Storytime with Rachel F Hundred

‘Good morning, campers!’ Jack O’Neill’s cheery greeting had both his male SG1 team-mates looking up from their morning dress routines.

Daniel Jackson stared at the Colonel suspiciously. ‘You seem cheerful.’ He commented warily.

‘That’s because I am, Daniel.’ Jack allowed generously. He opened his locker and threw the newspaper he carried into the space before he started to strip. ‘I’m me,’ he added, ‘you’re you and Teal’c is,’ he waved at the Jaffa who lifted an eyebrow in response, ‘Teal’c.’ He surreptitiously checked which colour the other two were decked out in and reached for the blue BDU to match.

‘Yeah, yesterday was creepy.’ Daniel agreed, as he returned his attention to tying his boot-laces.

‘Indeed,’ added Teal’c. He turned back to the mirror and continued to apply the decorative make-up to his eyes.

‘I mean what crazy person invents a body-swapping machine anyway?’ Jack said as he dressed.

‘He’d been fighting the Goa’uld a long time, Jack.’ Daniel said softly.

‘So, dementia?’ Jack asked bluntly.

Daniel sighed exasperated. ‘He sacrificed his whole life to the fight, Jack. I think he just wanted a chance to live his life again without that. I mean, I’m not saying he was right, but I guess I understand…’

‘I don’t.’ Jack said brusquely as he fastened up his pants. ‘All I know is that I’m happy to be back in my own body.’

‘As am I.’ Teal’c said firmly.

‘Oh, me too.’ Daniel agreed. He put his glasses back on and ran a hand through his hair. ‘Believe me waking up in Machello’s body wasn’t exactly something I wanted to happen. I was really hoping the whole thing was a bad dream.’

‘There’s that.’ Jack said pulling on his boots. ‘Thank God Carter worked that body-swapping thing out.’

‘We all owe Captain Carter a large debt of gratitude.’ Teal’c stated. He closed his locker seemingly done and ready for the day’s activities.

‘Both Doctor Fraiser and Sam were amazing.’ Daniel agreed. ‘If you think about it we’re lucky Machello didn’t choose Sam.’

‘Well, why would he?’ Jack said absently. ‘She’s a woman and he was a man.’

‘But it would have been a great way to hide from the Goa’uld though.’ Daniel pointed out. He closed his locker and retook his seat on the bench evidently waiting for Jack to finish dressing. ‘Can you imagine if you and Sam had moved the device back on the planet instead of you and Teal’c? You would have been in…’

‘Ah!’ Jack snapped. He glared at Daniel. ‘Don’t even think about finishing that sentence. It was bad enough being in Teal’c and having to cope with Junior without…’ he made a vague gesture. The thought that he and Sam might have changed places sent a chill down his spine. As close as he and Carter had gotten as team-mates, and he hoped as friends, he didn’t think their working relationship would have withstood a body-swapping experience.

‘It might have been interesting.’ Daniel argued, teasing the older man mercilessly. ‘You could have really found out what it’s like being a woman.’

‘I’m very happy being a man, Daniel,’ Jack stated authoratively, ‘and I doubt very much that Sam wants in my pants.’ He slammed the locker door shut and turned around to face a surprised Teal’c and an open-mouthed Daniel. ‘What?’ He asked. ‘What did I say?’

‘That Sam didn’t want in your pants.’ Daniel repeated, trying to keep the grin off his face.

‘No, I didn’t.’ Jack denied hurriedly. He couldn’t have said that, could he?

‘Yes, you did.’ Daniel shot back, looking entirely too pleased with Jack’s discomfort.

‘You did in fact make such a statement, O’Neill.’ Teal’c said, clasping his hands behind his back.

Jack thrust a hand through his greying hair, sending the strands awry. ‘Well, I didn’t mean that. I meant…’

‘Yes, Jack,’ Daniel’s blue eyes twinkled back at him irrepressively, ‘what did you mean exactly?’

Jack sighed heavily and glowered at the archaeologist. ‘You know what I meant.’ He shoved his hands in his pockets. ‘Breakfast?’

Jack noticed the silent look Daniel and Teal’c exchanged and wondered if they were going to continue teasing him for his Freudian slip.

‘Breakfast.’ Daniel agreed cheerily, standing up.

Jack hid his sigh of relief and led the way out of the locker-room to the commissary. He grabbed his tray and helped himself to a bowl of Fruit Loops. He added an apple and a banana along with a mug of coffee. He headed for the tables and smiled at the sight of Sam already sat with Janet Fraiser. He slipped into an empty chair.

