Storytime with Rachel F Hundred

‘You can do anything you want, my ass,’ Jack muttered.

He had become the General with his friend’s words, but Jack had already been disillusioned about that several times over after months in the job.  Maybe he hadn’t really believed them, but the futility of them was never more evident than right at that moment as he paused in the doorway of Teal’c’s old quarters and watched his Jaffa friend calmly unpacking his belongings.  It drove home the point that he couldn’t just do what he wanted in a way that made Jack feel old.

‘You may enter, O’Neill.’

Teal’c didn’t pause in his unpacking.  Jack wondered again how many candles a man – Jaffa – could own.

Jack entered and quietly shut the door behind him.  There was rarely foot traffic in the base quarters during that time of the day, but he figured the conversation he wanted to have needed privacy.

‘You know you don’t need to do this,’ Jack said, looking around for a place to sit and finding nowhere flat that wasn’t covered by a box.

‘I am aware,’ Teal’c said.

Jack snorted, rocking back on his heels. 

Teal’c moved a box from the end of the bed and inclined his head at the empty space.

Jack shot him a grateful look and sat down.  ‘If you want to live off base, I will back you.  Colonel Kendrick…’

‘Is not wrong in his assessment,’ Teal’c cut in.  He raised an eyebrow at O’Neill in quiet challenge.  ‘These past few days have proven his case that my living among your people is dangerous.’

‘You don’t have a symbiote and you’d never hurt anyone,’ Jack caught Teal’c’s look, ‘well, anyone who didn’t deserve it.’

‘My presence placed Krista in grave danger,’ Teal’c countered evenly.  ‘It drew the attention of the Trust to her.’

That was true and not something Jack could argue with.

‘You think my presence or Daniel’s or Carter’s doesn’t do the same to the people we know?’ Jack shot back.  ‘You think they’re not watching Carter’s brother or Daniel’s old foster parents in some way?’

Teal’c paused in his packing and conceded the point with a tilt of his head.  ‘It does not change the fact that my presence living among the Tau’ri is disruptive in a way that yours is not.’

‘You could just stop being the friendly neighbourhood Jaffa,’ Jack pointed out.  ‘Or, you could, I don’t know, choose a safer part of the city?’  There was more sarcasm than he’d intended coating the words and he offered an apologetic wince to Teal’c’s hard stare.

‘I have made my decision, O’Neill,’ Teal’c stated firmly.

Decisions.

Jack’s jaw tightened. 

It seemed like everyone was making them…

He determinedly didn’t think about the decision Carter had made and dragged his mind back to Teal’c.

‘If you’d waited until later today, I would have helped you move, Teal’c,’ Jack said, looking about the room and taking in the boxes again.

‘It would have drawn additional attention,’ Teal’c said simply.  ‘It was best that I made my departure insignificant beyond a few goodbyes.’

Jack’s gaze narrowed on Teal’c.  ‘The delightful Ms James, I presume?’

Teal’c lifted another candle onto his shelf.  ‘Among others.’  He stopped and turned to look at Jack fully.  ‘And you, O’Neill, how do you fare?’

Jack’s breath caught at the blunt question.  ‘I’m fine.’

He’d already had Daniel awkwardly turn up at his house the night before with beer and pizza.  Luckily, Daniel was a lightweight and after just one beer had fallen asleep randomly talking about the great love affair of Catherine and Ernest, and how things had worked out in the end.  Jack figured Daniel meant for Jack to parse that into something about his own situation with Carter, but how he had no clue.

He loved his friends, and he was deep down, very deep down, touched by their concern, but all he wanted to do was ignore that Carter had decided to marry Shanahan, and lick his metaphorical wounds in private.

Teal’c continued to look at him with a knowing dark gaze.

Jack felt the weight of everything Teal’c wasn’t saying.  He always did, especially about Carter. 

‘Don’t,’ Jack ordered brusquely. 

Teal’c continued to say nothing.

Jack squirmed anyway, despite the fact that he was a General, that he knew he had Teal’c’s respect as a leader, and his love as a brother.  But Teal’c’s unrelenting gaze reminded Jack that while Teal’c might consider him a brother, he considered him a very much younger brother.

‘She’s made her choice,’ Jack said quietly. 

