Storytime with Rachel F Hundred

There was a horrible sense of déjà vu flickering through Jack O’Neill as he took a seat by Martin Lloyd. Hadn’t they been here and done this before, he mentally complained to himself. Teal’c sat down beside him and General Hammond at the top of the table completed the picture. The rest of SG1, Samantha Carter and Daniel Jackson, took their seats across the table and their presence helped dispel the lingering memory of the last time he had sat with Martin in the SGC’s briefing room.

Marty looked nervous; he was faintly sweating, his fingers worrying at the buttons on his loud orange jacket. Combined with the print shirt he wore, Marty was a curious anomaly to the drab olive green BDUs SG1 sported. Jack was pleased to have gotten rid of the uniform he had been wearing for the past couple of days while he pretended to be the Military Technical Advisor to Marty’s new sci-fi television programme. Jack barely stopped the eye roll. Who the hell in the Air Force had thought that was a good idea? Plausible deniability, his ass. He shifted position as General Hammond cleared his throat.

‘Major?’ The General waved at Sam to begin.

Jack threw her an encouraging look. The business with Marty had ended up being their first official mission back following Carter’s ordeal at the hands of Adrian Conrad, and his own recovery from injuries sustained in her rescue. Ostensibly it was also the first time they’d had permission to leave the base since the incident. He ignored the twinge of pain in his arm and back that had been nagging at him ever since he’d been tied to a chair by Marty’s friends.

‘I’ve confirmed it, sir.’ Sam said answering the General. ‘There’s no sign of the ship in orbit or anywhere in our solar system.’

‘I told you.’ Marty broke in impatiently. He had complained vociferously about being taken back to the SGC but Jack had thought it prudent given the NID had been less than impressed with losing Tanner and more importantly, the ship. Marty pushed his oversize glasses up his nose. ‘General, I really need to get back to the set. If I’m not there then…’ he stuttered to a halt as though he realised his absence wouldn’t make a difference. ‘I need to get back.’ He mumbled desperately.

Hammond pressed his lips together. ‘Mister Lloyd, I don’t think I need to remind you that you and your friends are the reason why this briefing is taking place.’

Marty blushed and looked down at the gleaming table as he folded his hands over his stomach. ‘But I’ve already told you everything.’

‘Perhaps if you had told us about your ship the last time we were here,’ Hammond retorted, ‘this would be unnecessary.’

‘I didn’t remember the ship back then.’ Marty protested.

‘It is possible, General,’ Daniel said kindly, ‘that the drugs Tanner gave Marty before did suppress his memory of the ship.’

‘Thank you!’ Marty exclaimed, gesturing at Daniel and looking hopefully at Hammond.

The General regarded him sternly. ‘Is there anything else that may have slipped your mind?’

Marty shook his head.

‘Very well.’ Hammond waved an Airman forward. ‘You’re free to leave and resume your position on Wormhole X-treme. The Airman will escort you to the transport we’ve organised.’

‘Thank you.’ Marty scrambled to his feet as Hammond stood up along with the rest of SG1.

‘Thank you for your cooperation.’ Hammond said formally.

Marty turned to Jack. ‘Colonel O’Neill.’

‘Marty.’ Jack braced himself for the hug he was sure was coming and regarded Marty’s outstretched hand with suspicion. He shook it solemnly. He exchanged a wry look with Teal’c as Marty turned to him next.

‘Murray.’

‘Martin Lloyd.’ Teal’c shook hands and bowed his head slightly.

Marty waved across the table at Sam and Daniel before he hurried out of the room.

There was a collective sigh of relief as they all retook their seats.

Hammond sighed and clasped his hands together atop the table. ‘I’ve received a formal memo of complaint from the NID.’ His pale blue eyes drifted to Sam and Daniel. ‘Namely, regarding the subduing of the agent they left watching you.’

‘About that, sir,’ Sam began awkwardly.

Hammond waved away her explanation. ‘I’ve responded with a formal complaint of my own at the way the NID effectively unlawfully confined two of my people without due cause.’

Daniel nodded in thanks.

Jack felt a rush of pleasure at the General’s clear and unequivocal support for his team and he could see they were equally appreciative.

‘I’ve also expressed my concern at the decision on jurisdiction.’ Hammond shifted imperceptibly in his chair. ‘Fortunately, though, it does mean that subsequent events will be laid at the door of the NID and not this command.’

They all exchanged looks of amusement.

‘So what is the cover story for an alien ship suddenly appearing in Earth’s atmosphere?’ Jack asked dryly.

‘I believe they’re claiming it was some kind of special effect from a movie filming in the next lot.’ Sam replied with a shrug.

‘Weirdly, they all seem to believe it.’ Daniel commented. His blue eyes shone with a bemused disbelief.

Teal’c frowned. ‘It was an impressive vessel. It is clear Martin Lloyd’s people possessed formidable technology.’

‘Which is why they were targeted by the Goa’uld.’ Daniel added, pointing at the Jaffa with a pencil.

Teal’c inclined his head in silent agreement.

