Storytime with Rachel F Hundred

‘Are you eating that or playing with it?’ Daniel Jackson asked as he slipped into the chair opposite his SG1 team-mate and set his dinner tray down on the table.

Captain Samantha Carter looked up at him and attempted a smile. ‘To be honest,’ she said poking at her food, ‘I’m not sure what it is.’

Daniel gave a sympathetic grin and started in on his own dinner. The commissary food wasn’t exactly haute cuisine but it was hot, edible and probably better than anything he could produce in the kitchen of the apartment he had just rented. Of course, producing something in a kitchen meant actually keeping food there and he made a mental note that he really should visit a grocery store the next time he left the base.

Sam threw her fork down and reached for the fruit salad she’d chosen as dessert. She pushed a segment of orange onto her spoon. ‘Daniel?’

‘Hmmm?’

‘You’ve been dead before right? I mean before this time with the Nox.’

Daniel slowed in shovelling the stew he had chosen into his mouth. ‘Uh…yeah. I guess.’ He waved his fork at her. ‘I died on Ra’s ship.’

Sam leaned forward. ‘Is it…usual not to remember anything?’

Daniel chewed carefully and swallowed. ‘What do you mean?’

The Captain gave a large sigh. ‘I just…I don’t remember anything.’ She pointed her spoon at him. ‘All I remember is getting shot, vaguely thinking ‘I’m shot’ and the next thing I know I’m waking up in the hut.’

‘Me too.’ Daniel murmured.

‘What about when it happened to you before?’

‘On Ra’s ship?’ Daniel’s sight turned inward as he cast his mind back. ‘I remember getting hit.’ His nose wrinkled. ‘I remember very clearly being surprised and the next thing I remember is waking up in the sarcophagus.’

Sam fidgeted with her spoon. ‘So that it’s then?’

‘Pretty much.’

‘No, I mean, if you didn’t remember anything that time between dying and coming back and we all don’t remember anything now…’ Her voice trailed away.

Daniel forked up more of his dinner. He had a feeling he was going to need the energy.

‘That must be it.’ Sam said her blue eyes meeting his across the table almost defiantly. ‘Death must be just…nothing.’ She shifted in her chair and attacked her fruit salad.

Daniel watched her concentrate on eating and breathed a small sigh of relief as he dug back into his own food. Usually if Sam was trying to work something out she was like a dog with a bone and wouldn’t let go until she had an acceptable answer, and despite his prior experience, he had been freaked out by their miraculous return from the dead on the mission and didn’t want to think about it too much.

‘I just can’t believe that that’s it.’ Sam muttered.

Daniel’s heart sank. ‘Maybe it’s best not to think about it.’ He offered.

‘You’re right.’ Sam nodded at him. ‘You’re right.’

Both of them turned back to their food.

‘It’s just that…’ Sam began after a while.

Daniel resisted the urge to sigh heavily and instead forced himself to meet Sam’s intent blue eyes. She obviously wasn’t going to let it drop.

‘…I’ve looked up some near death experiences on the internet for comparison…’

‘For comparison?’ Daniel checked. He almost smiled. Trust Sam to take a scientific approach to the question of whether their experience was typical or not.

‘There’s a lot of commonality in the reports on the internet.’ Sam licked her spoon and gestured with it. ‘Most people detail travelling through a tunnel, a bright light.’ Her gaze dropped to her dessert. ‘Relatives waiting.’

‘And we didn’t experience any of that?’ Daniel mused thoughtfully. He shrugged. ‘There are a lot of people who don’t believe that those reports are accurate. A lot of scientists believe it’s nothing more than a psychological side-effect of the medical treatment used to restart the heart.’

‘Yeah, I read that.’ Sam said. ‘So you’re saying that as we were brought back using completely different medical techniques that maybe that’s why we didn’t experience it?’

‘Maybe.’ Daniel frowned. ‘We don’t have anything like the sarcophagus and I’m not sure what the Nox did.’