He’d known as soon as he’d laid eyes on her after she had returned from rescuing Daniel from his ill-advised meet with the Trust and subsequent abduction.  She had looked more settled in her skin than she had in days.  He’d initially hoped her choice had been different, but as soon as the debrief had been over, she’d asked for a moment to speak to SG1 in his office and…

Carter closed the door behind her as Daniel and Teal’c sent her questioning looks.  Jack retreated behind his desk, fearing he knew what she was about to announce.

‘I just wanted to let you all know, well,’ Carter began hesitantly.  ‘Pete proposed and I’ve accepted.’

And there it was, exactly what he’d hoped he wouldn’t hear.

Daniel looked like he’d been zatted again whereas Teal’c’s brow lowered. 

Jack stepped in hurriedly before Carter could get worried about their reactions.  He pinned a smile on his face to cover up his own unhappiness. ‘Congratulations, Carter.’

‘Thank you, sir,’ Carter said.

Daniel shot a quick look at Jack which he avoided by looking down, forcing Daniel to return his attention to Carter. 

‘I didn’t realise you and Pete were, uh…’ Daniel gestured, words seemed to fail him, which for Daniel was a bad sign.

Jack shot Teal’c a look because he’d already thrown himself forward once and he wasn’t up to doing it again. 

‘It is certainly a surprise, Colonel Carter,’ Teal’c interjected, ‘but may I offer you my own congratulations.’  He bowed slightly to her.

‘Thank you, Teal’c,’ Carter said warmly.

‘Also know that should you have need, my knives are at your disposal,’ Teal’c continued.

It always came down to knives with the Jaffa, Jack thought inwardly pleased at the idea of stabbing Shanahan even if the cop’s only crime was dating Carter. 

Carter laughed.

Daniel finally pulled himself together to offer her a hug.  ‘Congratulations, Sam.’ Over her shoulder, Daniel’s eyes met Jack’s; his gaze was filled with concern for him.

The knowledge that Jack wasn’t going to keep it together for very much longer hit him like a brick.

‘OK,’ Jack declared, sitting down with a thump in his very comfy chair, ‘everybody out, some of us have very important reports to look at.’ He waved at his door with one hand even as he pulled a folder towards him with another.  ‘Carter, give our congrats to Pete and, uh, thanks for his help today.’

Carter beamed at him and thankfully ushered the others out. 

Jack waited until SG1 was gone before he let himself drop the act and allow himself a moment to feel the devastation at losing Carter for good.  She’d made her choice…

‘Choice implies that there are alternatives known to the one choosing,’ Teal’c rumbled out.  ‘Do you believe Colonel Carter understood there was an alternative she might prefer available to her?’

The words were as good as a punch in the belly; Jack felt winded.

‘No,’ Jack admitted out loud. 

Teal’c’s disappointment in O’Neill was written all over his stoic features for someone who knew him well.

‘She deserves better,’ Teal’c said, a hint of anger in his tone.

‘She does,’ Jack said evenly. 

He wasn’t it. 

Samantha Carter deserved someone who could love her openly; someone who didn’t have the baggage of a dead son and a failed marriage.  Someone young who could give her the family and life she wanted.

He’d believed once that they might be able to try; that there would be a nebulous future in which he wouldn’t be her CO and the regulations wouldn’t apply and maybe there would be a chance for them to try.  But just as he’d made vague plans built on his own knowledge of realising how much he still loved her when she’d been missing on the Prometheus, she’d decided to date Shanahan.

She’d been dating him ever since. 

Sure, there had been moments when she hadn’t mentioned him, hadn’t reached out to Shanahan when Jack might have expected her to – especially when Janet Fraiser had died, but her relationship with the cop had lasted months. 

When Carter had revealed the engagement ring – and seriously, shooting him would have been kinder (although how was she to know how much it had hurt Jack when all Jack had offered her for years was friendship), Jack’s only thought had been he’d been surprised Shanahan hadn’t done it sooner.

He’d been buoyed by her lack of her response, but as she’d explained her doubts had been about juggling her work and a family, about whether Shanahan could handle her work, whether he would have handled the balancing act if he’d had his family…(or that was what he’d thought she’d meant when she’d asked him if things had been different; he’d thought so at the time but if she’d meant between them…well, his answer would have still been the same), he’d realised that none of her doubt centred on whether she loved Shanahan.

