Storytime with Rachel F Hundred

It was just his office. The same office he had worked in every day when he wasn’t off-world on some mission through the Stargate. OK, so the last time he had been working in his office he had hallucinated about wormholes appearing in the office closet and dead Goa’ulds attacking him but it was still just his office. He could do this. Daniel Jackson took a deep breath and stepped into the room. He hit a switch and the space flooded with reassuring light. He blinked a little – more in surprise than in reaction to the brightness – as he wandered in and took his bearings. The room was exactly as he had left it the night he had collapsed. He had believed that the military efficiency of the USAF would have had the office boxed up and cleared out when he had been committed to the psych ward.

‘Doctor Jackson?’

The voice behind him had him spinning back around to stare at the diminutive form of the SGC’s CMO.

‘Doctor Fraiser.’ Daniel acknowledged her a little stiffly and couldn’t help the protective gesture of wrapping his arms around his upper body tightly.

Janet grimaced slightly. ‘I just wanted to check that you’re not feeling any further side effects from Machello’s machines.’

‘Good. I’m good.’ Daniel waved at her. ‘And you? I mean, you had more of those things inside you than I did.’

‘I’m fine.’ Janet responded automatically. Her hands plunged into the depths of her white coat.

Daniel’s eyebrows rose a little at the defensive tone. The gesture had Janet’s chin jerking upwards and she met his disbelieving gaze head on with a defiant one of her own.

‘Actually,’ Janet took a deep breath, ‘I came to apologise.’

‘Oh.’ Daniel’s mouth fell open slightly. He closed it hurriedly and pushed his glasses up his nose. ‘Well, I, uh…’ For once, he was at a complete loss as to what to say. He couldn’t deny that his trust in the petite doctor had been shaken by the events of the previous few days. She had been instrumental in diagnosing his condition as schizophrenia and in having him committed to a padded cell. He knew she had believed she had been doing the right thing but a large part of him was angry and he knew a lot of that anger was directed at her. He’d put it aside as they’d worked to find a cure for Teal’c but with that crisis resolved, he felt it come back full force to mix with the other emotions battering at him; hurt, abandonment…and the nagging bewilderment of not quite trusting his own senses.

Janet sighed heavily at the continuing silence and waved at the stools. ‘May I…?’

Daniel offered her one stool and regarded her thoughtfully as he pulled up a second. She sat upright; her posture a testament to her military training; her back straight, shoulders squared, chin up, and her hands clasped neatly on a book about Indian mythology that Daniel had unearthed days before to follow up on an obscure reference. She looked determined to say her piece, he realised with a sinking heart and he was proven right a moment later when as soon as he was seated, Janet spoke again.

‘I let you down.’

‘Doctor Fraiser…’ Daniel tried to interrupt her but she looked away from him, her eyes landing on her hands.

‘I should have considered that your…your symptoms were alien in origin,’ Janet continued, ‘especially given the condition of the dead Goa’uld, and the fact that you began to experience your symptoms after coming into contact with them. I should have never have simply assumed that the obvious diagnosis was correct. I let you down as your doctor but, more importantly,’ her dark eyes flickered up to meet his again, ‘as your friend.’

Daniel felt most of his anger drain away abruptly at her evident sincerity. His compassion stirred at Janet’s clear self-recrimination and guilt. ‘I was acting crazy.’ He offered a shy smile. ‘I can see why you jumped to the conclusion I was having some kind of breakdown.’

‘But the point is that I did jump to a conclusion.’ Janet argued passionately.

‘You didn’t do it alone.’ Daniel pointed out. ‘Doctor Mackenzie supported your conclusion.’

Janet leaned forward across the table. ‘That’s no excuse. We simply didn’t look hard enough at the context of your illness.’ She waved at him. ‘We dismissed you and the Colonel when you both tried to suggest it could have been something alien, and Sam when she noted that we’d seen no warning signs of a breakdown. In fact, I don’t think that the rest of your team really believed our diagnosis until you…’

‘Attacked Jack for being a Goa’uld.’ Daniel completed. The uneasy feeling nagging at him eased away with her words. Somehow knowing the rest of his team, that Teal’c, Jack O’Neill and Samantha Carter, had believed in him until he’d crossed the crazy line made it a little easier to accept what had happened.

‘We based too much of our diagnosis on what was likely outside of this mountain, how people would react to stress there.’ Janet admitted. ‘I keep forgetting we’re dealing with a completely different situation here.’

