teal’c said dryly. It did not surprise him at all that it was the Colonel’s lab O’Neill had chosen as sanctuary. O’Neill had missed their team-mates during their assignment in Antarctica.

‘Exactly.’ Jack replied. ‘You know this expedition should have had more time to pull itself together.’ He rubbed at his eyes. ‘I don’t know why I agreed to it.’

‘You didn’t, sir.’ Sam corrected him. ‘You were overruled by the IOC and the President.’

‘That’s right, I was.’ Jack grimaced.

Before anyone could say anything else, Rodney McKay entered waving a handful of printed paper.

‘I’m telling you these calculations for the power we need aren’t right!’ Rodney shouted, striding straight towards Sam. ‘Kavanaugh can’t add up to save his life and…’

Sam rolled her eyes already sliding off her stool. ‘So why did you gave it to him in the first place. Why don’t we take this somewhere where we won’t disturb the General?’

Rodney blanched and clutched his papers tightly to him as he noticed Jack and Teal’c’s presence for the first time since he’d stormed in. ‘Ah, hello?’

‘Don’t mind us.’ Jack said breezily.

Sam ushered Rodney out.

‘I don’t think that guy’s slept for more than an hour for the last month trying to get everything done.’ Jack mused. ‘Somebody needs to lock him in a room to get some sleep. I’d feel sorry for him if he wasn’t, you know…McKay.’

‘Indeed.’ Teal’c agreed.

‘But you know what the worse thing is? He’s totally going to blow my cover on where I am.’ Jack sighed. He chucked his pen down. ‘I should go hide out in Daniel’s office before anyone finds me.’

The sudden approach of more rapid footsteps had Teal’c once again turning to the door in concern.

Marshall Sumner paused in the doorway and glared at Jack. ‘Do you have a moment, General?’

Jack shot Teal’c a look which said ‘see!’ and waved the Colonel in. ‘What’s on your mind?’

Sumner slapped down a piece of paper on the desk. ‘John Sheppard.’

Teal’c saw O’Neill’s face close up. The General straightened on the stool automatically.

‘And?’ Jack made a get-on-with-it gesture.

‘You can’t be serious, Jack!’

‘I think you mean ‘you can’t be serious, General!” Jack replied mildly. Sumner snapped to a stiff pose quickly. ‘And for the record: you knew the Major’s assignment to the expedition was in the works.’

‘General,’ Sumner emphasised the rank a little, ‘until today, when his assignment was apparently approved, I didn’t have authority to access to his file.’ He stabbed a finger at the paper on the desk. ‘Now I do, I find he has a record of disobeying orders culminating in a court martial and…’

‘And saving the lives of three servicemen.’ Jack stated loudly.

Sumner glowered at Jack.

Jack stared back at him not intimidated at all. ‘Sumner, right at this moment? John Sheppard is the single most valuable military asset in this galaxy.’ He held up a hand when Sumner went to interrupt. ‘You and I both know the reason why his orders weren’t confirmed until today was because the Pentagon has spent the last month arguing over where to deploy him. You want to know what swung the vote to the expedition?’ He leaned forward, clasping his hands on top of the table. ‘The fact that yesterday the Asgard confirmed that they think I can use the chair here without it killing me.’

‘With respect, General, I haven’t even met him because the Air Force insisted on putting him on leave instead of allowing him to join the expedition’s preparatory activities.’ Sumner pointed out, shifting position to rest ‘at ease.’

‘I know,’ Jack said wincing, ‘and that’s unfortunate. But until his orders were cut, the Pentagon didn’t want to make an assumption over where he would end up, hence the mandatory leave so nobody could claim favouritism. Believe me, if I’d had a choice he would have been put through more of our usual training regime before going anywhere near the Stargate and the expedition.’

‘He’s going to screw up my chain of command.’ Sumner stated brusquely.

Teal’c believed that Sumner hadn’t even realised he was in the room.