‘No.’ Sam agreed. ‘I’ve never seen anything like it.’ She sighed. ‘I know more advanced technology looks like magic but that ritual they did…’

‘Just looked like magic.’ Daniel concluded. He swallowed a mouthful of food. ‘I’m not sure technology had much to do with it. As a species they seemed to have developed some pretty powerful mind techniques, I mean I think they learnt our language straight out of our heads and there’s the whole invisibility thing.’

‘Come on, Daniel,’ Sam argued, ‘you can’t believe that was just them. There had to be some kind of technology involved.’

‘Why?’ Daniel asked bluntly.

‘You saw their floating city, Daniel. They’re obviously very technologically advanced.’

‘But that doesn’t mean that their abilities were all down to technology.’ Daniel insisted passionately. ‘Is it so unbelievable that their race just advanced their physiology to a point where they developed those abilities naturally?’

‘I don’t know, Daniel.’ Sam said spooning up more fruit. ‘It just seems unlikely to me.’

‘There are a number of studies around on telepathy, telekinesis and psychic abilities…’

‘But nothing that has ever been proven definitively.’ Sam argued.

‘Haven’t you ever taken anything on faith before?’ Daniel asked. He was surprised when Sam flinched as though he had struck her. ‘I’m sorry.’ He immediately apologised although not entirely certain what for. He tried a smile. ‘I get a little carried away…’

‘It’s OK, Daniel.’ Sam sighed and laid her spoon down. ‘You’re right. I don’t normally take things on faith. I like having proof.’

‘Normally?’ Daniel focused on the word she’d used. ‘So there is something you take on faith?’

She fiddled with the spoon before her blue eyes pinned his again. ‘Do you believe in God?’

‘I take it you mean the God as opposed to someone with glowing eyes and a megalomania complex?’ Daniel asked.

She nodded.

Daniel pushed his food around the plate. ‘I don’t know. I guess I believe there’s something more than,’ he gestured at the mess, ‘this. And I like to think someone’s looking out for us.’ He scanned her face. ‘I wouldn’t have pegged you as being religious.’ It didn’t seem to match the science ethos she held to so firmly.

‘My mom was…’ her voice trailed away abruptly again.

‘Your mom?’ Daniel prompted.

Sam sighed. ‘She died when I was in high school.’

‘I’m sorry.’ Daniel said gently. ‘I know what that’s like.’

She looked at him questioningly.

‘Oh, I lost both my parents when I was little.’ Daniel said waving his fork at her.

‘I’m sorry, Daniel.’ She said automatically and gave him an apologetic smile.

Daniel pushed his glasses up his nose. ‘So your mom was religious?’

Sam nodded. ‘She insisted we go to church every Sunday and attend Sunday school.’ Her face softened. ‘I remember when I was little she would wait until I said my prayers before tucking me in and kissing me goodnight.’ She sighed. ‘When she died…I always found it comforting thinking she was in heaven looking after me.’ She blushed a little. ‘Silly, I know.’

‘No, not at all.’ Daniel said feeling as though he was on the verge of understanding what was really bothering her. His mind suddenly clicked over what she had said earlier, that people with near death experiences often saw relatives waiting. ‘That’s what this is about isn’t it?’

She looked at him blankly.

‘You thought your mom would be waiting for you when you died.’ Daniel deduced.

Sam nodded slowly. ‘I’ve always believed when I died she would be there for me.’ She pulled a face. ‘And now I know that’s not true.’

‘How do you know?’ Daniel said catching her unhappy gaze.

‘Well, I died and I don’t remember seeing her.’ Sam said.

‘Exactly.’ He said giving an approving nod as though she was a student who had just solved a particularly difficult problem.

Sam stared at him confused.

Daniel motioned at her with his cutlery. ‘Don’t you see? You don’t remember.’

Her face screwed up in thought as she turned his words over in her head. ‘So you think we might have had the experience of whatever happens after death, like my mom being there, but we just don’t remember it?’

‘Maybe.’ Daniel said. ‘I don’t know. Maybe there is no life after death or maybe there is and having your memory of it erased is part of the price of being brought back.’