‘There’s not much that constitutes normal around here.’ Daniel allowed.

‘And our diagnosis meant that you were subjected to a secondary trauma of being drugged and…and committed when you were already going through a…a frightening ordeal.’ Janet flushed and looked away guiltily again. ‘We’re supposed to do no harm.’

‘Well, there was no real harm done.’ Daniel murmured.

Her eyes snapped up to his in disbelief.

He gestured at her. ‘I’m not saying that I’m not upset about…everything.’ He said carefully. ‘I am.’ He attempted a smile but he couldn’t maintain it. ‘When I was in that cell, I was scared and alone and I thought I was going mad.’ Like his grandfather. The thought drifted through his head before he ruthlessly buried it again. He impulsively reached across the bench and took her hand in his. ‘But I know you thought you were doing it to protect me.’

Janet turned her hand over to squeeze his gently. ‘I really don’t want this…this to effect our working relationship or our…our friendship, Daniel.’

Daniel smiled at her. ‘I don’t want this to affect my friendship with you either.’

She smiled back at him and he was suddenly aware how close they sat and the way they held hands. A frisson of guilt rippled through him at how comfortable he felt; a reminder that he was still a married man. He gently let go of her.

Janet slipped off the stool in response and gestured behind her at the door. ‘I should get back to the infirmary.’

‘I should get back to…’ Daniel waved at the room around him in bemusement and shook his head.

‘What’s wrong?’ Janet asked, shoving her hands in the pockets of her med coat.

‘Oh, nothing.’ He said dismissively with a wry smile. ‘I just half expected to find everything in my office all packed up and moved out seeing as I was committed.’

Janet smiled knowingly. ‘Colonel O’Neill refused to let them touch anything.’ Her smile widened at his surprise. ‘He said you’d get better and be back before they knew it.’

‘He did?’ Daniel stuttered.

Janet nodded before she left him alone in the room, his thoughts whirling.

o-O-o

‘So, whatcha’ doing?’ Jack’s breezy enquiry had Daniel looking up from the ancient manual he had been meticulously translating.

‘Working.’ He said simply. He’d decided to focus on work rather than dwell on his experience.

Jack wandered further into the room and glanced at the manual with raised eyebrows. ‘Looks…’ he struggled for an appropriate word, ‘dusty.’

‘We think it’s over a hundred years old.’ Daniel said almost absently. ‘It’s fascinating really. We found it on P8Y235 and I think it might have actually been written by a monk who knew the whole history of Ra. I mean, not the whole history but the discovery of Earth and the rebellion. It seems that the monk…’ he trailed away abruptly as he suddenly realised Jack hadn’t made any attempt to stop him talking.

Daniel looked up and frowned at the military man. Jack was standing beside him in his usual stance; hands in the pocket’s of his pants. ‘What?’

‘What?’ replied Jack blankly, his surprise at the question flitting across his face.

‘You’ve usually interrupted me with a question about something else by now or told me to shut up.’ Daniel pointed out.

‘Is it so hard to believe I’m just interested?’ Jack complained, rocking back on his heels.

Daniel simply stared at him.

‘OK,’ Jack admitted, ‘I guess that’s not going to fly.’ He sighed at Daniel’s suspicious gaze. ‘It’s just…’ he waved at the younger man and dropped his own gaze to the floor, ‘good to see you back to yourself.’ Jack mumbled the rest quickly as though he would prefer not to have spoken the words aloud at all.

Daniel smiled as Jack’s gaze flitted back to him. ‘I should thank you.’

Jack’s eyes widened with confusion at the seemingly incongruous statement.

‘For making sure they didn’t touch my office.’ Daniel clarified.

‘Oh.’ Jack’s expression cleared. ‘That.’ He shrugged. ‘Well, I knew you’d be back.’

The complete certainty in Jack’s voice shook Daniel’s composure. ‘I wasn’t.’ The words were out of Daniel’s mouth before he could recall them back.

Jack looked back at him in shock.

Daniel waved his pen at Jack and looked away hurriedly. ‘Forget I said that.’

There was an awkward silence for a long moment.

Jack cleared his throat and slipped onto the stool opposite Daniel. He picked up a statue and turned it around in his hands. ‘You know you have nothing to feel ashamed about, Daniel.’

Daniel kept his eyes pinned to the manual in front of him.

‘When I had those things inside of me the hallucinations were bad,’ Jack carried on despite Daniel’s lack of reaction, ‘and I knew what was causing them.’