‘It would have been good to have secured the alien ship.’ Hammond said gruffly. ‘On that point, I happen to agree with the NID.’ His gaze landed on Jack. ‘I believe you told Agent Barrett that Tanner snatched the remote device from your hand in a moment of distraction when the ship appeared?’

‘Yes, sir.’ Jack confirmed. ‘That is what I told Agent Barrett.’ He pursed his lips and stared down at the table avoiding Hammond’s eyes. What he hadn’t told Barrett was that he had been offering the device to Tanner at the time. His eyes glanced toward Carter again; she was looking back at him quizzically as though she knew there was more to it. He couldn’t admit it though without putting Hammond in a difficult position and, in honesty, he’d been questioning why he’d done it ever since Tanner and his men had disappeared in a sparkle of yellow glowing lights.

He rubbed the bridge of his nose and glanced away from Carter back to the table top. If he was honest, he feared he may have let what had happened with Carter affect his decision making. There was enough circumstantial evidence to suggest that their own government had been involved with Carter’s abduction. Jack was certain of it. Colonel Simmons, their usual NID liaison, in league with Senator Kinsey, had either set it up or had been aware of Conrad’s intentions towards Carter. Anger surged through Jack again at the thought. Carter deserved better; his whole team deserved better.

Maybe that was why Tanner’s observation that if he and his cohorts remained on Earth the NID would never leave them alone had touched a nerve with Jack. That, Jack mused, or he was spending way too much time with Daniel. The younger man’s view that it was more important to build relationships with alien cultures rather than simply secure their technology was one that Jack had come to agree with wholeheartedly even if his military side occasionally winced at passing up a big honking space gun in favour of aliens owing them a favour.

‘Colonel…’ Hammond began.

Jack winced. He couldn’t tell Hammond what he’d done; he’d be putting him in an untenable position.

‘Sir.’ Walter Harriman’s voice arrested the attention of the entire table. The Sergeant swiftly moved to whisper something in Hammond’s ear. The General’s eyes widened.

‘I need to take a call.’ Hammond announced. ‘Remain seated, people.’ He shoved his chair back and strode into his adjoining office, closing the door firmly. They could see him reaching for the red phone.

SG1 exchanged a worried look as Walter escaped before any of them could question him.

‘Did Tanner really snatch the device out of your hand?’ Daniel asked bluntly, leaning over the table towards Jack.

‘He did.’ Jack said firmly, daring Daniel to argue the point.

‘I think what Daniel is trying to say, sir, is that we both find it unlikely that Tanner would be able to do that.’ Sam pointed out.

‘Unlikely,’ Jack agreed, ‘but not impossible.’ He shifted uncomfortably as their gaze moved to Teal’c. The Jaffa stared stoically back at them saying nothing.

‘I knew it.’ Daniel sighed, looking back at Jack. ‘You gave them the device, didn’t you?’

‘He didn’t say anything.’ Jack shot back.

‘He has that look.’ Daniel retorted.

‘What look?’ Jack demanded, staring at Teal’c himself, trying to determine what Daniel had seen in Teal’c’s impassive expression.

‘The ‘O’Neill did something but I cannot speak of it’ look.’ Daniel jotted down a note in the report on the table and darted a look at the Jaffa who looked back at him with a raised eyebrow.

‘He does not have a look.’ Jack denied firmly.

Daniel pointed at him. ‘You did the right thing, Jack.’

‘I didn’t do anything.’ Jack said defensively.

‘Jack, it’s….’

Hammond’s door opened and brought the conversation to an abrupt halt. Jack got to his feet following Carter’s example as the General resumed his place at the head of the table although he didn’t sit. Hammond stood, fingertips touching the polished surface, the artificial light glancing off his bald head.

‘That was Catherine Langford.’ Hammond said crisply. His sober expression had Jack frowning. The former civilian head of the Stargate programme was fondly remembered by them all. He knew Daniel kept in touch with her and he wasn’t surprised when Daniel spoke.

‘Is she alright?’ Daniel asked, his face furrowed with concern.

‘She called to inform us that Ernest Littlefield passed away this morning.’ Hammond said solemnly.

‘Oh God.’ Daniel muttered under his breath.

Jack looked down at the table. Ernest had been them back in the 1940s; he had travelled through the Stargate hoping to explore. Unfortunately the planet he had gated to had no working DHD and Ernest had been stranded until Daniel had discovered evidence of Ernest’s trip buried in the film documentation from the period.

Hammond raised one hand from the table and gestured at them. ‘You’re to leave immediately for Washington to oversee the escort of Doctor Littlefield’s body back to the SGC.’ He glanced over his shoulder at the dormant Stargate. ‘We’re granting Doctor Langford’s request that his body be sent back through the Stargate and to hold a small memorial service here.’

Jack followed Hammond’s gaze to the metal ring. Ernest was elderly – he’d been elderly when they had rescued him from the planet they had since designated Heliopolis – so it wasn’t a surprise but it was still sad news. ‘Yes, sir.’