‘Morning, Doctor.’ He nodded at Fraiser and then smiled at Sam. ‘Captain.’

‘Colonel.’ Sam replied formally, although the smile and the welcome in her blue eyes made Jack want to grin back unreservedly.

Janet waved her spoon at Jack and reminded him they weren’t alone. ‘Morning, sir. How are you feeling today?’

‘Why do I get the feeling that’s a loaded question with you, Doc?’ Jack asked, digging into his cereal.

Janet’s lips twitched. ‘I admit I do have a little professional curiosity considering you occupied Teal’c’s body for a large period of time.’ She acknowledged Daniel and Teal’c with a nod as they joined the table.

‘I’m curious, sir.’ Sam said. ‘Teal’c mentioned you had to perform a meditation…’ her blue eyes flickered to the Jaffa.

‘Kel no reem.’ Teal’c supplied helpfully.

Jack took his time swallowing his food. ‘It went fine.’ He said defensively. He threw Daniel a look that he hoped clearly said ‘help’.

Daniel sighed but he turned to smile shyly at Janet. ‘I just wanted to say thank you for everything you did to help keep me, well,’ he waved his knife at the petite brunette, ‘Machello and me really, alive.’

‘Just doing my job.’ Janet said brightly. ‘But thank you.’ She sighed and pushed her bowl away. ‘I have to admit it was touch and go there.’

‘Really?’ Daniel said absently; he was focused on drizzling some syrup over his pancakes.

‘Hmmm,’ Janet picked up her coffee, ‘we thought we’d lost you at one point. You actually flat-lined.’

Daniel’s head snapped up in surprise.

Jack nudged him. ‘Daniel. Syrup.’

The archaeologist righted the syrup and looked at his drenched breakfast. He shrugged and dug in anyway.

Jack gave a mock shudder.

Daniel made a face at him and turned his attention back to the doctor. ‘When did that happen?’

‘Just after you talked to Machello.’ Janet said quickly.

‘So I actually, you know, died?’ Daniel asked incredulous.

Janet shook her head. ‘Technically, your heart stopped beating but we were able to restart it very quickly.’

‘I don’t remember that.’ Daniel admitted before he shovelled another forkful of pancake into his mouth.

‘You were unconscious immediately afterwards.’ Sam informed him. She laid her knife and fork neatly on the empty plate in front of her and reached for her juice. ‘We were very worried we wouldn’t be able get you all back in your own bodies before it happened again.’

‘It must have been weird talking to Machello.’ Janet commented. ‘Seeing your own body and hearing somebody else talk with your voice.’

‘Weird doesn’t begin to cover it.’ Jack grumbled. He frowned. ‘What happened to the body-swapping doohickey anyway?’

‘General Hammond’s ordered it destroyed, sir.’ Sam explained. ‘He didn’t want any further accidents.’

‘A sensible precaution.’ Teal’c noted.

Jack pointed his spoon at Sam. ‘Well, thank you for working out how to get us all back in our own bodies.’

‘I’m just glad Machello gave me the pertinent information in time, sir.’ Sam said, dismissing the praise with a wave of her hand. ‘I was getting nowhere with that computerised notebook we found. Machello’s code is…unique.’

‘Want some help deciphering it?’ Daniel offered around a mouthful of pancake.

She beamed at him. ‘That would be great.’

Jack scraped his bowl clean and set it aside as he peeled the banana. ‘So, if you died when you were in Machello’s body,’ he began as he focused his brown eyes on Daniel, ‘doesn’t that make it what…the fourth or fifth time you’ve died?’

Daniel scowled at him. ‘I’ve only died twice.’ He responded tersely. ‘Once on Ra’s ship and once with the Nox.’

‘And the time with the fish guy.’ Jack retorted.

‘You thought I was dead. I wasn’t dead.’ Daniel shot back.

‘And on Klorel’s ship.’

‘Again, you only thought I was dead.’ Daniel gestured at him with his fork sending tiny droplets of syrup across the table.

Jack gestured with the half-eaten banana. ‘And in the mine on…what was that planet again?’

‘P3R636, sir.’ Sam supplied helpfully.

‘Thank you, Carter.’ Jack said. ‘P3R636.’

‘Injured.’ Daniel glared at the Colonel. ‘Not dead.’