‘When I was first put into that cell at the hospital and I was all alone, I really thought I was going mad.’ Daniel confessed, unable to lift his eyes from the book to meet Jack’s sombre gaze for fear the other man would see the tears he was trying to hide.

‘We knew it wasn’t the gate travel making you,’ Jack motioned at Daniel, ‘you know, nuts.’ He sighed. ‘We should have kept looking for the answer,’ he said softly, ‘even after…’

‘I attacked you?’ Daniel blinked back the tears and finally looked up at Jack.

‘Well, on the plus side, I know you’ll never let a Goa’uld get me.’ Jack quipped, trying to lighten the moment.

Daniel laughed because it was expected, and the tension eased a little.

‘Look, Daniel,’ Jack put the statue down and focused completely on his friend, ‘I know the past few days haven’t been easy on any of us, you especially, but we’ll put it behind us and move on like we always do.’

‘Teal’c OK?’ Daniel asked, picking up on Jack’s reference to the rest of their team.

‘He’s good. He’s been kel no reeming for the last few hours to help Junior heal.’ Jack explained. He pointed at Daniel. ‘You saved his life.’

Daniel shook his head. ‘All I did was work it out when the thing went out of me and into Teal’c.’

‘There you go.’ Jack waved at him. ‘That’s what you do. You work it out.’

‘I’m just pleased Mackenzie kept his word and called you when he found out Teal’c was sick.’ Daniel said. ‘I was worried he was going to dismiss it as me being, you know…’

‘Nuts.’ Jack supplied.

‘Yeah.’ Daniel frowned at him. ‘You must have come straight away.’ He hadn’t put the timing together before – his head had been so fuzzy. Jack had left a dying Teal’c to come to the psych ward to talk to him as soon as Mackenzie had called him, Daniel realised.

Jack shrugged. ‘Mackenzie said you needed to see me.’

It had been that simple for Jack. The thought shot through Daniel like lightening. Daniel had said he needed to see him so Jack had gone to see him. Jack had never been abandoned him and he never would; he didn’t leave people behind. The knowledge swept through Daniel and he felt the last of his unhappiness at the last few days slip away. He blinked and realised Jack was staring at him curiously.

‘Thank God for Sam.’ Daniel said out loud. ‘If she didn’t have the protein marker we would have been…’

‘Screwed.’ Jack finished. ‘Majorly screwed.’

‘Indeed.’

The two men’s heads snapped around to find their Jaffa team mate in the open doorway.

Teal’c entered the room with his hands clasped behind his back and came to a halt between his two team mates. ‘I once again owe you my life, Daniel Jackson.’

‘It was Sam and Janet who cured you, Teal’c.’ Daniel waved away the praise.

The Jaffa inclined his head, the light accentuating the dark planes of his skull. ‘Yet it was you who determined the likely cause of my condition, did you not?’

Daniel accepted the compliment. ‘I’m not sure I would have worked it out without Machello’s message though.’

Jack leaned back and put his hands behind his head. ‘You know if anyone should have ended up in a padded cell, it was that guy.’

‘He was a genius.’ Daniel argued.

‘We are talking about a guy who built a body-swapping machine, Daniel.’ Jack muttered.

‘You can’t deny that those Goa’uld killing things are deadly weapons though.’ Daniel said stubbornly.

‘Unsafe weapons.’ Jack shot back. ‘You take the risk of infecting the entire team when you set the landmine.’

‘Will you not consider their use in the future, O’Neill?’ Teal’c asked surprised at the other man’s reaction.

‘I won’t say never.’ Jack admitted. ‘Hammond’s ordered a synthetic version of Carter’s protein marker to be created as a way of fooling the devices. A team could be injected with the marker, set the landmine knowing they’re protected and we get to kill some Goa’uld. Until then, we can’t use them safely.’

‘That’s a good idea.’ Daniel said. ‘Creating a synthetic version of the protein marker.’

‘It was Carter’s.’ Jack admitted.

‘Where is Sam?’ Daniel wondered out loud.

‘Major Carter was not in her lab.’ Teal’c confirmed.

‘She’s in the infirmary.’ Jack said casually as though he had come across the information by accident rather than taking an interest in the whereabouts of their female team mate.

‘Is she OK?’ Daniel asked concerned and then he shook his head. ‘Of course, she’s OK otherwise you’d be there instead of here.’ He muttered unthinkingly. ‘Why’s Sam in the infirmary?’