‘There’ll be a transport waiting for you at Petersen once you get there.’ Hammond confirmed as he turned back to them. ‘Dismissed.’

Jack nodded. There was nothing else to say. They had brought Ernest Littlefield home once before; they would do it one final time.

o-O-o

Daniel suppressed the urge to fidget with his tie and focused his attention outside of the car at the passing Washington scenery – or rather at the scenery they were supposed to be passing.

Jack evidently had reached the end of his patience because he sighed heavily at Major Paul Davis who had joined them once they had reached Andrews. ‘What’s taking so long?’

‘Traffic, sir.’ Davis apologised. He glanced at his watch and grimaced.

Sam shifted beside Daniel capturing Jack’s attention.

‘You OK, Carter?’ Jack asked softly.

Daniel had to admire the military man’s control; there was enough concern that his brisk tone was warmed and wouldn’t make Sam feel it was a reprimand; enough brisk tone that his concern didn’t draw Davis’s attention unduly.

‘I’m fine, sir.’ Sam attempted a reassuring smile which fell away. Her blue eyes were filled with the same sadness that ate away at Daniel. He impulsively clasped her hand in his and Sam squeezed his in return.

Daniel caught Jack’s eyes looking at their joined hands, a strange mixture of jealousy and acceptance swirling in the chocolate depths, before Jack looked away. Daniel sighed and glared out of the window again. He’d given up trying to understand the relationship between Sam and Jack. They loved each other but evidently had determined to put the mission first as their oaths as military officers demanded. They’d tried to move on since Jack had been placed in the position of having to kill her to save the base but as far as Daniel had observed neither of them had achieved anything except making themselves miserable.

No.

He didn’t understand it but he respected it, Daniel mused. Their decision kept SG1 together, after all and Daniel appreciated that. The team was the only family he had as weird and as dysfunctional as it was and he was too aware of its potential transience. SG1 had already been disbanded twice before because of politics and Daniel couldn’t help fear that it would again.

And then there was Catherine and Ernest.

They’d remained in close contact with Daniel ever since SG1 had rescued Ernest. He corresponded with them regularly – not as regularly recently, Daniel thought with a guilty sigh. He wanted to claim he’d been busy – and he had – but he knew his lack of contact had more to do with his own growing dissatisfaction with his life; Daniel was struggling to understand his purpose, his continuing reason for going through the Stargate.

Ernest had gone through the Stargate to explore; for no other reason. It had been enough for Daniel too that first trip through to Abydos. He had never had a place on Earth; his grandfather hadn’t wanted him after the death of his parents and he’d had a succession of foster homes before he had settled; academia had turned its back long before Catherine’s offer to join the programme. But he’d gone through the Stargate and found a place on Abydos only for it to shatter into a million pieces a year later.

His eyes strayed back to Jack. If that first trip to Abydos had been about exploration for him, Jack had gone through to die. He had been broken, following the death of his son. Abydos had healed him. Daniel looked back through the window again. Maybe that was why he was still going through the Stargate despite Sha’re’s death; maybe he was hoping for the same kind of healing Jack had found or maybe he was hoping to find a place again; somewhere he would belong without question. He feared he remained in the Stargate programme because there was nowhere else for him to go.

The car finally pulled up in front of Catherine’s townhouse and Daniel followed Jack out of the vehicle. The front door opened and Catherine’s maid appeared. She greeted them taking their coats and ushered them into the front parlour where she served them drinks of tea and coffee. Sam and Jack took a sofa by the fire; Teal’c settled his large frame into one antique chair while Davis sat nervously in another. Daniel headed for the mantelpiece and the mass of framed photos. Many of them were of Catherine’s various nieces and nephews; her godchildren. Some of the more recent were of her and Ernest; of them picnicking in Central Park in New York, in front of the pyramids in Egypt…he swallowed the lump in his throat.

A noise by the door had them turning in unison.

‘Catherine.’ Jack crossed to her first, wrapping the small, white-haired woman in a bear hug. ‘I’m so sorry.’

Catherine patted his back. ‘Jack. It’s good to see you.’ She seemed remarkably composed, Daniel thought. There were shadows under her eyes though and she was pale; that was highlighted by the fact that she had dressed all in black; wide pants topped with a large black sweater. The Eye of Ra pendant Daniel had once worn to Abydos glinted on the black background. A stylish black velvet scarf hung around her neck loosely.

Jack let her go, relinquishing her to Sam. The two women hugged briefly before Teal’c cleared his throat.

‘My condolences in your time of grief.’ Teal’c said formally, bowing deeply.

Catherine nodded at him in silent acknowledgement, Sam’s arm still around her shoulders, before her dark gaze skipped to Major Davis.

‘Ma’am, it’s an honour.’ Davis said after Jack introduced him.

Catherine’s gaze finally fell on Daniel. He stepped forward at the same time as Sam let go of Catherine. She moved into his waiting embrace, burying her head in his chest. Tears sprang into his eyes as Catherine trembled and her hands clutched at him.

‘Daniel.’ It was a sob.