And he couldn’t just state his own interest.  He couldn’t resurrect the past and confessions left in a room, a decision underlined by losing her because someone had noticed that Jack cared more than he should.  He was her senior officer.  It was his duty to protect her and that meant keeping his mouth shut.  He didn’t have a choice and couldn’t offer her one either.

Damn it.

Jack rubbed a hand furiously through his hair.

‘This is a most difficult time,’ Teal’c relented.  ‘As someone who loves you both, I do not wish for anything other than your happiness.’

Jack nodded, emotion welling up even as he refused to acknowledge that there was pain; that he was hurt.  To cover his reaction, Jack waved a hand vaguely in Teal’c’s direction.  ‘What about you?’

Teal’c looked bemused.

‘Ms James?’ Jack waggled his eyebrows.  ‘Will you be seeing more of her?’

‘I will not,’ Teal’c said, and Jack thought he might have heard a note of regret in his voice.  ‘I believe she requires time to recover from her former relationship and I…I am not of the Tau’ri.’

‘Not to mention, you have that whole thing with Ishta, right?’ Jack checked.  ‘I know Daniel said to me you guys were on a, what did he call it? Pledge break?’

‘A pledge break would require that Ishta and I would have exchanged vows in the rite of everlasting union,’ Teal’c said.

Jack’s eyebrows shot up.  ‘You don’t say.’

‘Only Drey’auc and I exchanged such vows,’ Teal’c stated.  ‘My current break with Ishta is simply a disagreement over the way forward for the Jaffa.  We have made no promises to each other beyond comfort when we meet.’

And OK, Jack wasn’t going to touch that with a very long bargepole.

Jack sighed and got to his feet.  ‘You need any help unpacking?’

Teal’c gave a single negative shake of his head.  ‘That will not be necessary, O’Neill.’

Jack nodded and headed for the door.  ‘Give a holler if you change your mind.’  He waved around the room as he made to step out. ‘You always have a home here, Teal’c.’

Teal’c inclined his head, an acknowledgement and a thank you combined. 

Jack closed the door and grimaced.

‘Yep, doing anything I want,’ he muttered and went in search of cake because that at least he could do.

o-O-o

Sam breathed a sigh of relief as she shut the front door on her home.  She made her way into the kitchen, brightening at the sight of Cassie already home and at the stove, poking at something in a pot.

‘Hey,’ Sam greeted her cheerfully, ‘I thought you had a late class?’

‘I skipped out,’ Cassie admitted.

Sam started to frown.

‘Don’t worry,’ Cassie said, holding up a spoon, ‘I got Professor Barriston’s permission.’

Sam hummed, wondering exactly what tale Cassie had told to be excused from the class.  She was beginning to worry Cassie wasn’t coping with her grief at losing her Mom as much as they had thought she was coping.

‘Go, grab a shower,’ Cassie said, focused on the pot, ‘dinner will be ready in twenty.’

‘Thanks, Cassie,’ Sam said, deciding to defer her questioning until she’d cleaned up. 

Five minutes later found her under a hot stream of water. 

Cassie occupied her mind.  The young girl SG1 had rescued had grown into a beautiful young woman.  Losing Janet Frasier the year before had hit them all hard but especially Cassie.  Sam recalled the difficult weeks immediately after when Cassie’s anger had felt like a living, breathing entity in the room with her.  Cassie had gotten into a little bit of trouble; acting out, clubbing and drinking…

But SG1, including their former team-mate Jonas Quinn, had made sure Cassie had pulled through.  Although Cassie had decided to resume living the dorms when college was in session, she’d moved in with Sam, selling the Fraiser home and putting the money into trust.  Sometimes, Sam would come home and find Cassie had eschewed the dorm for her room at Sam’s. 

She’d initially been glad that Cassie was comfortable enough to find refuge in Sam’s home, but it seemed like almost every weekend Cassie was choosing to leave college in favour of her room at Sam’s.

It was a red flag.

Sam also knew the cavalier way Cassie had spoken about skipping class suggested it wasn’t the first time she’d done it.

She bit her lip as she finished rinsing away the last of the soap suds and stepped out into the comfort of a warm towel.  She hurried through her routine, deciding to just moisturise and use lip gloss than reapply make-up.  She made it back into the kitchen with five minutes to spare on Cassie’s timing.

Cassie glanced over from the stove and sighed dramatically.  ‘It’s really unfair how you look so beautiful without make-up.’

Sam smiled at her.  ‘You don’t need it.’ 

