Storytime with Rachel F Hundred

Captain Samantha Carter took one step into the room and lowered the box she held to the bench in front of her with dismay. There were boxes everywhere. She sank onto the stool and frowned. She hadn’t requisitioned all this stuff – had she? She chewed her lip ruefully remembering the long list she had handed to General Hammond. OK, maybe she had ordered all of this stuff but come on, this was her own lab! She ran a hand over the smooth work surface and found herself grinning. Her very own lab. With the expansion of the Stargate mission to include cultural and scientific study, Hammond had informed her and Daniel Jackson that they were being assigned space; Daniel, an office and Carter, a lab. She sighed as her blue eyes counted up the number of boxes. Maybe she should ask the guys for help. No. The automatic response was ingrained. She could manage on her own; she just needed to figure out where to start.

Her eyes landed on the box she had carried in and she opened it up. The stack of books and notes had been taking up space at the bottom of her locker since she’d transferred from the Pentagon. She reached in and started to unpack. Reference books on astronomy competed with tomes on quantum physics. Her hand closed on a small black book. She smoothed a hand over the cover. Jonas’s bible. The Colonel had handed it to her at the end of their last mission a few days before and she had thrown it into her locker unsure what to do with it. Her fingers traced over the faded gilt title and opened it. Jonas Hansen. The neatly stencilled name gave her pause and her mind flashed back to the planet, of the angry mob surrounding the crazed man and carrying him like a relentless stream to the Stargate with its open wormhole to Earth. The locals Jonas has terrorised had thrown him in and, without the transmission of an accompanying identification code, Jonas had died on impact with the closed iris that protected the SGC. It had been a brutal way to die and one she would not have wished upon her worst enemy never mind a man she had once agreed to marry. Why had she done that again?

Sam shivered and dropped the bible back into the box. She turned away and opened up the box on the counter next to it. Another stack of books stared up at her. She started to unpack them into a cupboard. She had met Jonas when they had both been on assignment to the Pentagon. A chance meeting at a joint briefing that led to their first date at one of the fashionable Washington bars. Jonas had been charming, witty and surprisingly romantic. There had been an age difference which hadn’t worried Sam. He was an experienced military man with a good reputation and a mysterious background in black ops. She’d recognised early on that Jonas had a dangerous edge about him but she figured it was more than offset by the vulnerability she occasionally glimpsed. She had literally been swept off her feet by him and had eagerly agreed to the proposal after only a few months of dating. She had been so naïvely sure that their love would chase away the last of Jonas’s demons. How wrong she’d been.

It had been little things at first, she thought as she moved on to another box. The choice of the restaurant for dinner; a remark about the dress she wore; a buried insult in something meant to be a compliment; a complaint about her working late again. They were small things that she had absently responded to without realising how she was changing to accommodate his wishes, his needs and subjugating her own while her confidence eroded. Eventually, small things became big things. Jonas’s disapproval began to manifest itself in flashes of anger where he’d throw things across the room and break things until she gave into his tantrums at the subtle threat of violence. Then Jonas had gone on a long mission. He had been away two months; long enough for her to gain some perspective and realise how much control she had handed over to him. She flushed when she remembered that she had given up that control without a murmur of protest; she had thought herself stronger than that. Well, she had been strong enough to recognise it and put a stop to it. When Jonas returned, she had handed him his ring back and told him that she couldn’t marry him.

He had hit her.

An unexpected backhanded slap that had sent her sprawling across the floor of his apartment. Her hand crept to the more recent bruise Jonas had given her on the mission when he had lashed out after she had kicked his gun from his hand. Her cheek was still sore much like it had been that first time in his apartment only then she hadn’t been with her team on a mission, she had been on her own and what had followed had been the most terrifying hour of her life. She shuddered. He had kept her hostage in the apartment while he ranted and raved at her, how she wouldn’t leave him, how it was his decision when it was over. He had circled her the whole time, sometimes coming close enough to yell in her ear, other times to whisper. There had been madness in his eyes and she had seriously feared for her life. But suddenly he had seemed to come to his senses; he had told her to get out. It had taken all her courage to walk out rather than to run. She had considered reporting him but she had just wanted to forget the whole experience. In the week that followed the break-up, she had refused his calls and binned the flowers he had sent as an apology.

Their next meeting had been in the corridors of the SGC. The Jonas who had greeted her had been something of a changed man; remorseful of his past behaviour and more at peace with himself. She had accepted his unequivocal apology and agreed that it would be best for them to be civil. He had even told her he hoped he would regain enough of her trust to be friends one day. Sam had been encouraged but she couldn’t deny there had been a tremendous amount of relief when she had heard the news that his team, SG9, were to spend an extended period of stay on one planet to perform an anthropological study.