Jack shook his head. ‘His orders place him under Doctor Weir’s jurisdiction and he’ll assume piloting duties if you find flight capable craft out there.’ He tapped the bench with a finger. ‘The exceptions to that are situations where you have had to take command of the expedition for military reasons; battle with aliens, invasions, the usual. And in the hopefully unlikely event of you being MIA, KIA, whatever, Sheppard will assume command in your absence as the most senior officer of rank.’ He paused. ‘Mostly, you’ll be the signature on his evals as the most senior military officer on the expedition.’ He gestured briskly. ‘I’m sure you, Sheppard and Elizabeth can work it out.’

‘When’s he due to report?’ Sumner said with the tone of a man that said he knew he had no choice and didn’t like it.

‘Oh-seven-hundred tomorrow, which yes, I know is only a couple of hours before you guys are scheduled to bug out.’ Jack said. ‘Look, you did also notice that Sheppard’s got medals for bravery and outstanding valour up the wazoo? That he’s Special Forces trained and an outstanding pilot? He could be a huge asset to you out there and not just because he has a freaky ability with Ancient tech.’

Sumner sighed. ‘You hate people not following orders in the field just as much as I do.’

‘I do,’ Jack allowed, ‘and I’m going to bet right now that he’s going to disobey orders at some point,’ he held up his hand to stop Sumner from interrupting, ‘and I’m also going to bet that he’ll do something stupidly heroic that saves all of your asses.’ He waited for that to sink in before he continued. ‘Give the kid a break, Marshall. You might not have a choice about taking him but he didn’t get much of a choice about having a magic gene.’

Sumner looked as though he wanted to sigh or punch something. ‘With your permission.’

Jack nodded towards the door. ‘Dismissed.’

Teal’c waited until Sumner had left and his footsteps had faded away. ‘I believe I am looking forward to meeting Major Sheppard.’

He let a small smile touch his lips as Jack laughed.

‘I think if one of them doesn’t kill the other before the end of the first day it’ll be a miracle.’ Jack joked. He motioned at the paperwork in front of him. ‘Help me with this, would you?’

‘May I suggest my old room?’ Teal’c said. ‘I have noticed Doctor Weir often checks on Daniel Jackson’s translation progress.’

Jack beamed at him. ‘You have the best ideas, T.’

Teal’c stepped forward to help his friend. He believed he was not the only one who would be pleased when the expedition departed the SGC.

Part 3: Rise and Fall

John couldn’t help the nerves that rattled through him as he stepped into the second elevator. The Airman escorting him looked perfectly serene despite the crush of people that got on and off as they made their way down to the lower levels.

It was John’s first time in the Cheyenne complex. Mostly he couldn’t believe he’d spent the last three weeks in limbo while the Pentagon determined whether to keep him on Earth or send him with the expedition. He’d kind of thought that having agreed to go, he’d go. He’d received confirmation of his transfer to the Stargate programme and arrived back in the States for training only to be told by the General that there was a debate about John’s exact deployment because of his mutant gene and he was on leave until further notice. John might have known military bureaucracy wouldn’t make his transfer that easy.

He’d enjoyed the brief time he’d spent in Antarctica with the project. He’d spent a lot of time working with the scientists initialising Ancient tech and in the chair. The chair itself was a head-rush; the physical adrenaline burst of flying combined with a peaceful mental head-space that reminded him of sitting on top of a Ferris wheel; there had been a sense of rightness once he’d gotten over the terror of having so much power at his fingertips and something whispering in the back of his head to take it. He could have stayed in the chair for the rest of his life and been happy.

The scientists were a mixed bunch; Colonel Carter seemed the most sane and approachable although he understood from what he’d picked up from others she was the leader of the premier Stargate team and wouldn’t be on the expedition. It was a pity but the CSO, McKay, definitely knew his stuff and John mostly found his loud berating of his fellow scientists amusing in a I-can’t-believe-you-really-said-that-out-loud-even-if-it-was-true way. Working with him was going to be a challenge but John figured it was mostly going to be a fun challenge. He’d also agreed to allow his genome be used for gene therapy so he’d spent some time with the geneticist Beckett. He seemed like a nice guy; someone John hoped would be on the expedition.