She considered pouring a glass of wine and decided against it.  She considered the options and settled on a preparing a jug of iced water with some lime.

Cassie had already set the table and they sat down with plates of spaghetti and sauce with garlic bread.

‘This looks great,’ Sam said, appreciatively. 

Cassie nudged the container of prepared grated parmesan cheese over to her.  ‘So,’ she said, motioning with a forkful of twirled pasta, ‘what’s the news you wanted to share?  It sounded important.’

‘Kinda,’ Sam sipped her water and met Cassie’s enquiring gaze.  ‘Pete’s asked me to marry him.’  She paused and took a deep breath.  ‘I’ve said yes.’

She couldn’t quite believe that she had.

She’d debated it over and over for days, weeks.  She’d been taken aback by the proposal for all that she and Pete had been dating for months; taken aback despite her decision to commit to dating Pete more fully in recent months after she’d considered but dismissed the possibility of ending the relationship entirely.

The prospect of actually being married, having a child of her own…it had made it all very real with very real challenges ahead of her – and of Pete.  It had made the fact she was trying to move on from her feelings for Jack even more heart-wrenching, because marriage to another man would mean she was truly accepting that any possibility of being with Jack was over.   

Yet, she’d said yes.

Yes, because Pete had been so great at helping her when she’d asked.  Yes, because he accepted her crazy life and laughed at disappearing villains.  Yes, because he’d waited, patiently for her to give him an answer. Yes, because he loved her and she loved him even if a part of her would always belong to Jack.

The day before, after she’d said yes, had felt like a dream.  She’d been swept up in Pete’s excitement at the warehouse (and she blushed as she remembered how they’d kissed after she’d told him…it had been so unprofessional, if understandable that they’d gotten caught up in the moment.  She’d pulled away and checked nobody had noticed and thankfully nobody had).

She’d told the guys after the debrief in Jack’s office for privacy.  They’d offered their congratulations, but it had been very tempered by their shock at the news.  They’d looked like they couldn’t believe it.  But they had congratulated her and made it feel real for a moment.  Jack’s acceptance of her decision without any argument, with only a smile at her news, made it even more than real for Sam in that moment.

She pushed away the stab of hurt.  After the embarrassing conversation between her and Jack in her lab when she’d told him Pete had proposed and he had knocked down her arguments for not accepting…and that stupid moment when she’d slipped and asked if things had been different between them, only for him to answer about him and Sara…or at least that’s what she assumed he’d done since he’d said he wouldn’t even be at the SGC…

If she’d needed any other confirmation that Jack only saw her as a friend, his congratulations had been it. 

Moving on, Sam reminded herself; she was committing herself to making a life with another man and she could have a good life with Pete. 

He knew about her work and he wasn’t phased by the weirdness of it.  He supported her no matter how many times she cancelled or had to reschedule something because of work.  He’d helped her with the situation with Teal’c.  As Jack had pointed out, he was a cop and could deal with the knowledge she worked in a dangerous profession, and there were plenty of people with families at the SGC; she and Pete would work it out.

Most importantly, Sam didn’t question the fact that Pete loved her.  He showed her every day that he did.  And she did love him.  Not the same way she loved Jack, and maybe she didn’t love Pete as deeply as he loved her, but she loved him.

She did.

If the guys’ reactions had been subdued due to their surprise, her brother Mark’s reaction had been at the other end of the scale.  He’d been ecstatic.  He’d berated her for taking so long to decide, for keeping Pete hanging (and Pete had apparently asked for brother’s permission in the absence of her father), but he’d been beyond happy.  Her sister-in-law, Tricia, had offered a more measured congratulations, and then Sam had spent the rest of the call evading questions about telling her father from Mark (explaining that their father was off world and unavailable wasn’t an option since Mark didn’t know about the Stargate).

She’d gone to bed, exhausted and emotionally just done.  She’d woken up wondering if she had indeed dreamed the whole thing only for an early morning delivery of flowers from Pete addressed to ‘my beautiful fiancé.’

Cassie’s reaction was more in line with Daniel’s, Sam considered worriedly taking in the way Cassie stared at her open-mouthed.

Sam was about to check she was OK when Cassie jumped up with a high-pitched squeal, bounded around the table and hugged her.

Sam hugged her back, relieved.

‘You’re getting married!’ Cassie almost shouted in her ear. She leaped back and grabbed Sam’s hand only to frown heavily.  ‘Where’s your ring?  He did get you a ring, right?’