‘They’re taking blood samples for the synthetic thing,’ Jack explained, shifting position on the stool. ‘I offered to stay but she said she was OK.’

Daniel hid his smile and turned to Teal’c. ‘How are you feeling now, Teal’c?’

‘I am well, Daniel Jackson.’ Teal’c said confidently. ‘My symbiote has healed and is once again providing me with an immune system.’

‘It must have been weird for you,’ Daniel murmured, ‘being sick.’

Teal’c nodded slowly. ‘Indeed.’

‘I figure the last time you were that sick was when you were transforming into those bugs.’ Jack commented.

Teal’c glared at him.

‘It is pretty unusual for you to be sick, Teal’c.’ Daniel said hurriedly.

‘It is an unusual feeling.’ Teal’c allowed. ‘I do not like it.’

‘Well, nobody likes being sick.’ Jack allowed.

The sounds of footsteps approaching the door had them collectively turning to greet Sam.

‘Hey.’ Sam smiled warmly at the group as she entered the office. Teal’c moved a step closer to Jack and she eased in beside Daniel, reaching out to touch his arm. ‘How are you?’

‘I’m fine.’ Daniel said a little self-consciously. ‘You? Jack said you were having blood taken.’

She nodded as she leaned on the bench. ‘We’re going to create a synthetic version of my protein marker just in case anyone else gets accidentally infected.’

‘Jack mentioned it.’ Daniel said.

Sam looked over at Jack who shrugged.

‘I was explaining that we’ll wait until we have a counter-measure for the devices before we use them.’ Jack expanded.

‘Yes, sir.’ Sam agreed. ‘They’re too dangerous otherwise.’

‘I owe you thanks, Major Carter, for saving my life.’ Teal’c said formally.

Sam beamed at him. ‘It was my pleasure, Teal’c. I’m just pleased that the protein marker was able to counteract the devices.’

There was a lightness in her voice that Daniel hadn’t heard for a long while. ‘If you hadn’t had your experience with Jolinar we would never have been able to stop Machello’s devices.’ He commented, tapping his pen on the table. ‘So, I guess something positive has finally come out of your experience.’

‘Yep.’ Sam said briefly.

‘I guess Machello never considered that someone would have the protein marker and not be the current host to a Goa’uld.’ Daniel continued.

‘Well, according to the Tok’ra, they weren’t aware of a host surviving the death of a symbiote before Sam.’ Jack said.

His three team mates stared at him.

‘What?’ Jack asked defensively. ‘Selmak mentioned it.’

Sam frowned at her CO.

Daniel guessed she was wondering when Jack had discussed her situation with Selmak. He figured he should move the conversation on. ‘You know I was thinking that now we know what one of the devices actually does, we might have a better chance of cracking Machello’s personal code in that journal thing you found.’

‘I’ll get it returned from Area 51.’ Sam said excitedly as she straightened. She swayed suddenly and Teal’c caught her, helping her regain her balance. Both Jack and Daniel were beside her in a heartbeat.

‘You OK, Carter?’ Jack asked, his brown eyes gleaming with worry.

Sam leaned heavily on the arm Teal’c offered her. ‘Just a little woozy from giving so much blood, sir.’

‘Cake.’ Jack said firmly. ‘That’s what you need.’

Sam and Daniel exchanged an amused look.

‘Yes, sir.’ Sam said.

‘I will assist you to the commissary.’ Teal’c said authoratively.

‘Let’s go.’ Jack ordered. He glanced at Daniel who had turned back to the bench. ‘You coming, Daniel?’

‘I’ll just pack this up and then I’ll join you.’ Daniel said.

‘We’ll see you there.’

Daniel watched as Jack unobtrusively slipped his hand under Sam’s left elbow as he and Teal’c supported her out of the office. He smiled a little to himself before he remembered he was supposed to be packing up. He reached for the manual and gently closed it. He turned to place it into the closet and froze.

The last time he had opened the cupboard he had seen a wormhole; seen ghosts of the dead Goa’uld reaching out to grab him and pull him in. It had been an hallucination, he reminded himself firmly. It had been caused by Machello’s device; he wasn’t going mad and there wasn’t a wormhole in his cupboard. He took a deep breath and grabbed the handle. He yanked it open.

Only the inside of the cupboard faced him; neat shelves of books and reference materials. He gently placed the manual on the top shelf. Books. No wormholes. No ghosts. He wasn’t going mad. Daniel smiled and closed the closet door firmly.

fin.