He hadn’t met many of the military members of the expedition beyond a young Lieutenant called Ford. It wasn’t surprising. The military CO had been Stateside while John had been in Antarctica and then there had been the surprise vacation. John wished he could have met the guy before the day the expedition was scheduled to leave.

He repressed the urge to tug on his tie and focused on the floor counter. He was proud to wear them but he hated his service blues; he always felt too restricted in them; too buttoned down. He wondered if his duffle which he’d handed over to another Airman would find its way to the Pegasus galaxy or whether he’d be left without clean underwear.

He’d spent his vacation mostly on the West coast; as far away from his family he could get without leaving mainland America. He’d debated calling his brother; flipping a coin so many times he’d lost count. He’d debated calling his father but it had taken one coin flip to tell him that he didn’t want to; was still too hurt and angry to have that conversation.

It wasn’t a suicide mission, John reminded himself. He was coming back. It wasn’t as though this was going to be his last opportunity to see them, and he didn’t want to see them after what had happened the last time they had spoken; the angry words, how his father had blamed him for…John pushed the memory aside. He had to focus on the mission and he couldn’t do that with his personal crap in his head. He’d told his father and his brother that they wouldn’t see or hear from him again and he’d meant it. They certainly hadn’t been in touch with him since. Maybe it would be better if he acted as though he didn’t have family going forward. He took a steadying breath and followed the Airman off the elevator to the General’s office.

O’Neill was on the phone but he waved John inside and dismissed the Airman efficiently with another gesture. The office was smaller than John had imagined for the guy leading Earth’s forces against an invading alien enemy; almost cramped. Pictures of the General’s time in service decorated the walls along with his educational diplomas. There was a dresser behind the General’s desk; a comfortable leather chair, a couple of visitors chairs. There was also an internal window through to a briefing room which looked as though it had been converted into a mission control; computers everywhere with the room overcrowded with people.

The sound of the phone settling back into its cradle had John turning smartly back to face the General and correcting his posture. ‘Major Sheppard reporting for duty, sir.’

‘At ease.’ O’Neill sat down with a bounce and pointed at a visitor chair; John sat. ‘Firstly, apologies for the short notice recalling you and for the long wait you had for the final decision. This isn’t ideal.’

No kidding, thought John. He’d spent three weeks surfing and fiddling his thumbs waiting on them making a decision instead of preparing for what was the most unusual and possibly the most important mission of his life.

‘But you’re smart and you’re quick,’ O’Neill smirked, ‘I have every confidence that you’ll catch up. And while we’re not in the habit of sending people through the Stargate with no training these days…my team did it and survived.’

‘That’s very reassuring, sir.’ John said dryly.

O’Neill’s smirk grew. ‘Yes, I’m sure it is.’ He glanced up at a knock on the open door.

John followed his gaze and took in the sight of Doctor Weir in a cherry red top and a man in Marine BDUs wearing a glower on his face. His new CO, John thought with a sinking heart. He got to his feet and made sure to keep his posture parade perfect as O’Neill gestured for them to enter.

Weir held out her hand. ‘Major Sheppard.’ She smiled at him brightly. ‘It’s good to see you again. I can’t tell you how happy I am that you’ll be coming with us.’

John returned her smile and handshake a little hesitantly. ‘Uh, thank you, ma’am.’ He nodded an acknowledgement at the Colonel standing beside her. ‘Sir.’

‘Major John Sheppard, Colonel Marshall Sumner.’ O’Neill motioned between them. ‘Marshall, Major Sheppard.’

Sumner offered his hand and John took it. The contact was brief and brisk. Sumner’s eyes skated over John’s medals and widened a little. He hates me, John determined, and doesn’t believe I earned them. It wasn’t a surprise. Most of his COs hated him after reading his record.

‘I’d like to sit down and hammer out the details of the assignment since Major Sheppard will be working for me.’ Weir stared at Sumner pointedly.