‘I like what you’ve done with the place.’

Sam almost dropped the spectroscope she was holding and whirled to face the doorway.

Colonel Jack O’Neill looked back at her with concern. ‘Sorry, Carter. I didn’t mean to startle you.’ He said slowly taking in the momentary flash of fear in the Captain’s eyes.

‘Sir.’ She placed the instrument on her work counter and tried to get her racing heartbeat back to normal. ‘I was just engrossed.’ She waved at the boxes.

‘So I see.’ He picked up an object and examined it. ‘What is all of this stuff anyway?’

‘Equipment.’ Sam hurried over and relieved him of the electronic sensor. ‘That’s fragile, sir.’

His brown eyes gleamed with amusement. ‘Anybody would think you don’t trust me, Captain.’

‘I trust you with my life, Colonel.’ Sam said truthfully putting the sensor safely away on a shelf.

‘Just not your equipment.’ He finished smoothly.

She shot a suspicious look at his impassive face. He couldn’t mean…he couldn’t be flirting with her, could he? It was fairly unlikely; they had both been extra careful to maintain a completely professional attitude around each other since she had tried to seduce him under the influence of an alien virus especially given the infamous fight between the men of SG1 and Captain MacNally of SG4 in the locker room that had followed. She just wanted to forget the whole thing. Well, maybe not the whole thing; her CO certainly knew how to kiss…she quickly cast around for something, anything else to focus on. She suddenly registered his civilian clothes.

‘On your way home, sir?’ She asked relieved.

‘Yes. Home.’ Jack glanced around the multitude of unopened boxes. ‘I could stay if you need a hand?’

‘No, thank you, sir.’ Sam said waving vaguely at the lab. ‘It’s not really as bad as it looks.’

Jack nodded and took a step into the room to close the distance between them. ‘I do have another reason for stopping by, Captain.’

‘Sir?’

‘General Hammond has confirmed there won’t be a memorial service for Captain Hansen.’ Jack said. ‘Given the circumstances; his playing God, trying to kill us all, torturing Connor…Hammond didn’t think it was appropriate.’

‘Understandable, sir.’ Sam responded crisply.

‘Well, I just wanted to let you know.’ Jack’s eyes narrowed on her expressionless face.

‘Thank you, sir.’

He frowned at her polite tone. ‘Are you OK with…’ he gestured unsure how to frame his question and settled for vagueness, ‘everything?’

Sam nodded. ‘I’m fine, sir.’

Jack looked at her for a long moment. He was beginning to learn that hiding underneath the layers of competent Air Force Captain and scientific genius, there was an intriguingly quirky woman and he didn’t think she was fine. He didn’t need the tension lines on her face, the shadows in her eyes, or the faint bruise on her cheek from where Hansen had smacked her to tell him that. He felt anew the flare of anger at the latter. It didn’t matter how many times he told himself that Carter was a military officer seeing Hansen hit her had roused every protective male instinct in him. At least he’d stopped her ex-fiancé from killing her. He repressed the urge to sigh and dragged his mind back to his original line of thought. No, his young Captain definitely wasn’t fine. No normal sane person would be fine with what she was dealing with especially given Hansen’s messy end; there had to be a lot of mixed emotions going on. Not that she was evidently going to confide in him.

He didn’t blame her. He doubted he would have confided in his CO if their positions were reversed. Maybe he should stop by Daniel’s quarters. She had seemed comfortable enough answering Daniel’s questions about her relationship with Hansen on the planet. His decision was made.

‘Well, don’t stay up all night unpacking.’ He cautioned her. ‘We have a mission first thing tomorrow morning to P3X5…uh…’ his mind came up blank.

Sam smiled at him. ‘P3X562. I won’t forget, sir.’ She said. ‘Night.’

‘Night, Carter.’

She watched him leave and gave a sigh of relief before turning back to her unpacking.

o-O-o

‘Hey.’

Sam wriggled out of the cupboard and looked up at Daniel who was stood next to her. ‘Hey.’

‘I wondered if you wanted to grab some dinner.’ Daniel said.

Sam looked around. She had made a decent dent into the unopened boxes but if she worked through she figured she could be finished in a couple of hours. Her stomach growled suddenly and very audibly.

Daniel raised an eyebrow.

Sam grinned. ‘Guess my answer’s yes.’ She stood up and dusted off her pants.

‘Actually I was hoping to ask your advice.’ Daniel said as they headed to the commissary. ‘You lived in Colorado Springs before, right?’