‘I think I like the last theory better.’ Sam said thoughtfully.

Daniel leaned in conspiratorially. ‘Me too.’

Sam smiled suddenly. ‘Thanks, Daniel.’ She pulled a face. ‘I guess dying freaked me out more than I thought it would.’

‘I think it freaked General Hammond out too when we raised it in the debriefing.’ Daniel commented.

‘What freaked General Hammond out?’ Jack O’Neill slid his tray on the table and sat down next to Sam as the fourth member of SG1, Teal’c, took the seat next to Daniel.

‘Us dying.’ Daniel said determinedly stuffing another forkful of food in his mouth.

‘Ah.’ Jack nodded sagely. The General had turned a peculiar shade of red at that particular point of the debrief.

‘You have to admit the whole mission was a little bizarre from the General’s point of view.’ Sam commented gesturing. ‘A disappearing Stargate, Apophis, us dying and being brought back from the dead, the Nox…’

‘Don’t forget the flying city, Captain.’ Jack said nudging her, his brown eyes twinkling.

‘No, sir.’ She couldn’t repress the smile that tugged at her lips in response to the childlike glee in his voice.

‘It was floating, not flying.’ Daniel contradicted him.

‘Flying, Daniel.’ Jack insisted.

‘Floating.’ Daniel said stressing both syllables.

‘It was flying.’ Jack turned to the young Air Force Captain sat beside him. ‘You’ll back me up on this won’t you Carter?’

Sam looked from the Colonel’s expectant face to Daniel’s beseeching blue eyes and back again. ‘I think…’ she slipped out of her chair, ‘I should make a start on that report on the personal force shield Apophis was using.’ She said quickly. ‘Bye.’

‘Hey!’ Jack called after her as she hurried away. He made a face and turned back to his food. ‘I still say it was flying.’

Daniel sighed. ‘I don’t think it matters.’ He admitted. ‘It’s not like we can go back and check.’

Jack heard the forlorn note in the younger man’s voice and winced. Their experience with the Nox hadn’t exactly been a sterling success. The deceptive image of the petite and curious looking forest dwellers had led them to believe that the Nox were helpless. There was nothing that indicated that they were technologically advanced. ‘There was no way we could have known, Daniel.’

‘I know.’ Daniel put his cutlery down and reached for his mug of coffee. ‘I just wish…’

‘I know.’ Jack said. ‘Still, it’s like you said in the debriefing it’s good that we know they are more highly advanced races than the Goa’uld out there.’ He gestured. ‘Next time, we just have to find a way not to…’ he struggled to find the right words.

‘Piss them off?’ Daniel suggested.

‘Language, Daniel.’ Jack chided him. ‘And yes, next time we have to find a way not to piss them off.’ He caught Teal’c’s raised inquisitive eyebrow. ‘Annoy them, anger them, make them mad at us.’

‘I see.’ Teal’c said returning his attention to his food.

‘I don’t think they were annoyed at us. Not really.’ Daniel said taking a gulp of his drink. ‘More like they just thought we were too…too…’

‘Young?’ Jack said delicately.

‘Young,’ echoed Daniel miserably. ‘You know I think you were right.’

‘You do? I was?’ Jack said surprised. ‘When?’

‘Your statement to the Secretary.’ Daniel murmured by way of explanation.

Jack blinked at him. ‘Exactly which statement was that again?’

‘I believe Daniel Jackson is referring to the one where you pointed out that races with technology more advanced than your own do not like to share, O’Neill.’ Teal’c said.

‘Oh.’ Jack sat back in his chair. ‘That statement.’

Daniel pushed a hand through his brown hair. ‘I mean, if you take the Nox as an example, obviously that level of advancement came with some enlightenment about the universe. I think it’s very likely that advanced races won’t want to share what they have with us because they’ll consider us too warlike, or primitive even, or too…too…young, and if they do want to share with us, what will that say about their ethics and values?’ His blue eyes darted from Teal’c to Jack. ‘Will we want to ally ourselves with races who would disregard that?’