‘I would agree since there are military exceptions to that assignment.’ Sumner replied with a calmness that belied the tension in his face. ‘But we really don’t have time for that today.’

Great; power struggles already, John mused silently. He shot O’Neill a look to see if the General had noticed. O’Neill met his gaze with a healthy dose of amusement so yes, he knew and he knew exactly how awkward it was going to make John’s life. John would be irked but he guessed he had O’Neill to thank for the exception that he’d noted in his orders which said his primary duty would be piloting if they found flight capable spacecraft.

‘Well, we’ll have to discuss this on the other side.’ Weir said brightly. There was a touch of steel in her tone that John had heard before in Antarctica.

‘If we get to the other side.’ Sumner countered.

‘I guess I’ll have to be the optimist in our team, Colonel.’ Weir returned. She turned back to John. ‘Did you at least get to enjoy your leave?’

John could see Sumner’s disgust that John had been on leave out of the corner of his eye. He stiffened because the Colonel couldn’t think John had been happy about it, could he? Or maybe he was just inclined to think the worst of John. Well, so be it.

John smirked deliberately. ‘I did a lot of surfing.’ He’d also read the stuff O’Neill had sent him and completed the personal preparations he’d needed to do in the hope he would be joining the expedition but Sumner didn’t need to know that.

Sumner didn’t hide his disgust at the word surfing. O’Neill let out a snort behind him. Weir’s lips twitched as though she realised John was deliberately provoking Sumner and was amused by it. She probably was, John realised.

‘Well, leave’s over, Major.’ Sumner said. ‘We don’t have anyone spare to babysit you this morning. I trust you can gear up and get to the gate without someone holding your hand?’

‘I’m sure I’ll manage, sir.’ John said blandly rather than rise to the baiting.

‘You’ll need to stop by the infirmary and have a full physical too.’ O’Neill said cheerfully. ‘I think they want more of your blood before you leave in case we need to clone you.’

John’s eyebrows shot up. Clone?

‘Don’t worry, just joking.’ O’Neill assured him. ‘Kind of.’ He took in their small group in one glance. ‘So I suppose I should say something inspirational but as I haven’t had coffee yet, maybe we can all just get back to work?’

Weir smiled somewhat fondly at O’Neill. ‘An excellent idea, General.’

Sumner nodded an acceptance. ‘General.’ He darted another dark look at John and made his escape.

‘I can show you the way to the infirmary, Major.’ Weir offered, motioning towards the open door.

‘I’ll take him. I haven’t finished with him yet.’ O’Neill said, stopping John from taking the step he’d been about to take towards her.

Weir nodded briskly although another unhappy look slid across her face before she replaced it with a more diplomatic smile. ‘Of course. I’ll see you in the gate room, Major.’ She stepped backwards and disappeared.

John focused on O’Neill.

‘Surfing?’ O’Neill repeated dryly, one scarred eyebrow rising.

‘Waves were great, sir.’ John replied evenly.

‘You’re not going to make this easy on yourself, are you, Sheppard?’ O’Neill got to his feet. ‘Come on. Sumner was right about there not being a lot of people around to help you navigate the SGC today – we pretty much told anyone who wasn’t needed to be here not to be here.’ He sighed as he led the way from his office back to the elevator. ‘Unfortunately, it turns out being a General means I’m needed.’

John smiled. He liked O’Neill. He wished O’Neill was coming with them instead of Sumner.

The elevator was surprisingly empty. John followed the General in and watched which floor he chose.

O’Neill pushed his hands into his pants pockets. ‘For what’s worth I will say that I think they’re going to need you.’ He looked at John seriously for a long moment. ‘But you’re not going to be able to save everybody, Sheppard.’

‘I can try, sir.’ The words slipped out before John could stop them.

O’Neill smiled knowingly. ‘And that’s why they need you.’