‘Yeah. For a couple of years.’

‘I’m thinking about getting an apartment.’

‘Well, I guess you can’t live on base forever.’ Sam teased.

Daniel smiled. ‘Guess not.’

‘Are you going to rent or buy?’ Sam asked idly as they got into the elevator.

‘Rent.’ Daniel shook his head and stuffed his hands in his pockets. ‘When I find Sha’re we’ll go back to Abydos.’

Sam glanced across at the archaeologist and bit her lip. She knew there was no point telling Daniel about the improbability of finding Sha’re, of finding a way to remove the Goa’uld from her, of returning his wife to him just the way he remembered her for them to resume their lives together. She knew he knew the facts as well as she did and to remind him would simply be cruel. ‘Well, there’s some great apartments downtown in some of the older buildings. You’d probably like them.’

‘That sounds good.’ Daniel murmured.

‘I would start there if I were you.’ Sam said. ‘I could come with you to look if you want.’

‘That would be great.’ Daniel said. ‘I was thinking of taking Teal’c too.’

‘Teal’c?’ Sam asked as they exited the elevator and headed down the corridor.

‘I kinda feel bad for him.’ Daniel admitted a little sheepishly. ‘He hasn’t been off base since he got here.’

Sam hid a smile and refrained from noting the same could be said for Daniel. She was pleased at his comment though. Daniel and Teal’c seemed to be moving past the Jaffa’s role in Sha’re’s predicament. ‘Why don’t I speak with the General? I’m sure we could work something out.’

They swapped apartment and moving day horror stories over dinner. Sam started in on her dessert with enthusiasm. Daniel was good company and the uncomplicated subject they had stuck to had allowed her to relax a little.

Daniel watched as she spooned up another lump of blue jello and wondered what she saw in the stuff. He reached for his coffee and wondered how he broached the subject of Hansen. He shifted uncomfortably, his mind slipping back to Jack’s visit to his quarters…

‘Jack.’ Daniel stared at the older man stood outside his door. Since their return from Chulak he could count the times Jack had sought him out off duty on the fingers of one hand.

‘Daniel.’ Jack raised his eyebrows. ‘Are you going to let me in?’

‘Ah…sure.’ Daniel waved him into the room.

Jack looked at the cluttered room. Books were stacked in one corner, the desk was littered with papers and there were artefacts on every other available surface. Jack’s attention snagged on a photo frame on the bedside table and he picked it up surprised to see a still of Sha’re.

‘Sam printed it off the video from Abydos.’ Daniel said quietly, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Jack put the photo back down. ‘It’s a great photo.’

‘Yeah.’ Daniel agreed. Until he found Sha’re again, it was all he had to remember his wife apart from his memories.

‘So.’ Jack straightened.

‘So.’ Daniel repeated.

They stared at each other.

Daniel sighed. ‘Jack, you came to see me.’

‘Right.’ Jack rocked back on his heels. ‘Hammond decided not to have a memorial service for Hansen.’

‘I guess that’s not too surprising given the whole pretending to be a god thing.’ Daniel noted.

Jack wandered over to the book case and picked up a statue. ‘Don’t forget the trying to kill us part.’

‘Ah…Jack.’ Daniel strode across the room and plucked the figurine from Jack’s hands. ‘That’s fragile.’ He carefully replaced the statue. ‘So does Sam know?’

Jack folded his arms across his chest. ‘Yeah. I just told her.’

Daniel glanced at him. There was something in the tone of his voice. ‘How is she?’

‘She said she was fine.’ Jack said.

Daniel frowned. ‘And you accepted that?’

‘I don’t exactly have a choice, Daniel.’ Jack pointed out. ‘The regs say I can’t order her to talk to me about,’ he waved vaguely, ‘personal stuff.’

‘But you think she needs someone to talk to,’ Daniel realised, ‘and you want me to get her to talk to me.’

‘See. I knew you’d work it out.’ Jack said patting his arms and heading for the door.

‘Jack…’ Daniel followed him hastily. ‘I can’t just turn up and ask her to talk to me.’

‘So, drop by her lab and ask her to grab some dinner with you.’ Jack said.

‘She might not want to talk to me.’ He argued as Jack opened his door and stepped out.

Jack looked back over his shoulder. ‘I have every confidence in you, Daniel.’

And with that, Jack had left. Daniel sighed. Sam had been a good friend to him since he had come back from Abydos and it had been obvious since they had returned from the planet that the incident with Hansen was bothering her. If she needed a friend then he genuinely wanted to be there for her. He took a fortifying gulp of his coffee. ‘Jack dropped by on his way out.’