‘I know.’ He murmured, holding her tightly. He could feel her tears soaking into his crisp shirt.

Jack caught his eye and indicated with a jerk of his head that he and the others would leave. He quickly shepherded them out quietly until Daniel and Catherine were alone. Daniel had no idea where Jack would take them but he knew Catherine would appreciate the thoughtfulness. He held her as she wept; his own tears stinging the back of his eyes as he fought to keep from crying.

He lost track of time as they remained standing in the centre of the grand room with its polished antiques and faded soft furnishings. Eventually Catherine quieted and he guided her to the sofa. He pushed his spare handkerchief into her hands before he poured her a cup of tea adding a generous spoonful of sugar. He handed it to her.

‘I’m sorry.’ Catherine apologised taking a small sip before setting the cup aside.

Daniel shook his head. He took hold of her hand. ‘They didn’t tell us much. What happened?’

‘Old age.’ Catherine attempted a smile to soften the words. ‘His health was never…and then, he caught a cold a few weeks back. He just never recovered. He passed peacefully.’

‘Why didn’t you call me?’ Daniel asked plaintively. ‘I would have come.’

Catherine patted his hand. ‘I know but you’re busy and I,’ she looked down briefly, ‘I hoped it wasn’t…that he would.’ She stopped, blinking back fresh tears. ‘I feel like such a silly old woman.’

‘It’s never silly to hope.’ Daniel wrapped her hands in his.

‘I’ve grieved for him before.’ Catherine said quietly, her dark eyes taking on a distant look. ‘When I was young and I thought he was lost to me. Back then I grieved for a future that I had lost too. But you found him and brought him home to me.’ She gave a tremulous smile. ‘And now, I have so many memories; so many happy memories.’ Daniel held her hand tightly as she began to talk about Ernest and their life together and he let her talk, knowing it was what she needed.

It was a while before Catherine left to get some rest and he went in search of the others. He found them in the kitchen, crowded around a small pine table.

‘How is she?’ Sam said, rising to greet Daniel with a hug. She pushed him into a vacant chair.

Daniel swallowed the snappish retort that jumped to his lips and removed his glasses to rub at his eyes. He replaced them before he spoke. ‘She’s resting.’

‘I’m expecting the transport for the, uh,’ Davis caught himself as Daniel and Jack both glared at him, ‘Doctor Littlefield in an hour.’

‘Why don’t you push them back another hour; same with the flight.’ Jack delivered the request casually but Davis nodded sharply acknowledging the order it truly was.

‘If you’ll excuse me, I’ll step out to make the call.’ Davis said. He left and SG1 were alone.

Sam reached over and took Daniel’s hand.

‘I should have been here.’ Daniel complained. ‘She said he’d been ill for a while and she didn’t want to disturb me.’ He looked up at the ceiling and blinked back tears.

‘My grandmother was the same when my grandfather died.’ Jack noted, staring into the bottom of the cup he held. ‘He’d been ill for a month before he died and she told us.’

The family reference was unusual enough to gain Daniel’s attention.

Jack shrugged as he met Daniel’s questioning eyes. ‘I think it’s a generational thing.’

‘She said she just hoped he would recover and then,’ Daniel sighed, ‘and then it was too late.’

‘Does she need any help to pack?’ Sam asked, glancing up at the ceiling.

‘Maybe.’ Daniel shrugged. ‘I don’t know.’

‘Why don’t you give her an hour and then go see?’ Jack suggested to Sam quietly.

Sam nodded.

‘What about her family?’ Jack questioned. ‘Anybody coming with?’

‘Just us.’ Daniel replied. He lifted his free hand from the table. ‘Catherine’s family don’t have clearance. She’s told them Ernest requested to go home and she’s honouring his last wish.’

Jack’s hand wave encompassed the table. ‘Well, she’ll have us.’

Daniel nodded tiredly. Catherine would have SG1 and maybe that would be enough…for both of them.

o-O-o

‘Ernest Littlefield was a hero.’ Daniel’s voice rang out strongly in the solemn gate room.

Sam smiled at him encouragingly as his blue eyes landed briefly on hers. She followed the path of his gaze as it moved from her to the woman sat beside her and whose hand she held tightly. Catherine looked sharply elegant in a simple black dress with a warm black velvet wrap. She was a commanding presence despite her diminutive height. As Sam glanced away from Catherine her eyes met the Colonel’s.

Jack sat on the opposite side of Catherine with Teal’c beside him and an empty chair that Daniel had occupied until he had risen to speak. Jack was dressed in his service blues as she was, and she could tell he was already itching to tug at his collar. He raised an eyebrow in silent query; was she OK? Sam nodded almost imperceptibly before averting her gaze.

General Hammond shifted beside Sam on her other side. The SGC commander had ordered the row of chairs as a courtesy to Catherine but Sam knew he would prefer to be standing alongside the rest of the gathering behind them, a mix of military and scientists.