‘So, that’s what the fifth time?’ Jack said.

‘I’ve only died twice.’ Daniel said exasperated. ‘Maybe three times if I technically died when I was in Machello.’

Jack smirked at him and popped the last of the banana in his mouth. Daniel’s face smoothed into a mischievous expression and Jack felt his stomach plummet. This wasn’t going to be good, he realised.

‘Sam,’ Daniel began conversationally, ‘we were talking before about how it was fortunate you didn’t touch the machine instead of Teal’c and get swapped with Jack.’

Sam blanched and choked on her juice. She coughed and Daniel apologetically patted her on the back. ‘Yes,’ she gasped, ‘fortunate.’

Jack glared at the younger man. Daniel’s intent might have been to have embarrassed Jack but it looked to the Colonel like the Captain was mortified by the idea of body-swapping with him. There again, why wouldn’t she be? Jack mused. The thought of swapping bodies with his CO didn’t exactly thrill him either.

The base alarm sounded.

Jack looked heavenward. ‘What now?’ He pushed his chair back and headed for the stairs; the rest of his team were behind him. They entered the control room at a run.

‘Report.’ Jack ordered briskly.

Lieutenant Simmons turned to look at the Colonel nervously. ‘We have an unscheduled incoming wormhole.’

‘Who’s off-world?’ Jack asked. He nodded at the base commander as General Hammond joined them.

‘Currently just SG2, sir. They’re scheduled to return in thirty minutes.’ Simmons confirmed. ‘We are receiving a signal.’ He frowned as the IDC programme failed to recognise the transmission.

‘There is data in the transmission.’ Sam frowned and tapped an instruction into the computer. ‘It’s an audio message.’

The wormhole disengaged and Jack looked to Sam for an explanation; he noticed he wasn’t the only one; practically the whole control room had their attention pinned to the Captain.

She shook her head. ‘I’m sorry, sirs. This may take a while to clean up.’

‘You have an hour, Captain.’ Hammond ordered before he headed back up the stairs to his office.

Jack gave Sam a sympathetic glance as the Captain turned to her monitor and began work.

o-O-o

‘You needed my help?’

Sam looked up with a smile at Daniel. ‘Yeah. We’ve got the transmission cleaned up but I can’t understand it.’ She moved to a station at the back of the control and pressed a button. A garbled voice came out of the speakers. She looked at Daniel anxiously. ‘What do you think?’

‘I think I recognise the language.’ Daniel frowned and gestured at the machine. ‘Can you play it again?’

Sam nodded. She reset the machine.

‘What’s going on?’ Jack asked as he walked into the control room with Teal’c.

‘I cleaned up the audio recording, sir.’ Sam explained as she pressed the play button again.

The harsh voice spoke again.

‘That is Goa’uld.’ Teal’c said warily.

‘That’s what I thought.’ Daniel admitted as he wrapped his arms around his torso.

Sam gestured. ‘Can you translate it?’

‘I think so. Can you replay it?’ Daniel reached for a spare pen and notepaper on the desk and started scribbling as Sam played the recording for a third time. ‘It’s a gate address, I think.’ He frowned, his brow furrowing as he tried to make out the words. Teal’c leaned over and made suggestions until they finally had the full message.

‘Meet at this address.’ Daniel pointed at the symbols he had written down.

‘OK,’ Jack said slowly as he rocked back on his heels, ‘meet who?’

‘They don’t actually identify themselves.’ Daniel admitted. His eyes widened and snapped to Sam’s excitedly as hers snapped to his.

‘You think?’ Sam wondered out loud.

‘Think what?’ Jack asked blankly, looking from Sam to Daniel and back.

‘They did say they would call us.’ Daniel replied to Sam, ignoring Jack.

‘Who?’ Jack asked frustrated.

Teal’c raised a questioning eyebrow.

‘And who else would know our radio frequencies?’ Daniel continued oblivious.

‘Will somebody tell me who we’re talking about here?’ Jack snapped.

‘The Tok’ra, sir.’ Sam said apologetically. ‘My Dad did say they would contact us.’ She slid off the stool as Hammond approached.

‘Report, Captain.’ Hammond ordered.

‘Sir, the transmission was an audio recording in Goa’uld which we’ve translated. It’s a request for a meeting at a set of coordinates.’ Sam said briskly.

‘We think it could be the Tok’ra.’ Daniel added. ‘They told us they would call and they would know our radio frequencies through Sam’s Dad.’ He pushed his glasses up his nose.