‘He got me a ring,’ Sam said, nudging Cassie back around the table, ‘and it’s…’ she paused and wondered where she’d left it.  ‘I left it at work.’

‘At work?’ Cassie parroted, sliding back into her seat and picking her fork back up.

Sam nodded. ‘I can’t wear it because it’s not safe to wear jewellery with some of the work I do, so I left it in the box and…’ she shrugged, blushing, ‘I must have forgotten.’

‘Well, you haven’t been engaged long, you’re not used to having to wear it yet,’ Cassie consoled her.  ‘Have you and Pete set a date?’

‘Not yet,’ Sam shook her head. 

They really hadn’t discussed any of the details.  Sam was happy to wait though.  Ideally she wanted her father there, but since he was with the Tok’ra trying to rebuild their political capital with the council, she couldn’t guarantee that.  God knew what they were going to tell Mark if her Dad hadn’t returned by the wedding.

‘You’ve told the guys, right?’  Cassie continued excitedly.

‘Yes,’ Sam confirmed, her mind flitting back to her earlier thoughts.

Cassie peered at her, her gaze suddenly sharp.  ‘I know they don’t think Pete’s worthy of you, like anyone is, but they did congratulate you, didn’t they?’

‘They did,’ Sam said, processing Cassie’s words. 

The guys didn’t think Pete was worthy of her?  Well.  She knew they’d done their whole ‘hurt her and we’ll kill you’ talk, but still?  But then, it wasn’t as though she’d made an effort to have them spend any time together.  In fact, she’d actively worked to keep the two parts of her life separate so she couldn’t blame them.  Cassie had only come to know Pete better because of her living with Sam.

She belatedly realised Cassie was waiting for her to say something more.  ‘I think they were just surprised.’

‘Me too,’ Cassie admitted. ‘I know you’ve been seeing more of him the last few months, but I didn’t think it had gotten serious serious, you know?’

‘I know,’ Sam said truthfully because she hadn’t thought they were serious serious either. 

Or rather, she suspected Pete was further along than her in that, but she had definitely not been on the same page when he’d pulled out the engagement ring.  Honoured, touched, thrilled (because who didn’t appreciate being told they were loved and special enough to be wanted as a life partner), but surprised, shocked and…uncertain about her decision.

Sam focused on her food. 

She wasn’t uncertain anymore; she’d considered Pete’s proposal thoroughly.  Maybe if she’d had any hint Jack’s feelings for her were more than friendship, she might have decided differently, but it was clear he didn’t.  He loved and cared for her, but not the way she wanted.  She’d known that; it was the reason why she’d begun to date Pete in the first place.

And Pete was a good choice, she reminded herself again.  He knew the truth and loved her.  He loved her.  She could build a life with him outside of her work; she could have a family.  She’d committed to that.      

Cassie suddenly stilled drawing her attention.  Sam sent her a questioning look.

‘I just thought…are you…are you moving to Denver?’ Cassie stared at her food rather than look at Sam.

‘No,’ Sam hurried to reassure her, ‘Pete’s going to transfer to Colorado Springs so he’ll be living in town.’

‘Uh, won’t he want to move in here?’ Cassie waved a hand around the room.

Sam opened her mouth to deny that he would and realised they hadn’t talked about it.  When Pete had opened his proposal with the news of his transfer, she’d assumed he’d be finding his own place.  But, Sam mused, they were engaged so would Pete want to move in?

Her gaze landed back on Cassie who was pushing food from one side of her plate to another.  She could understand Cassie’s concern.  She’d assured Cassie Pete wasn’t around all that much when Cassie had moved in.

‘He’ll get his own place until we get married,’ Sam said firmly.   She reached across with her hand and was glad when Cassie reached back.  ‘You will always have a home with me, Cassie.’

Cassie smiled at her, sadness drifting over her face. ‘It’s Mom’s birthday soon.’

Sam blinked.  God, time just flew by.  ‘What would you like to do for it?’

‘I thought…’ Cassie shifted position, keeping her gaze on her plate, ‘I thought I might go and see Grandma.’

Maggie Fraiser, Janet’s indomitable mother.  It wasn’t a bad idea.  Maggie seemed to have a way of understanding Cassie. 

Sam nodded.  ‘So, we’ll make that happen.’