Sam dragged her attention back to Daniel. The archaeologist stood behind a podium at the top of the metal ramp. Ernest Littlefield’s coffin lay on special stand in the middle of the ramp. It was draped in the American flag as befitting Daniel’s opening words.

‘He was an explorer,’ Daniel continued, ‘and he was a scientist. It was all these qualities that drove his desire to learn about the Stargate, to understand its purpose and how it worked. His thirst for knowledge and for understanding, his bravery and courage allowed him to take the ultimate leap through the event horizon.’

Daniel paused. ‘Ernest Littlefield allowed those of us who came after to literally follow in his footsteps.’

Sam saw his fingers clench on the side of the podium as Daniel took a breath.

‘Ernest paid a heavy price for the leap of faith he took. The planet that he travelled to had no working DHD and he remained stranded for decades. He filled his time studying the planet around him and the knowledge device within the ruins he inhabited.’

His eyes darted to Catherine. ‘But it wasn’t his academic curiosity that sustained Ernest but rather, his love for the woman he had left behind. It was Catherine he conjured into being with the strength of his mind alone so he could survive his long solitude.’ He dropped his gaze back to his notes. ‘I’d like to read an extract from Ernest’s journal.’

He cleared his voice. ‘I walked with Catherine today. We spoke of growing old together. Catherine talked of trips to the places we have loved; Paris and Egypt, New York and Rome. I told her that no matter where we are, I will love her and that the only important thing is that we are together.’

Sam couldn’t help her gaze darting to the Colonel’s stern profile. His eyes were fixed on Daniel. She wondered what Jack was thinking as she jerked her own gaze away again. She knew there had been when they had both dreamed of growing old together, when they had loved each other, but their professional relationship had to come first. Sam had acknowledged to herself that she still loved him but she knew Jack had moved on. He had dated a woman called Amy and although Sam knew his relationship had ended, she figured Jack would find someone else. He was an attractive man after all. She ignored the twinge of jealousy in her belly. Career, Sam reminded herself. She was focusing on her career.

‘Five years ago,’ Daniel intoned gravely, ‘Ernest was rescued and his wish was granted. He spent the rest of his time with his beloved Catherine. They took the trips Ernest imagined and more importantly, no matter where they were, he loved her and they were together. In his eyes, his love for her was his greatest achievement.’

He nodded to mark the end of his speech and the SGC chaplain stepped forward to lead the gathering in prayer as Daniel returned to his seat. The chaplain finished and General Hammond rose swiftly giving the silent command for the honour guard to move in.

Sam helped Catherine rise as they watched the flag being folded. It was passed with solemnity to General Hammond who offered it to Catherine. She took it, tears brimming in her brown eyes. Sam placed an arm around her comfortingly.

Sergeant Siler’s team shifted the podium and the Stargate began to turn, blossoming out into the white and blue kawoosh before settling back into its usual blue puddle. They had tried to reconnect to Heliopolis but just as after the rescue mission, the gate would not lock so they had chosen an uninhabitable planet instead where a lava flow was due to one day destroy the Stargate. Ernest’s coffin would be incinerated along with the rest of the planet.

The men of SG1 stood up and took their positions on one side of the coffin while the honour guard took up the other. They lifted the coffin from the stand and fed it through the waiting wormhole. As the end of the coffin was submerged, the wormhole disappeared.

Hammond turned back to the assembled crowd. ‘We’ve organised a small reception in the briefing room. Please make your way there.’

Sam relinquished Catherine to the General and fell into step beside the Colonel. She sipped the drink she took from the proffered tray and made small talk with the scientists for a while before she wandered over to the window where Daniel was staring out at the Stargate, his hands buried in the depths of his pockets.

‘Hey.’ Sam nudged him gently. ‘Nice speech.’

Daniel gave a small smile. ‘Thanks.’ He nudged her back. ‘I hear you’re heading off base tonight.’

She nodded. ‘General Hammond’s lifted the restrictions and as I’m cleared for duty now, there’s no reason for me to remain on base so…’ she shrugged, trying to hide the ripple of unease that ran down her spine. Apart from the mission with Martin Lloyd and the trip to Washington she hadn’t left the base since her abduction. She certainly hadn’t stayed in her own house. And she had never been alone.

She would be fine, Sam assured herself. The house had been given additional security. She’d been training with Teal’c on some new hand to hand moves; she was a grown woman. She could stay a night in her house on her own. The team had already agreed a morning security check regime. She would be fine.

Sam wondered when she was going to believe it.

‘You’re heading back to Washington with Catherine.’ Sam stated, changing the subject.

Daniel nodded.

‘You want some company?’ Sam asked softly.

He shook his head. ‘Jack’s already offered but,’ he looked over at where Catherine was talking with Hammond, ‘Catherine asked me specifically so…’

Sam patted his arm. ‘No need to explain.’

‘Actually,’ Daniel said glancing at the clock, ‘we should be going.’

There was a rush of activity as Catherine said goodbye and left. All too soon Sam found herself standing outside her house. She looked nervously up the road. It was empty. The only vehicles were those of her neighbours. There was nothing sinister. She juggled the grocery bag, unlocked the door and entered cautiously.