O’Neill got out of the elevator and John followed him down another corridor. He pointed at the door. ‘Doctor’s through that door. I’ll get somebody to bring your gear up. I have to check on Carter and make sure she hasn’t killed Siler or McKay for messing around with her gate.’ He patted Sheppard’s shoulder as he took a step back. ‘My sage advice for what it’s worth: trust your scientists. They’ll be the ones who save your ass most of the time. Good luck, Sheppard.’

‘Yes, sir.’ John made a half-hearted effort to get into an ‘at attention’ pose as O’Neill sauntered away. As soon as O’Neill turned the corner, John immediately dropped the tension out of his frame and stared around at the concrete walls.

What was he doing? Aliens? Spacecraft? An expedition to another galaxy and the lost city of Atlantis? A military leader who hated him and who already had a serious power struggle going on with the civilian leader who John effectively reported to? This was going to be a disaster.

‘Good going, John.’ He berated himself quietly.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. OK, OK. He could do this. He’d out-flown an alien drone thing. He’d sat in a chair and conjured a solar system out of thin air. He had a mutant gene. He could step into a wormhole and explore a lost city in another galaxy. He opened his eyes again. It was time to leave his past behind and start his future.

o-O-o

Daniel sat in front of the whiteboard and stared at the text unseeingly. The Atlantis expedition had left hours before; left without him. The video images from the MALP had been fascinating showing an architecture that was startling and grand. It had looked like there were no Ancients in residence but they hadn’t really expected to find any; all the preparations had assumed the city would be abandoned.

He wondered what the expedition was doing; how they were feeling. They hadn’t made the contact time if they had been able to connect back to Earth so the prevailing theory was that the city must have lacked the necessary ZPM required for the dial up.

The expedition was stranded a galaxy away from home on an alien planet in an Ancient city.

The want – the need – to be there spiked through him sharply. He should have – what? Abandoned his team? Run through the Stargate behind the expedition with only the clothes on his back?

Daniel took off his glasses and pinched the brow of his nose. It had been a long couple of months. The weeks in Antarctica had produced the location of Atlantis but it hadn’t been as productive in providing an answer to their Anubis problem. The project had unearthed a stash of drones but no other weapons; nothing else to help them.

Nothing.

It felt very much like failure.

There was something about Anubis – something that hovered at the back of his mind – some memory that nagged at him. It was like an itch in the middle of his back. No matter how much he squirmed and contorted to reach it, he couldn’t. But Daniel was certain that it had something to do with when he’d been Ascended. Probably something to do with what had happened at Abydos with the Eye of Ra and the stupid, stupid deal Ascended him had apparently made to give Anubis the Eye.

Stupid.

But whatever it was, it was driving this need to defeat Anubis; to eradicate him from existence. The depth of that need scared him. He wasn’t a pacifist. In the face of Ra he had encouraged the Abydonians to take up arms even the children; he’d hated Apophis for stealing his wife and hadn’t been inclined to mercy; he genuinely believed that the Goa’uld as a species were nothing more than parasites who stole the lives of others and didn’t deserve to live. But he didn’t like violence. He preferred to talk his way out of trouble; preferred debate to solving things with fists and guns. It worried him that he could want someone, some living creature even one as vile as Anubis, dead that much.

So: failure. He hadn’t discovered what he’d needed to in Antarctica and he hadn’t gone to Atlantis to find it.

Sam appeared suddenly in his eye-line. She was dressed to leave in civilian clothing of a leather jacket over well-worn jeans and a blue sweater that Daniel knew Cassie had bought for her.

‘Hey,’ Sam said waving to recapture his attention from her sweater, ‘are you OK?’ Her blue eyes were brimming over with concern.

‘Yes.’ Daniel shook his head. ‘No. I don’t know.’ He folded his arms over his chest and shrugged, dredging up a smile. ‘I’m still here.’

Sam hovered for a moment and took the stool beside him with a sigh. ‘You know I was going to talk to you about this in Antarctica and I chickened out.’

Daniel shifted to look at her, confused. ‘What?’

‘You wanted to go to Atlantis.’

‘Yes.’ Daniel agreed. He wanted to go to Atlantis; he’d never hidden that he wanted to go to Atlantis.