‘If it means getting our hands on a great, big, honking space gun, I’ve voting yes, Daniel.’ Jack said scraping his plate clean.

‘Didn’t you learn anything from the Nox?’ Daniel asked exasperated.

‘Not to judge a book by its cover.’ Jack shot back. ‘Don’t make assumptions.’ He gestured with his knife. ‘And all other first impression clichés.’

‘How about the very young do not always do what they’re told?’

‘Which relates to this, how?’

‘Jack…’

‘Daniel.’

Teal’c stood up effectively ending the argument as the attention of both men diverted to their friend.

‘You OK, Teal’c?’ Jack asked concerned.

‘I believe I need further rest to allow my symbiote to fully heal the wound I sustained on the planet, O’Neill.’

‘Well, Doc Fraiser did say you should take it easy.’ Jack agreed.

‘I will return to my quarters.’ Teal’c bowed and departed before Jack could reply.

‘Has he seemed a little quiet to you since we came back?’ Daniel asked.

Jack shrugged. Teal’c was a quiet guy but maybe he had seemed a little more subdued than usual. ‘It can’t have been easy for him running into Apophis again,’ he said thinking out loud, ‘and there was all that business with that Jaffa Shickel.’

‘Shak’l.’ Daniel corrected.

‘Him.’ Jack agreed.

‘I guess.’ Daniel mused. His brow furrowed. ‘He doesn’t talk much about his life before on Chulak.’

‘Would you?’ Jack held up a hand as Daniel opened his mouth to reply. ‘Don’t answer that.’ He waited until Daniel subsided before continuing. ‘Teal’c’s just not the talkative type, Daniel.’

Daniel sighed. ‘I guess you’re right.’ He sat back.

Jack nodded and reached for the cake he had chosen for dessert. He had taken two bites when he realised that Daniel hadn’t spoken again and he looked over at the archaeologist suspiciously. ‘What?’

‘I was just wondering if Apophis said anything to Teal’c when we were all dead.’

Jack shuddered. ‘Would you mind not saying that?’ He gestured with his fork and sent a piece of cake flying across the table to land in the middle of Daniel’s stew.

Daniel ignored the cake and smiled in amusement at Jack. ‘What? About our being dead?’

‘Yeah.’ Jack said. ‘That.’ He squirmed in his chair. ‘It just freaks me out.’

Daniel blinked in surprise. It wasn’t often Jack admitted to a weakness. ‘Well, you’re not the only one.’

‘Carter’s freaked out too, huh?’ Jack frowned remembering the conversation he’d interrupted when he’d sat down.

‘And me.’ Daniel said.

‘You?’ Jack said taken aback.

‘Why are you so surprised?’ Daniel demanded.

‘Well, you have been through this before.’ Jack noted.

‘Once before.’ Daniel said defensively.

‘Twice now and that’s twice more than most people.’ Jack pointed out.

‘I don’t think that makes me an expert on coming back from the dead.’ Daniel grumbled folding his arms across his chest. ‘I don’t intend to make a habit of it.’

Jack shrugged easily. ‘I’d rather not think about it.’ His tone had a note of finality.

Daniel nodded fervently. He reached for his mug and realised it was empty. He sighed. ‘I guess I should get back to work.’

Jack looked at the last bite of cake sitting in Daniel’s stew and contemplated rescuing it before he threw his fork down. ‘I’m done too.’

The two men separated at the door of the commissary. Jack headed off down the corridor to take the stairs and Daniel took the elevator intending to head to his office and start work on an idea that was playing in his head. If the Goa’uld were advanced enough to visit Earth in the past, he thought, and there were other races out there more advanced than the Goa’uld…it was just possible that they might have visited Earth too. There was a lot of ‘Gods’ in the history of the planet and a staggering amount of mythology around. If he did a systematic search he might just uncover something.