Relief flooded over Cassie’s features.  ‘Thank you.’

Sam sipped her water.  ‘How’s school going?’

‘It’s fine,’ Cassie shrugged. 

Not for the first time, Sam wished she had Maggie’s touch.

‘You’ve been spending more time here,’ Sam noted, careful to keep her tone light.  ‘Everything OK with your dorm mates?’

Cassie shrugged, scooping up more of her meal.  ‘They’re fine.’

Sam managed to eat some of her dinner before she tried again.  ‘Just fine?’

‘They don’t understand,’ Cassie said.  ‘They want to talk about normal things like boys, and mid-terms, and…’ she shrugged.  ‘They just don’t get it.’ She pulled her face.  ‘And it’s not like it’s just them, Dom and Emma don’t get it either.’

Sam nodded.  She’d had her own experience of the same when she’d lost her Mom young.  ‘Sucks, huh?’

‘Yeah,’ Cassie managed a small smile.  ‘Sucks.  Doctor Ballo wants me to talk to them about it, but I think that will make things even more awkward.’ 

‘Maybe,’ Sam agreed, ‘or you could try talking with Dom and Emma first.  They’ve been your friends for years and they did know your Mom.’

‘Yeah,’ Cassie sighed.

‘How’s it going with Doctor Ballo?’ asked Sam bluntly.

Cassie shrugged.  ‘I preferred art therapy.’

Sam pressed her lips together.  ‘We can always change your therapist again if you’re not clicking with this one.’

Cassie seemed to almost shake herself.  ‘Anyway, enough about me.  Let’s talk weddings!  Have you thought about where you’re going to have it?’

Sam shook her head.  ‘Earth?’  She was pleased when Cassie laughed.  ‘Like I said, it’s all new; Pete and I haven’t discussed anything yet.’ 

‘What about an engagement party?’ Cassie suggested.

‘Maybe,’ Sam murmured.

Nerves shot through her suddenly.

An engagement party.  Wedding.  Venues, and flowers, and rings, and…

It was real.

Sam reached for her water and suddenly wished she’d chosen the wine.

o-O-o

‘Have you been staring at that all night?’

Sam’s voice broke through the almost trance-like state Daniel had managed to acquire staring at his screen.

‘No?’ he replied, blinking owlishly and wondering where his glasses were only to fumble as his hand caught them perched on his face as usual.

‘I don’t think that’s supposed to be a question,’ remarked Sam, amused.  She leaned over his central table in a sprawl that was far too like Jack.

‘I just…’ Daniel gestured at the computer.  ‘I want to know what this is for.  Maybe if I can work that out then I can do something to stop the Trust using it.’

Sam hummed sympathetically.  ‘It’s not your fault, Daniel.’

‘Isn’t it?’ Daniel countered, folding his arms over his chest, pulling his t-shirt taut.  ‘I should have refused.’

‘If you had you would have gotten yourself and Ms James shot,’ Sam pointed out bluntly.  ‘You’re lucky that they only zatted you once.’

He was.

He knew that.

He’d faced the wall and had entirely expected not to survive.

Maybe the Trust thought he was still useful to the defence of Earth because he had no other reason why they’d left him alive.

He shivered.

‘I’d apologise for getting there late,’ Sam continued, ‘except for the fact that you didn’t let me know ahead of rushing out to confront them by yourself.’

Daniel winced and avoided her sharp blue gaze.  He was discovering that he hated disappointing Sam as his team leader much more than he’d hated disappointing Jack, and he especially hated putting her in a position where she chastised him like he was a recalcitrant teen, or worse, a stubborn toddler. 

It was a fascinating cultural reaction, Daniel mused.  Did he hate disappointing Sam worse than disappointing Jack because she was a woman?  He didn’t think so.  Was it because she was Sam?  His best friend and past co-conspirator in opposing Jack’s ‘just get it done and don’t explain it to me’ position when he’d been team lead?  Yes. 

Damn it.

Not that he’d had much choice about meeting with the Trust to save Teal’c’s friend, nor going with them…being blackmailed and coerced was galling.  He knew Jack had investigators trying to root out the insiders, that he had tech guys going over their systems to close down any access…it didn’t feel like enough and Daniel could feel the shadow of their eyes on him.  It made his skin crawl.

Daniel sighed heavily as he met her gaze with something he hoped was approaching an apologetic expression.  ‘Sorry?’