‘Are you…’ Sam worried at her lip and sighed again. ‘Are you unhappy?’

‘Unhappy?’ Daniel repeated, blinking at her. Maybe he was more tired than he thought. ‘Why would you think I was unhappy?’

‘I don’t know,’ Sam said slowly, ‘maybe because you want to leave and be somewhere else?’

He really was stupid.

‘I promised myself when you came back that if you…if I thought you…’ Sam stumbled through her words. ‘I promised I’d talk to you if you were unhappy.’

Daniel turned to her hurriedly. ‘I’m not unhappy, Sam.’ He took her hand and tangled their fingers together. ‘I’m not unhappy; I swear that…this is not that. I promise.’

Sam squeezed his fingers gently as she searched his expression. ‘OK. So do you want to tell me what it is if it isn’t that?’

He gave a snort. ‘I’m not sure I know.’ He sighed as he searched for the words to explain. ‘I just have this deep down gut feeling that the Ancients knew the answer to defeating Anubis; that the answer is in Atlantis.’

Sam’s gaze sharpened. ‘Is this like when you knew about Bra’tac and Rya’c being in trouble?’

‘Not exactly,’ Daniel said, ‘I’m not getting visions or anything. It’s just…just a feeling.’ He shrugged again, unable to explain it further.

‘OK.’ Sam pressed her lips together. He could almost hear her thinking. ‘You know it’s not too surprising.’

‘It isn’t?’ Daniel said surprised. He shifted round to look at her more fully.

Sam shook her head, the blonde strands catching the artificial light and gleaming gold. ‘On Abydos, when we had the Eye and you appeared to us, you were absolutely convinced that the lost city on the tablet was the answer to stopping Anubis.’

‘I was?’ Daniel frowned. He’d heard about what had happened; had read the reports; had been told. But it was the first time someone had mentioned his certainty.

‘Maybe,’ Sam began tentatively, ‘maybe your need to go to Atlantis is your subconscious trying to remind you of that.’

Daniel’s fingers tightened on hers for a moment. ‘Maybe.’ He conceded. He breathed in deeply; taking in the familiar scent of books; of paper and ink that suffused his office. His eyes caught on his picture of Sha’re. He jerked his gaze away. ‘I know why we weren’t allowed to go, I mean without a guarantee of getting straight back, and I know we’re needed here, but…I just can’t help but wish we’d gone with them.’

‘We?’ Sam asked, starting to smile.

Daniel nodded. ‘What?’ He frowned as something occurred to him. ‘You thought I wanted to go alone?’

Sam raised one elegant eyebrow. ‘Well, Doctor Weir might not have helped by campaigning to have just you join the expedition.’

He flushed. ‘I didn’t mean to…I mean, I’m sorry…’

She waved off his apology. ‘Don’t worry about it.’ She sighed. ‘It’s probably more my problem really.’ She ducked her head. ‘I guess I’ve been feeling a little insecure about the whole leading thing. I mean, I haven’t had the evaluation yet to confirm that I am the leader and…between that and Antarctica and helping the expedition get ready to go we haven’t had much time as a team lately.’

‘I guess not.’ Daniel murmured. He squeezed her fingers again. ‘You know Teal’c and I love having you as our leader, right?’

She blushed even as she rolled her eyes at him. Her gaze suddenly darted to the clock and she winced. ‘I should get going otherwise Pete’s going to think I stood him up again.’

Daniel swallowed down the urge to ask her how it was going with her boyfriend. He nodded and let go of her hand. She hugged him briefly before she slipped off the stool and made to leave.

‘Sam?’ Daniel stopped her just as she reached the open door.

She looked back at him questioningly.

Daniel got off his stool and shoved his hands in his pockets. ‘Is…what you said about my wanting to leave like…like before. Do you think that’s why Jack’s been such an ass about my wanting to go?’

Sam’s expression shifted from inquisitive to thoughtful to rueful. ‘You should probably ask him, Daniel. He headed out about an hour ago.’ She tapped the door jamb lightly and walked away.