The beeping sound reminded her of her new alarm and quickly closing her door, Sam hurried over to enter the right code. There was a musty smell. The house hadn’t been occupied in days. She pushed the bag and her purse on a side table and went to check out all the rooms, reassuring herself they were empty; that the windows and outer doors were locked.

The next hour disappeared in a blitz of cleaning and laundry – anything to keep her mind busy and her hands occupied. She put a casserole in the oven and headed for a bubble bath with a glass of wine.

She had just settled into the warm water when the doorbell rang stridently. Sam sat up, water cascading down her naked body and sloshing over the edges of the tub. Her heart pounded. She wasn’t expecting company.

It rang again.

Sam pushed herself to her feet and grabbed a towel wrapping it securely around her body as she padded to the front door. She reached into the purse she had discarded for her handgun. She peeked out of the curtain at the front door as the doorbell sounded again.

Her eyes widened at the sight of a worried looking Colonel and Teal’c. She hurriedly shoved the gun back in her purse and unlocked the door, using one hand to hold her towel in place.

Teal’c’s eyebrows shot up and disappeared into his trilby as he took in her undress.

Jack’s eyes travelled appreciatively over her and she felt her body warm under his regard. She knew the moment he realised he was staring as his expression became guarded and his gaze snapped to hers and pointedly remained North of her chin.

‘Carter.’

‘Colonel.’ Sam greeted him, trying to keep the amusement out of her voice. ‘Teal’c.’

Jack waved a hand in her general direction. ‘We were on our way to grab something to eat and thought you might want to join us.’

Or rather, Sam thought, torn between irritation and gratitude, they were checking up on her.

‘Actually,’ she looked behind her, ‘I’ve, uh…’

‘No need to explain, Carter.’ Jack said hurriedly. His gaze drifted over her shoulder. ‘I mean, if you already have plans…’ his eyes moved back to hers and she realised he thought there was someone in the house; a date…

‘No.’ Sam felt her cheeks burn furiously at her quick denial. She clutched the towel a little desperately. ‘No plans.’ She said in a calmer tone. ‘Except a bath and a casserole I’ve just put in the oven.’

‘Ah.’ Jack rocked back. ‘Well.’ He looked to Teal’c as though seeking help.

‘We will leave you.’ Teal’c said firmly. He shot Jack a look which clearly admonished the military man.

Sam saw a flicker of disappointment on the Colonel’s face before he hid it under his usual bravado.

‘We’ll…’ he waved a hand at his truck.

‘You’re both welcome to stay.’ Sam offered quickly. It wasn’t that she was scared, Sam thought defiantly, just that it was nice to have company. ‘There’s plenty food.’

Jack and Teal’c exchanged a look.

Teal’c inclined his head. ‘We would be honoured.’

Sam stepped back and allowed them to follow her inside.

‘Why don’t you go finish your bath?’ Jack offered as he closed the door and threw the lock. ‘We can entertain ourselves.’

She flashed him a grateful look. ‘There’s beer in the fridge along with some ginger ale for Teal’c.’ She said, already moving towards the bathroom. She unplugged the bath and showered instead. She dressed quickly and headed back to the kitchen-den area at the back of her home with the glass of wine.

Teal’c sat in the chair; a large bowl of popcorn on his lap. Jack sat in a similar position on the sofa. She sat down beside him and glanced at the TV.

‘What are we watching?’ She asked dryly as the brightly coloured action shifted from scene to scene.

‘It is the first episode of Wormhole X-treme.’ Teal’c informed her seriously.

Her eyebrows shot up. ‘It’s on air already?’

‘Marty sent an advanced copy to the SGC as a thank you.’ Jack explained. ‘Teal’c’s been dying to watch it.’

‘Oh.’ Sam settled back and took a large gulp of her drink. She noticed Jack doing the same.

In the end, Sam found herself secretly enjoying the antics of the mock SG1 team. She snorted at some of the technobabble, laughed at Jack’s horrified expression when the Colonel in the show fumbled with his weapon and when Teal’c declared the best character the silent robot. They tore the show to shreds over dinner.

It seemed like no time had passed at all before Jack was shrugging into his leather jacket and ushering Teal’c to the front door.

Sam felt another quiver of nervousness as she saw them to the door. Jack let her hug Teal’c first and the Jaffa obligingly left them alone, disappearing down the pathway to Jack’s truck.

‘You going to be OK?’ Jack asked, adjusting his collar.

‘I’ll be fine, sir.’ Sam assured him. Her eyes softened. ‘Thanks for coming over.’

Jack nodded. ‘If you need anything…’

‘I’ll call.’ She promised.

‘OK.’ Jack held her gaze. ‘I’ll call you first thing for the security check.’ He gave a small smile. ‘Get some rest.’

She smiled weakly back and waved as he walked away. She closed the door and locked it securely. Suddenly the house seemed too silent again. She shook the feeling away and went to clear up.

Her nightly routine settled her and she climbed under the covers of her bed, surprised to feel tired. She closed her eyes.