‘Again,’ Sam said wryly, ‘not sure that’s supposed to be a question.’

There was a beat of silence where Daniel acknowledged that was a good point and his eyes gleamed with true repentance for a moment before either of them moved.

Sam stood up and waved at him.  ‘Come on.  Let’s get breakfast.  Teal’c’s waiting for us.’

Daniel opened his mouth to refuse – he needed a shower and clean clothes – but his stomach rumbled loudly at the thought of food.  Food, then shower.

He slipped off his stool and turned off his computer in a careless way that always made Sam wince and made him feel guilty – he’d do it the right way next time, he promised himself as he followed her down the corridor into the elevator.

Sam began humming under her breath.

‘So,’ Daniel began brightly, ‘how are you?’ He waggled his eyebrows at her.  ‘You and Pete celebrating your engagement?’

Sam blushed.  ‘He’s had to go back to Denver for a while.’

‘No engagement party?’ asked Daniel, because if there was he needed to warn Jack.

‘Not yet,’ Sam shrugged.  ‘Cassie wants to organise something, but I’d prefer to hold off until Pete’s back in town and it’ll probably be small despite Cassie’s plans.’

‘Makes sense,’ Daniel said mildly.  He debated whether to say something for a long second and sighed.  ‘Are you sure this is what you want, Sam?’

Sam’s eyes went wide with shock at his question.  ‘Daniel…’

‘Only I can’t help remembering how you were decrying unrealistic expectations of romantic love and societal norms a week or so ago?’

Sam’s surprise melted into understanding.  ‘I admit I was…taken by surprise with the proposal?’ She shook her head.  ‘I’ve been career focused for a long time, Daniel, and dating Pete didn’t change that, not really.  I was just…not sure if this is something I really wanted.’

‘But it is?’ pressed Daniel.

‘Yes,’ Sam said firmly, ‘I considered my answer a lot, Daniel.  This is what I want.’

Daniel held her gaze, because he was certain there was someone else she wanted more than Pete.  ‘Are you sure about that?’

‘Cassie said you guys didn’t think Pete was worthy enough to marry me,’ Sam said with a smile.  ‘But he’s a good man, Daniel.  He loves me.’

Daniel couldn’t argue with that.  Pete did love Sam.  The elevator pinged ending their conversation and Daniel followed Sam out to the cafeteria.

They picked up trays and food before making their way to a table where Teal’c was already ploughing through a feast.

‘I guess one advantage of living back on base is that you don’t have to cook for yourself,’ Daniel commented dryly, pushing his glasses up his nose.

‘Indeed,’ Teal’c replied.

Daniel exchanged a quick look with Sam, both of them silently acknowledging their friend’s sadness despite his usual stoic expression.

‘Where’s the General?’ asked Sam, digging into her eggs.

‘O’Neill had another meeting to attend to at this time,’ Teal’c said.  His dark eyes flitted to Daniel’s with the truth.

Jack was avoiding Sam.

Daniel couldn’t blame him – well, he could.  If Jack had been honest and told Sam he loved her, Daniel was almost certain Sam would never have chosen Pete Shanahan.  He sighed and shook away the thought.  Both Sam and Jack had made their choices and the only thing the rest of SG1 could do was to accept that. 

o-O-o

‘Another round?’

The table of cops was loud in their agreement even in the noisy bar.

Pete grinned at his former partner and raised his empty beer bottle in response.  ‘I’ll come with you, Zach.’

Zach nodded back.  His black hair looked almost blue in the dim lighting; his fit physique, dark mahogany skin, high cheekbones, and dark eyes drew appreciative glances from the ladies at the next table.

They threaded their way through the busy Denver bar and managed to squeeze into a place at the bar. 

‘You’ve been quiet,’ Pete noted.  ‘You know you are allowed to have fun; we’re celebrating my engagement to a smart, beautiful woman.’

‘We are,’ Zach agreed lightly, ‘and I’m pleased for you.’

Pete arched an eyebrow.  ‘But?’

Zach hesitated and Pete understood he was wrestling with whether to say anything or keep his mouth shut – it was meant to be a celebration. 

‘Look, man,’ Pete said, ‘you can say anything to me; you know that.’

Zach held up his hands to indicate six beers to the bartender and turned to face Pete.  ‘I like Sam and I know you love her,’ his eyes gleamed with worry, ‘but, as your friend I can’t help being concerned for you here.’