‘Oh?’ Sam said.

‘He told me that they’re not giving Captain Hansen a memorial service.’

Sam slowed in spooning up the dessert. ‘Yeah, he mentioned that to me too.’

Daniel’s blue eyes gleamed with compassion. ‘It can’t be easy for you.’

Sam shrugged. ‘I’m fine.’ She said digging into the jello with a renewed fervour. ‘That’s not to say I wouldn’t have liked things to have worked out differently.’

‘Well, you were engaged to the guy.’ Daniel said softly.

Sam shook herself slightly. ‘I’m sorry about the way he died but given the circumstances…I’m glad it was him that was thrown into the wormhole rather than Connor or Colonel O’Neill.’

Daniel frowned. ‘Sam…’

‘I’m fine. Really.’ She insisted.

‘If you want someone to talk to…’

‘Thanks for the offer, Daniel, but I’m OK.’ Sam said firmly. She put her spoon down leaving the dessert half-finished. ‘I’d better get back to the lab.’

‘You want some help unpacking?’ Daniel asked rising as she got to her feet.

‘No, you’re OK.’ Sam hesitated. ‘Thanks, Daniel.’

He nodded and she left before he could say anything else. He sat back down and took a gulp of his coffee as he contemplated how he told Jack that Sam wouldn’t talk to him either.

o-O-o

Sam wiped her brow and reached for the final box. Her lab was shaping up nicely, she thought with satisfaction and it wasn’t even late. She could still get a goodnight’s sleep before the mission in the morning. She pulled out a radiation monitor and set it aside.

‘Doctor Carter.’

She froze at the sound of Teal’c’s voice and sighed. First, the Colonel with his vague ‘are you OK with everything’ and then Daniel with his ‘if you want someone to talk to’. If there was one person she had been relying on not to try and console her over Jonas it was Teal’c. She turned to face him with angry resignation.

‘What, Teal’c?’ She gestured furiously at the Jaffa whose only response was to raise a questioning eyebrow. ‘Let me stop you before you even start. I’m fine, thank you for your concern. I just don’t need everyone looking at me as though I’m about to break down because I was stupid enough to get engaged to Jonas one time in my life and he turned into some kind of crazed madman and I don’t need to talk about it.’

Sam came to a breathless halt. Teal’c stared back at her nonplussed and her heart sank. ‘You didn’t come to talk to me about Jonas did you?’ She could feel the heat of the blush flooding her whole face.

‘I will return on another occasion, Doctor Carter.’ Teal’c said taking a step backwards towards the door.

‘Teal’c, wait.’ Sam sighed. ‘I’m sorry.’

Teal’c didn’t reply. He simply clasped his hands together behind his back and regarded her with a thoughtful expression.

She sank onto the stool. ‘It’s just…’ she gestured weakly. ‘The Colonel and Daniel have both been trying to get me to talk about the whole Jonas thing,’ she scowled, ‘as if I need to talk about it.’

‘But you do not.’ Teal’c stated.

‘No.’ Sam said in fervent agreement. ‘I mean there really isn’t anything to talk about.’

‘Perhaps they expect you to feel sadness at the death of Jonas Hansen.’ Teal’c commented.

‘Well, I do.’ Sam admitted. ‘Feel sad, I mean. I just…my relationship with Jonas was over a long time before this whole thing happened.’

‘I see.’ Teal’c murmured softly.

‘It wasn’t even like I regretted it being over after he…’ Sam stumbled to a halt. She couldn’t quite believe what she had been about to admit. She breathed out sharply and leaped to her feet. She paced over to a bench where she fiddled with a microscope. ‘The whole thing was just a mistake and I fixed it. I gave back the ring. Even when he got transferred here, I knew I could handle him being part of the SGC.’

Teal’c remained silent.

‘But I didn’t want to do the mission.’ She confessed. Her blue eyes shot to Teal’c’s. ‘I swear I intended to do my best though.’

‘I do not believe you are capable of anything less, Doctor Carter.’

‘Thank you, Teal’c.’ She waved a lens cap at him. ‘But, I made a right mess of it.’ She frowned and put the lens cap down. ‘I had a gun pointed at him and I couldn’t shoot him.’

‘I have observed your strong belief that one should protect the weak and vulnerable.’ Teal’c stated. ‘Perhaps when you pointed the gun at Jonas Hansen, you saw not a False God who needed to die but rather a sick man who needed saving.’

‘That’s what Jonas said to me.’ Sam murmured. ‘I couldn’t save him though, could I?’

‘I do not believe anyone could have saved Jonas Hansen except Jonas Hansen.’ Teal’c said.