A creak startled her and she fumbled for the light. She climbed out of bed and checked the house. Nothing. It must have been the wind, Sam determined, feeling a little foolish. She retrieved her gun and went back to bed. She placed the gun on her bedside table before she snuggled back under the covers.

The lights were still on, she realised drowsily as her eyes closed. It wouldn’t hurt just this once, Sam decided; it wouldn’t hurt just this once to sleep with the lights on and keep the monsters away.

o-O-o

‘Daniel.’ Catherine’s voice surprised the archaeologist into looking up from the book he was reading.

‘I’m sorry.’ Daniel said apologetically, blinking in the dim light of the single reading lamp as Catherine sat down opposite him in a matching comfy chair. ‘I didn’t mean to disturb you.’

‘I couldn’t sleep.’ Catherine waved his apology away. She pointed at the book. ‘The Odyssey.’

He lifted the copy reverently. ‘I don’t get the chance to read it in Greek very often.’

Catherine smiled sadly. ‘It was one of Ernest’s favourites.’

‘I can see why.’ Daniel mused out loud and caught Catherine’s surprised face. ‘Oh, because of the similarities between Homer’s Odysseus and Ernest. Both gone for years and both trying to get home to their loved one.’

Catherine tugged the woollen wrap more firmly around her cotton night dress. ‘I fear Ernest didn’t have so many adventures.’

It was Daniel’s turn to look at her with questioning surprise.

‘Ernest admitted to me once that at first he stayed by the Stargate hoping help would come.’ Catherine explained. ‘But then as the days and months went by he realised that he was on his own. He’d discovered the device and was fascinated with it so he stayed day after day, putting off going in search of help on the planet. He convinced himself that as the ruins had been abandoned long ago, the planet must be uninhabited.’

‘It was in his journal.’ Daniel admitted. ‘He explored just far enough to find food and water.’

Catherine nodded. ‘Yet he could have walked away; explored the planet. Perhaps even found a civilisation.’

Daniel stayed silent, unsure what to say.

‘I would have wished that for him.’ Catherine looked toward the picture beside her, picking it up and tracing over Ernest’s features fondly. ‘To have moved on with his life.’

‘It’s not that easy.’ Daniel remarked, thinking of his own life.

‘No.’ Catherine nodded. She looked down at the photo. ‘When I lost him that first time I was certain I would never survive the pain or find another to love.’ Her fingers tightened on the frame. ‘Of course, all the things they say are true; time heals and you learn to love again.’

‘But you never remarried?’ Daniel questioned gently.

Catherine shook her head. ‘There was another when I was younger but as our wedding date approached it was clear that he intended for me to give up my work.’

‘And you weren’t prepared to do that.’ Daniel stated.

‘I told myself that if he loved me, he would not make such a request.’ Catherine gave a huff of laughter. ‘And later I realised that the reason why I had fallen for him was only because I missed Ernest.’ She shifted in the chair. ‘By the time I was next ready to think about love, there was the Stargate.’ She looked at him sympathetically. ‘You grieve for Sha’re still.’

Daniel felt tears prick the back of his eyes and he averted his gaze. ‘I can’t seem to get past it. I’m not sure I’m ever going to love anyone the way I loved her.’

‘Of course not.’ Catherine tutted at him. ‘When you fall in love again, Daniel, you will love them for who they are just as you loved Sha’re for who she was.’

‘I know but…’ Daniel stopped, unwilling to admit his deepest fears; that he wasn’t sure he could ever risk loving someone the way he had loved Sha’re. He sighed. ‘You know I envied Ernest once. How he was able to keep you with him all that time.’

‘It wasn’t me, Daniel.’ Catherine pointed out. ‘It was an illusion of me.’ She smiled. ‘Those first months were hard at times because he would confuse us and oh, how I envied her; the illusion he had created of me. She was so perfect and he seemed to love her so much.’

‘She was you.’ Daniel said confused.

‘But that’s my point, Daniel. She wasn’t.’ Catherine smiled sadly. ‘Just as he wasn’t the Ernest I had immortalised in my memory. Do you remember when we met?’

‘I’m not likely to forget it.’ Daniel smiled. ‘It changed my life.’

‘You reminded me so much of Ernest.’ Catherine said. ‘Your intelligence and your passion. Your desire to explore and learn.’

Daniel looked away from her. ‘I’m not sure I’m the same man I was.’

‘You’ve changed.’ Catherine agreed. ‘As we all change but let me ask you; if you were to go back in time and I was to offer you the same opportunity again today would you say no, knowing what you know now?’

‘I don’t know.’ Daniel said slowly. ‘Maybe the Goa’uld wouldn’t have attacked Earth.’

‘Well, you know that’s not true.’ Catherine reprimanded him. ‘The other reality you visited proved that.’

‘Sha’re would have been better off if she had never met me.’ The words tumbled out of him unwillingly.

‘I rather doubt Sha’re would have thought the same.’ Catherine said softly.