‘But the voice on the recording isn’t your father?’ Hammond asked Sam.

‘No, sir.’ She agreed.

‘If this is the Tok’ra why would they not identify themselves?’ Teal’c asked sombrely.

Jack stabbed a finger at the Jaffa. ‘Good point, Teal’c. That’s a good point.’

‘It’s possible they didn’t want to make an explicit identification in case the transmission was intercepted.’ Daniel argued. ‘Surely the fact that they’re using our radio frequencies has to suggest they have some intimate knowledge of us? That they know us in some way?’

‘Colonel?’ Hammond turned to Jack for a recommendation.

Jack sighed. ‘It could be an ambush, sir.’

‘Oh, come on, Jack…’ Daniel began passionately.

‘But,’ Jack said loudly, silencing the other man, ‘it could also be the Tok’ra.’ He held Hammond’s pale blue eyes. ‘There’s really only one way to find out for certain, sir.’

Hammond nodded in agreement; the only way to know for certain was to attend the meeting. ‘I’m not keen on sending any team into an ambush.’ He said authoratively. He held up a hand before Daniel could protest. ‘We’ll send a probe. If things check out with the planet, then I’ll consider it.’

A few minutes later, Sam finished the modifications on the MALP. Her team-mates turned anxiously to her as she re-entered the control room.

She nodded at General Hammond. ‘We’re ready, sir.’

‘Dial it up, Lieutenant.’ Hammond instructed.

Simmons acknowledged the order and entered the address into the computer. SG1 waited impatiently as the gate spun and the chevrons locked one by one. The wormhole exploded in a blue and white swoosh before it settled back into the glistening puddle. The MALP headed up the ramp and into the horizon.

‘We’re receiving telemetry, sir.’ Simmons confirmed.

‘On the monitor, son.’ Hammond ordered.

A picture of a sandy planet flickered into place. There was no sign of life around the gate.

‘There doesn’t seem any sign of an ambush.’ Daniel noted, waving at the screen.

‘The purpose of an ambush is to take your enemy unawares.’ Teal’c pointed out.

Jack hid a smile. ‘It does look clear, sir.’

‘Atmosphere and weather conditions check out, sirs.’ Sam added as she examined the rest of the data streaming in from the MALP’s sensors.

Hammond sighed. ‘What are your thoughts, Captain?’

‘Sir?’ Sam asked nervously.

‘Does it look familiar?’ Hammond asked waving a hand at the monitor. ‘Do you remember it at all?’

Sam stared at the monitor unsettled by the question; her ability to access the memories of the Tok’ra symbiote she had been host to was limited and in all honesty she didn’t want to try. As she’d confided in Jack just after the business with the black hole, she was very sick of being treated like a freak.

‘Take your time, Sam.’ Jack’s hushed words had her looking at him briefly, and as she took in the confidence and encouragement in the depths of his brown eyes, she realised he was also thinking about their conversation. She nodded and shifted her gaze back to the monitor. She shook her head. ‘No, sir. There’s nothing. General, if this is the Tok’ra and we don’t go…’

Hammond looked over at Jack.

‘I recommend SG1 go ahead with the meeting, sir.’ Jack said formally.

‘OK, but I’m assigning SG3 to go along as back-up…’

‘With respect, sir, I think SG1 should go alone.’ Jack shrugged. ‘If this is an ambush, I think it would be best to restrict the number of potential hostages and if this is the Tok’ra, well,’ he sent Sam an apologetic look, ‘I think it would be best to restrict the number of potential hostages.’

Sam’s lips twitched as she remembered how they’d been held prisoner on their last visit to the Tok’ra base. She ducked her head and missed the exasperated look Hammond shot Jack.

‘Fine, Colonel.’ Hammond nodded at the group. ‘Gear up, SG1.’

The change into desert fatigues and equipment was swift, and they were soon in the gate room ready to embark. Hammond gave them the go ahead and Jack nodded at Teal’c and Daniel to go first. He paused with Sam just in front of the wormhole, the blue casting a strange and eerie light over their faces.

‘You OK, Carter?’ He asked quietly.

‘I guess I’m a little nervous at seeing the Tok’ra again, sir.’ Sam admitted.

Jack gave her a lop-sided smile. ‘You never know; it could be Dad.’

He stepped through before she could reply but she was grinning as she followed him, and hoping he was right.

fin.