‘The way he died, Teal’c.’ Sam shook her head. ‘Nobody should die like that and you know what I felt when I saw him thrown into the wormhole? I was relieved. And you know why?’ She didn’t wait for him to answer. ‘Because I wouldn’t have to deal with him again. And now I don’t know what I’m supposed to be feeling. What am I supposed to be feeling?’ The tears flooded her eyes and spilled over onto her cheeks before she could prevent them. She swiped at the moisture, mortified. She whirled away from the bench and stood with her back to the Jaffa. ‘Sorry.’ She gasped. ‘Just ignore me.’

Teal’c moved silently to stand behind her and gently handed her a tissue over her shoulder. She took it gratefully and scrubbed at her face, blew her nose. Eventually, she turned back.

‘I really am sorry, Teal’c.’ Sam said apologetically.

‘There is no need to apologise, Doctor Carter.’ Teal’c said resuming his previous position.

Sam waved her tissue at the Jaffa. ‘You didn’t even come in here for all…this.’ She took a deep breath and regarded him curiously. ‘What did you come here for?’

‘I was wondering whether you had seen Daniel Jackson. I was unable to locate him in his quarters.’ Teal’c said.

‘Sorry, Teal’c.’ Sam said. ‘I haven’t seen him since dinner.’

‘Then I will leave you.’ Teal’c said inclining his head.

‘Maybe I could help?’ Sam offered.

‘Perhaps.’ Teal’c murmured. ‘I wished to learn more about this Abraham Daniel Jackson mentioned.’

‘Well, he’s a biblical figure, Teal’c.’ Sam said and seeing his confusion smiled. ‘He’s mentioned in the bible. It’s the religious text of one of the main faiths here on Earth; Christianity.’

‘I see.’

Sam reached into the open box still on the counter. She drew out Jonas’s bible. ‘Here, Teal’c. You should read this.’

Teal’c took the small black book from her. ‘Thank you, Doctor Carter.’ He bowed a little and left Sam alone in the lab.

She sniffed and looked around the almost completed room. She felt better after her talk with Teal’c, she mused, although she couldn’t believe she’d burst into tears on the poor guy. She blushed again. Still, perhaps she’d been a little hard on the Colonel and Daniel earlier; maybe she had needed to talk after all.

o-O-o

Sam plugged in the television and adjusted its position on the top of the portable unit. ‘I’m afraid it’s not a very recent model, Teal’c, but it still works and you’ll be able to learn all about Earth with it at least until we can get you permission to leave the base.’ She gave a final adjustment and satisfied at last turned to smile at the Jaffa. ‘I don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner.’

‘Hey, campers.’ Jack stood in the doorway and reviewed the other three members of SG1. ‘What’s going on?’

‘Sam got Teal’c a TV.’ Daniel said trying to keep the disbelief out of his voice.

‘It’s actually one of the base’s spare sets, sir.’ Sam explained. She smiled brightly at the Jaffa. ‘Now this is the remote. You switch it on using this and then you can channel hop.’

‘Channel hop?’ Teal’c inquired curiously.

‘There’ll be plenty of time to learn about TV later.’ Jack said firmly. ‘Don’t we have a mission to get ready for?’

Sam turned to the Colonel. ‘Sir, could I have five minutes? I need to speak with Sergeant Siler about my lab.’

Jack regarded Sam’s clear eyes and relaxed posture. It looked like Daniel had been successful at his mission of getting her to talk. ‘Five minutes, Captain. We’ll wait for you in the gear-up room.’

‘Yes, sir.’

She shot Teal’c another smile and hurried out. All three men looked after her, pleased to see her back to herself.

Jack patted Daniel’s shoulder. ‘See. I knew you could get her to talk.’

‘Wasn’t me.’ Daniel said shaking his head.

Jack stared at him in surprise. ‘It wasn’t you?’

‘No.’

‘Then who?’ Jack asked.

They looked at each other, at the TV, back at each other and then both slowly turned to look at Teal’c who was examining the remote as though it was the most fascinating device he had ever seen.

He looked up sensing their regard.

‘Teal’c,’ Jack drawled, ‘is there something you want to tell us?’

‘Yes,’ Daniel said pushing his glasses up his nose and folding his arms across his chest, ‘like why Sam talked to you and not us?’

Teal’c put the remote on the table and clasped his hands behind his back. His impassive expression took on a hint of mischief. ‘It is simple.’

‘Oh?’ Jack asked.

‘I had a superior strategy.’ Teal’c said. The glimpse of their astonished faces as he left the room almost made him smile.

fin.