Daniel grimaced. Talk to Jack. Right, because that was always easy. He sighed and his eyes drifted again to the whiteboard. Maybe he should email Aiyana’s journal to Jonas the next time the wormhole was up between Langara and Earth. Jonas had a good grasp of Ancient and he had known Aiyana, had spoken with her. Maybe he would find something in the journal that meant something that Daniel had overlooked because he hadn’t been around when they’d met Aiyana.

He hadn’t been around.

Because Daniel had been Ascended; living on another plane of existence that had no interest in getting involved with the lives on the lower planes. Resentment at his Ascended-self surged through him again. He pushed it away and started to pack up.

It was a couple of hours before he found himself outside of Jack’s house, dressed in jeans, a checked shirt and a warm coat. He rapped on the door and waited for Jack to answer.

Jack opened the door, barefoot and similarly dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. There was a beer in the hand not on the door. He beckoned Daniel inside, went to the kitchen and came back with another beer.

Daniel took it and sat down in the chair across from the sofa. The television was playing an old movie, it was on low, the sound barely background noise. Jack sat down on the sofa and put his feet up on the coffee table.

‘Some days,’ Daniel began, ‘some days I see you in Hammond’s office and have to remind myself it’s your office now and that I’m not in another reality.’

Jack tipped the beer towards him. ‘I have to remind myself of the same thing.’

‘Really?’ Daniel glanced over at him, frowning.

‘There’s been a lot of changes in the last couple of months.’ Jack shrugged. ‘It’s going to take some time for them to seem real.’

‘Is that why you didn’t want me going to Atlantis? Another change?’ Daniel asked, forcing himself to ask casually.

‘Bad things happen when you go off on your own, Daniel.’ Jack pointed him. ‘Things like you getting kidnapped and shot at.’

‘Not all the time.’

‘Well, there was that time you saved Kelowna and got a life-threatening amount of radiation.’ Jack retorted sharply.

Daniel leaned forward suddenly, hunching over, his elbows on his knees, the beer dangling between his clasped hands. ‘Maybe you’re right because I went off alone when I Ascended and that obviously ended badly since Anubis destroyed Abydos and all.’

‘I didn’t mean…you have to let that go, Daniel.’ Jack said exasperated. He took his feet off the coffee table and sat up. ‘I figured that was why you wanted to go to Atlantis.’

‘Yeah,’ Daniel took a drink of his beer, ‘I still think the answer is there.’

‘So they’ll find it and bring it back.’ Jack said. ‘Or we’ll go and get it if we don’t hear from them soon enough.’ He shrugged. ‘Either way, you’re needed here more than there, Daniel.’

Daniel nodded, accepting that Jack would never give him another answer.

They both fell silent. Daniel thought about the Atlantis expedition again; their first night in an alien city. He knew how that felt even if it had been a long time since he and Jack had taken that first trip through the wormhole.

‘Do you remember that first night on Abydos?’ Daniel asked eventually.

‘Eating that alien armadillo and you accidentally getting hitched?’ Jack took a gulp of beer. ‘Yeah, I might remember that.’

‘I keep wondering what they’re doing, the expedition, I mean.’ Daniel rested his head back against the cushion behind him and stared up the ceiling. The bottle was cold in his hand.

‘You think they’re eating armadillo and getting hitched?’ Jack tossed back.

Daniel gave an unwilling laugh. ‘God, I hope so.’ His eyes met Jack’s across the den. ‘I wouldn’t change that.’

‘Me either.’ Jack twisted the beer bottle in his hands and looked away. ‘Well,’ he smirked, ‘maybe the armadillo, Chicken Man.’

Daniel laughed.

Jack smiled and raised his beer. ‘To the Atlantis expedition.’

It was a good toast; one that needed to be made. He hoped that the expedition would be OK; that they would have explore and make discoveries; that they would come home. That they would find the answer he couldn’t.

Daniel raised his own beer bottle in reply. ‘To their adventure.’

fin.