‘No.’ Daniel blinked back tears. ‘Sometimes,’ he admitted, ‘it’s as though Sha’re’s memory is slipping from my mind like sand through my fingers.’ He looked down at the book. ‘I miss her.’

‘I miss Ernest terribly too.’ Catherine reached over and he clasped her outstretched hand. She squeezed it gently before she let go. ‘You should get some sleep. Your flight leaves early.’

Daniel nodded and closed the book. He followed her up the stairs and wished her goodnight on the landing. He went into the guest room and climbed into bed. He lay awake staring at the ceiling, turning over Catherine’s words in his head.

‘If you were to go back in time and I was to offer you the same opportunity again today would you say no, knowing what you know now?’

He frowned, his mind drifting back. He had no real idea why he had said yes to Catherine all those years before. He knew it had little to do with a love of exploration.

Money.

That had been part of it. He’d been at the end of his funds.

Intellectual curiosity.

Sure; that had also played its part.

Because he had nowhere else to go…

He feared his last thought was the absolute truth of the matter.

It was a thought that stayed with him as he said goodbye to Catherine and as he travelled back to Colorado the next day. It was raining as he stumbled from the car and into the mountain. He shook his head sending droplets of spray flying from his hair.

‘Daniel.’

‘Jack?’ Daniel removed his rain-splattered glasses and blinked at Jack’s blurry image.

Jack was brushing himself off. ‘Raining is it?’ He asked caustically.

‘What are you doing here?’ Daniel asked confused.

‘I work here.’ Jack replied.

‘No, I mean…’ Daniel’s words were arrested with a violent sneeze. He felt a pack of tissues hit his chest and he quickly opened them up as he felt his glasses plucked from his hands. He wiped his nose with one and stuffed it in his pocket. He blinked as Jack handed him his glasses back. He put them back on and peered out at Jack smirking. He sighed even as he felt his delight at how the other man had clearly been waiting to greet him.

‘Come on.’ Jack clasped his shoulder. ‘We have a briefing in twenty minutes.’

They passed through security and entered the elevator.

‘How was Catherine?’ Jack asked, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his BDU pants.

‘You know.’ Daniel said quietly and Jack nodded; if it was one of the things that Jack understood well it was grief. ‘She was going to go and stay with her niece for a while.’

‘Good.’ Jack declared. He paused. ‘I mean, good that she’s staying with someone.’

‘Jack.’

‘Daniel.’

‘Do you ever regret going through the Stargate that first time to Abydos?’ Daniel asked.

Jack shot him a look. ‘No.’

‘No?’

‘No.’

‘Just no?’ Daniel questioned in exasperation.

They glared at each other.

Jack sighed and looked away, staring at the floor indicator. ‘I don’t regret going to Abdyos, Daniel.’

‘Even though we started the war with the Goa’uld?’ Daniel asked tentatively.

Jack looked at him and Daniel flushed under the suddenly contemplative gaze the military man wore.

‘I’m not sure there was a choice, Daniel. I’m not sure Ra would ever have given us a choice.’ Jack said firmly, without any hint of levity. He shuffled a little. ‘There’s no point dwelling on it. What’s done is done; we just have to deal with it.’

‘It’s just…we never seem to make a difference.’ Daniel argued softly. No matter how many Goa’ulds they defeated, there always seemed to be one more.

‘We make a difference.’ Jack disagreed sincerely.

Daniel nodded slowly.

The elevator halted and the doors slid open. They walked out to the briefing room and Daniel dumped his bag in a chair as he joined Jack by the window overlooking the Stargate.

Sam’s reflection appeared in the glass and Daniel watched as Jack turned to greet her.

‘Major.’

‘Colonel.’ She halted beside them.

‘Great view, huh, Major?’ Jack commented, waving out at the Stargate as it turned dialling a number to another world. A team stood ready in the gate room to ship out. The wormhole engaged, casting everything in its blue radiance.

‘Fabulous, sir.’

‘See any fluctuations in the event horizon, Carter?’ Jack asked teasingly.

Daniel wondered at the comment and the faint blush that coloured Sam’s cheeks.

Teal’c entered the briefing room and Jack waved him over.

‘Nice of you to join us, Teal’c.’ Jack said.

Teal’c raised an eyebrow. ‘Indeed.’

They watched as the team walked confidently up the ramp and into the blue puddle; as it disappeared with a blink and the iris reengaged.

Daniel felt his lips lift into a smile, Catherine’s words running back through his head.

‘If you were to go back in time and I was to offer you the same opportunity again today would you say no, knowing what you know now?’

Maybe he was uncertain of the future but he was certain about one thing; he wouldn’t change his past; he wouldn’t change being part of SG1.

Behind them, Hammond cleared his throat. ‘If you’re all ready.’

Jack looked at his team; Sam nodded briskly, Teal’c inclined his head solemnly and Daniel…Daniel smiled back confidently.

Jack turned back to the General. ‘We’re ready, sir.’

Hammond’s pale blue eyes warmed and his ruddy face broke into a smile. ‘Take your seats, SG1.’

fin.