Daniel’s footsteps slowed as he realised he’d been so deep in thought that he had somehow gotten off the elevator at the wrong level. He stopped and got his bearings. He was right outside Teal’c’s quarters. He frowned and sighed. Obviously his subconscious had directed him to where it wanted to go. He hesitated for a moment. Nobody had seen him; the corridor was empty. He could leave and nobody would know that he had been there. He sighed and thrust a hand through the long strands of his hair. He took the two remaining steps to the door and knocked.

Teal’c opened it and blinked. ‘Daniel Jackson.’

‘Teal’c.’ Daniel shuffled awkwardly. ‘Can I come in?’

Teal’c stepped back and Daniel hastened into the small room. He stopped entranced at the sight of so many lit candles.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said gesturing at the semi-circle on the floor, ‘am I interrupting something?’

‘I was about to perform a deep meditation to allow my symbiote to heal my body more effectively.’ Teal’c explained.

‘Oh.’ Daniel glanced at the semi-circle of candles and realised that he had interrupted. ‘I won’t keep you from…’ he motioned at the candles, ‘I was just curious about something.’ His blue eyes met Teal’c’s in the flickering candlelight. ‘After we…uh…died…did you speak with Apophis at all?’

Teal’c straightened and his face became grave. ‘I did.’

‘I don’t suppose he happened to mention Sha’re?’ Daniel asked refusing to acknowledge the small ball of hope in the pit of his stomach.

Teal’c’s mind flew back to the moment in the forest; Apophis had stood in front of him his gold armour glistening and his dark eyes glaring at him with contempt. ‘He did not.’ The Jaffa said with regret.

Daniel attempted a smile and failed. He wrapped his arms around his torso. ‘I figured he probably hadn’t but…I just…I thought…I’d check, just in…’ his throat closed on the words.

‘I am sorry, Daniel Jackson.’ Teal’c said softly. ‘I had hoped our plan to capture Apophis would provide you with valuable information regarding the fate of Sha’re.’

Daniel waved a hand at him and ignored the sudden press of tears against the back of his eyes. ‘It’s not your fault, Teal’c.’ He took a moment to collect himself. ‘I’d better leave you to your meditation.’ He took a step towards the door and turned back suddenly. ‘What did Apophis say to you?’

Teal’c stiffened imperceptibly and stared at a point on the far wall. ‘He called me shol’var.’

Daniel frowned; he didn’t recognise the word.

Teal’c glanced over and saw the confusion on the linguist’s face.

‘Traitor.’ Teal’c clarified.

‘And what did you say to him?’ Daniel asked curious.

Teal’c’s dark eyes snapped to his. ‘I told him I would die free.’

‘Oh.’ Daniel’s quick mind painted the scene of the Jaffa, alone in a field of fallen team-mates, faced off against a parasitic alien that had once been a God to him and prepared to die. He wondered if he would have had the courage to face Apophis in Teal’c’s place. He gave an embarrassed smile as he realised he’d remained silent for too long. ‘I guess it was a short conversation.’

‘Indeed.’ Teal’c murmured.

Daniel pointed at the door. ‘Well, I’ll just…’ his hand grasped the handle. ‘Teal’c.’ He whirled back around to face the Jaffa. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever said thank you.’

‘For what, Daniel Jackson?’ Teal’c asked puzzled.

‘For saving our lives on Chulak.’ Daniel said. ‘For joining us in fighting Apophis.’ He paused. ‘For helping me try to find Sha’re.’

Teal’c couldn’t speak. He wasn’t sure he would ever find the words to reply to the younger man or understand the generosity of spirit that had led to the sudden declaration.

‘So…just in case I die again sometime in the near future,’ Daniel gave another nervous smile, ‘thank you.’ He pushed his glasses back up his nose.

Teal’c bowed his head.

Daniel nodded jerkily and left. He closed the door firmly behind him and set back off towards the elevator. His heart felt lighter than it had in a long time. He had a strange feeling that the Nox would be proud of him and he knew without a doubt that somewhere, somehow, Sha’re would be proud of him too.

fin.