‘Why?’ asked Pete.  ‘She’s smart, beautiful…’

‘And you’re giving up everything to be with her,’ Zach parried. ‘What’s she giving up for you?’

It was a good question, Pete inwardly acknowledged.  Sam wasn’t giving up anything for him – and she didn’t have to, Pete thought furiously.  She was a goddamn superhero; not that the rest of the world knew that.

‘You’re transferring to where she lives, you’re giving up your apartment,’ Zach began to recite, ‘and you say tonight that you’re not even moving in with her…’

‘Her best friend’s daughter is still grieving, Zach!’ Pete protested.  ‘Come on!’ 

He was disappointed though.  He’d assumed he would move into Sam’s and when she’d called that evening to talk about it, he’d been gutted when she’d asked him to find his own place until they got married because of Cassie.

Zach levelled an unimpressed look at him.  ‘All I’m saying is that this feels one-sided and I…I don’t want to see you get hurt, Pete.’

‘I won’t,’ Pete said. 

‘She took over two weeks to accept,’ Zach countered, handing over his money as the bartender stacked the beers in front of him. 

‘She’s not impulsive,’ Pete responded defensively.  ‘Look, I was the one who screwed things up between us back at the start and she gave me another chance.  I don’t blame her for needing time to make her decision, and I’m glad she took it.’

Even if he’d spent every minute of that time swinging between regret that he might have pushed Sam too soon by proposing and hope that no answer wasn’t an outright no.

‘She has an amazing job she can’t do from just anywhere,’ Pete continued.  ‘I can.  It’s not one-sided, Zach.’

‘You know her better than me,’ Zach allowed with a sigh.  ‘I just…worry.’

‘I love her,’ Pete said firmly, ‘and she loves me.  That’s what’s important, right?’

Zach nodded.  He patted Pete’s arm, signalling he was letting it go.  He picked up some of the bottles, Pete grabbed the rest and they began to make their way back to the table.

As he sat down and sipped his beer, half-tuning into the teasing McGuire was giving Louis over a bust that day, his mind wandered back over Zach’s concerns.

There was a small nagging voice in the back of his head that kept poking him, that kept saying Zach was right to worry.

Sam was smart and beautiful and everything Pete could ever dream of in a woman, in his future wife, but…

But.

Why had she taken so long to say yes?

Pete knew he wasn’t as important as her work.  He accepted that.  She was a hero and her job was important, much more important than his ego.  He accepted she’d cancel on him without much notice, that she wouldn’t always be available to attend parties and events and dates.  She had a crazy job.

He knew Cassie came ahead of him too.  Sam had told him the truth of the young woman, of how they’d rescued her as a child, and he accepted that Cassie was part of the deal.  She was as much Sam’s daughter as her late mother’s.  He figured it proved she’d be a good mother in time to their own children.

He’d wondered for a long time whether he came after her team; SG1.  Jack, Daniel and Teal’c were family to her – more so than Mark, although he’d never say that to his friend.  After his misstep, once they’d started dating again, it wasn’t unusual for Sam to cancel because of something to do with the team.  But the last few months had seen that diminish.  She’d started to choose Pete instead of spending time with her team. 

Sometimes he wondered why she never seemed to want Pete to spend time with them.  He could count on one hand the times he’d been in the same room as Sam and her team altogether.  She wanted a life outside of them, Pete told himself briskly.  She wanted something for herself.  That had to mean something.

And she had chosen him.  She’d said yes.     

But.

But, that small Zach-like voice kept poking at him. 

Sam loved him.

She did.

But did she love him enough?

‘Enough about Louis’ tripping over the suspect and apologising,’ McGuire proclaimed loudly.  ‘We’re here to raise a drink to Pete and the woman who’s finally consented to marry his poor ass!’

Zach pushed McGuire in retaliation before Pete could and raised his bottle.  ‘To Pete and Sam.  May they always be happy!’

Pete met Zach’s warm gaze and nodded sharply, accepting his friend’s words, knowing his concern anyway.  He raised his own bottle and drank with his friends.

Maybe Sam had taken a long time to decide on her answer.  Maybe Pete was giving up more than Sam.  Maybe he loved her more than she loved him, but…Sam was worth it. 

Sam was worth the risk and Pete was going to marry her.  That was all that mattered.

fin.